Inside looking out
by The unwritten promise
Summary: Akuroku fic. Roxas is in a relationship with Riku. Axel wants Roxas to be in a relationship with him. When Axel begins to see what Riku is doing to Roxas he can't help but intervene. But how far will he go to save Roxas when Roxas just doesn't want to be saved? No Flames Please
1. Fun Run

I was sat at the back of maths, doodling in my blue and black notebook again, entranced by the swirls and lines that formed beneath my pencil as I sketched out my imagination. Whenever I draw, I don't start out with an intended image, I just let my hand move freely and allow the pencil to have a lot of leash, and it just always seems to work for me. I don't know what it is about maths, it could be the stoic numbers or the teachers droning voice or even the beer tinted windows that prevent us from looking outside, but I always seem to zone out, constantly returning to my notebook to add another addition to my drawings. That's probably the main reason I'm failing this subject with a D-.

I blinked as a crumpled piece of paper landed in front of me before I glanced about curiously, catching Axel's smiling eye's from across the room as he smirked at me, his acid green eyes pulsating with mischief before he turned back to the front, chewing on a large pink straw. It's probably his cigarette substitute for lessons or something. I looked back down at the crumpled paper and unfolded it, straightening it out and flattening it as the teacher continued to drawl about algebra equations, pointing at the board with a metre long stick as he paced the room, his bald head shining in the light like a bowling ball.

_Yo Rox, me and the others are going out tonight, we're gonna go try and sneak into that new Club Rouge. You in?_

I bit my bottom lip nervously, frowning at the piece of paper and glancing about the room. Demyx was sat in the far corner opposite me, staring out the windows lazily while Zexion sat next to him, hastily jotting notes down in his crammed full notebook. Behind them sit Marluxia and Laxrene, the pair giggling and snorting together as they point at something in the pink haired boy's text book. They've probably drawn another wiener or something. It wouldn't be the first time, their science books were littered with them and other erh… private parts. Kairi, Namine and Xion are sat at the front, taking notes between soft whispers and murmurs as they look between each other and Sora, my twin brother. He's sat next to them on the next desk along, blowing soft kisses and winking with goo goo eyes. He's a hopeless romantic and he's recently been chasing Kairi, the girl with deep read hair. I know she like's him back; she's told me so herself, but apparently it's some game where they have to play hard to get or something. I don't know, love always was a confusing subject.

I looked back down at the note and began to scrawl away. My drawings may be perfect, but my handwriting is a sin that would upset the devil. _Sorry Ax, I can't make it. I'm supposed to be meeting Riku tonight._ I scrunched the note back up and waited for the teacher to turn his back to us, my opportunity came when he turned to the blackboard to write down a method we had to follow, writing down the page in the text book where our questions where and beginning another lecture. I raised my hand high, stuck out my tongue and lobbed the piece of paper at Axel in one fluid movement, grinning when it hit him in the temple and he frowned down at it, picking it up of the floor and reading it before writing on it himself.

I turned my attention back to my drawing while waiting, looking at it sideways and grinning. It looked like an opaque waterfall, the water gushing past a small stream as it frothed at the bottom in an angry stupor while a bold American eagle soared overhead, clearing the plains and flying high into the sky to become lost as a silhouette as its shadow graced the grass, running beneath the eagles body. It was all extremely detailed, and without knowing it I had created yet another perfect picture. I don't normally boast about my work, heck I'm failing all of my subjects except art, but there's something about my pictures that strikes pride inside of me, filling me to the brim with an untold pleasure that I can't just place.

I smiled as the crumpled note fell on my paper and looked up again at Axel. He's not smiling anymore, instead he looks really pissed about something. I shrugged my shoulders and mouthed 'what?' but he just rolled his eyes and turned back towards the front again. I looked down at the note puzzled, furrowing my brows as I opened it and read Axel's neat and pristine looped handwriting. _Again? Rox you're always with him, and you're never happy. Why don't you just come out with us for one night, it'll be just like old times. I'm sure Riku wont mind. What have you got to lose really?_

I sighed, letting my shoulders deflate and shaking my head. Axel just didn't understand, I love Riku more than anything, he's my whole world. I promised him that I'd meet him in the park, so that's what I'm going to do. I scrawled back a quick apology and threw it over at him again, hoping he would understand. I watched him read the note before he looked up and over at Demyx who was pointing to the scrunched up paper and raising his eyebrows lightly. Axel threw the paper over to him and I winced as Demyx looked up at me genuinely hurt, scribbling something down and throwing it back to Axel, who added his own written addition before lobbing it back at me. I didn't wait for the paper to fall, instead I rose out of my seat a little and grabbed the small ball, closing my fist around it and grinning at Axel, but he never returned it. I guess I really upset him this time.

I opened the note again and read Demyx's scruffy jottings, _C'mon Roxy. You used to be so cool and fun man. What happened to you? Ever since you met that Riku kid you've been acting all strange._ I frowned at the words, reading over them slowly to try and get them to make sense. I haven't changed, at least I don't think so, and sure I've lost a few friends since I met Riku, but they were all jerks anyway. If they couldn't accept who I was with that's their problem not mine, right? I looked to the looped handwriting beneath Demyx's scribble and read Axels little attachment, _Demyx is right Rox. We hardly ever see you anymore, ever. You're changing and its cuz of that Riku guy. Ditch him for a night, I promise you wont regret it. He's a jerk anyway._

I rolled my eyes at the piece of paper. No matter who I'm with Axel never accepts them. You would have thought he would do seeing as he's my best friend and all, but yeah. He never does. I was about to write a reply, but the bell went signalling the end of the day, so I swept the note into my bag with my notebook and pencil and stood up, making my way towards the front of the class as everyone filed out. I eventually managed to squish past all of the seventh graders in the hallway and clear a path towards my brother as he leaned on a radiator, flirting with that Kairi girl again as she giggled behind her hand, swatting Sora in the shoulder lightly and walking away to join Xion and Namine.

"Hey Sora, you going out again tonight?" I asked, tapping him lightly on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Huh? Wha? Oh, Roxas. Heh, you surprised me bro." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and grinned down at me. Even though we're twins Sora's taller than me by about two inches, smarter than me in everything except art and bigger than me, but not faster. He kinda got the whole package yano, but he also got moms slender figure, bushy brown hair and up beat personality so its not all doom and gloom. Me? I take after my dad more than anything, we're more like brothers than father and son, everyone says so.

I smiled, "You going out again tonight?" I hefted my back pack further up my shoulder and pushed a seventh grader out of the way as they were pushed into me.

"Yeah. Mom and dad won't be home 'till tomorrow. You know cuz its their anniversary and stuff, so I was wondering…" he trailed of and looked away from me, folding his arms and tapping his feet nervously as he itched his nose absentmindedly.

"If I'd cover for you again?" I rolled my eyes, smiling slightly, "do you even need to ask Sora? Of course I'll cover for you. What do you want me to say this time?"

He clapped me on the shoulder and grinned, "nice one bro, I know I can always count on you. Er just tell them I'm doing revision at Demyx's. Make it sound realistic though, say I'm helping him do his English homework or something and we decided to make it an all nighter."

I laughed, "Sure thing Sora, but where are you actually going?"

He winked at me sneakily and nodded in Kairi's direction while she waved at him shyly, giggling behind her books and chattering nervously with her friends, "I'm gunna be hauling me some ass."

I couldn't help laughing at him, "Since when did you lose your virginity?"

"Since like last year when we went horse riding."

"Horse riding? Sora you do know that only happens with girls right?" I asked.

He looked at me stupidly before he smiled again, laughing himself over exaggeratedly "Yeah, 'course I knew that. I was just testing you. Anyway, I gotta go. Remember, make it sound realistic and whatever you do, don't let dad come and get me this time." He jogged of to catch up with the trio of girls and I let out a small breathy laugh, turning away from him and heading towards the exit at the opposite side of the school. The hallways are practically deserted now, the floors polished and pristine as teachers walk by with cigs and coffee, preparing for the long night of marking work ahead.

I was almost at the doors, my finger tips resting on the cold metal bar and ready to push open before I heard my name getting called somewhere behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and grinned as a bunch of bobbing red spikes ran after me, hand held high in the air as he grinned. I turned around and smiled as Axel reached me, resting his hands on his knees and panting before he looked up at me and smirked, straightening up and smiling.

"For a second there I thought you were gonna leave without me." He laughed and I grinned back at him.

"Leave without you Ax? Nah, I'd never do that. I was just gonna go wait on the front for you, I figured you'd have another detention or something."

"Nah. If they can't catch me, they can't keep me. That's what I say-"

"AXEL FLINT! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT."

I looked around Axel's side as he peered over his shoulder and winced, our head teacher, Mr Ratchet, was running straight for us, sprinting at the door as his brown eyes glazed over with a fiery fury that resembled the wrath of Hell. "Speaking of which" Axel continued, looking back at me and grinning "We should probably be running right about now."

"Wha-Ahhh" I screamed in mid sentence, surprised as Axel grabbed my wrist, pushing the exit door open and running across the school fields and across the rail road tracks that lined the opposite side. He finally stopped as a train went past and blocked our head teacher from our view, releasing me and letting me fall onto the long lush grass, panting and sweating like mad as he grinned above me.

"Wow, your out of shape Roxy." He grinned, sitting next to me and leaning back on his arms, watching the train ride past as it blew a gentle summer breeze over us.

"Yeah well it's not everyday you drag me into your fun runs." I smiled, catching my breath and sitting up.

He shrugged, "I figured you needed cheering up. You've been real depressing this week, you know that?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "How so?"

Again he shrugged and tilted his head towards me, "I dunno, you just never seem to have the time for us anymore."

I snorted into the back of my hand and smiled, "By 'us' you obviously mean you."

He sat up and sighed, "Something like that." He smiled and turned to look me straight in the face, his emerald green eyes hypnotic and mesmerizing, "But lets face it Rox, I'm the only one who gives your life meaning, right?"

I laughed, "Yeah Ax, you and Riku are all I live for." I touched my heart and made a gesture to the sky as he laughed with me, before frowning and turning away from me.

"What do you see in that Riku guy anyway?"

It was my turn to shrug this time, "I honestly don't know, there's just something about him that draws me to him. It's strange."

"You're telling me? My best friend is going out with the crummiest guy that ever lived. Seriously, I've seen slugs with more class than that guy"

"Axel…I don't wanna hear it. You've said all this before; can't you just respect my decision?" I stood up and stretched, waving my arms above my head as he mimicked my movements, laughing when I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Just be safe Roxy, I don't wanna see you getting hurt or nothing."

I rolled my eyes, "Now you're starting to sound like Sora."

His mouth fell open and his eyebrows rose, "How dare you insult me. Do I look like a peppy skirt chasing moron to you?"

I stood watching the train go by, contemplating my answer before I froze in fear. The train has gone completely past and our head teacher is still stood there, jogging on the spot angrily as he waves his fists in the air, muttering curses and beginning to jump across the tracks. "Er Axel?"

He had his back currently turned away from me, his hands behind his head as he whistled, looking up at the clouds and smiling. "Yeah Rox?"

I backed up slowly, turning around and running past Axel as he stared at me baffled, "I THINK WE SHOULD RUN!"

"What?" I looked back over my shoulder and laughed as he only just managed to avoid out teachers running jump, his hand falling short and just missing his ankles as he jumped aside. "Jesus Christ Teach, you just don't let it go do ya." I watched as he ran after me, ignoring our teacher who protested very colourfully with a face full of mud, and then I lost him as I entered the surrounding forest, laughing and stopping to give Axel a chance to catch up.

Eventually he did, collapsing over a fallen log with his feet hanging in the air. I looked back into the forest pines, but there was no evidence that our head had followed any further. "What the hell did you do to him Ax? He never chases us of school property."

Axel sat up and smirked at me, "I just complemented him on how nice his son looks when I saw the picture in his office."

"His son?" I stared down on him confused. "But the Head doesn't have a son; he only has a daughter…"

"And how the bloody hell was I supposed to know that huh? Not my fault he birthed a tit less wonder."

I couldn't help laughing as I offered Axel my hand, which he gladly took as I pulled him to his feet. "You can be a real dunce sometimes Ax, you know that?"

"Says the boy who's failing every subject he takes? Compared to you I look like a fucking star."

I flipped him of, smiling as I began to make my way through the forest pines to my house on the far side. I was quiet, years of practiced movements made me stealthy and perfect, but Axel was clumsy, noisily crashing through the bushes and muttering curses as twigs scratched him on all sides, the roots purposefully attempting to trip him as he stomped by. After about twenty minutes of walking and talking about school gossip we finally emerged through the bushes and tress, looking down on the small town where I lived.

"So Roxas" Axel panted, walking up besides me and grinning, "You always walk through the bushes when I'm not there or something? Cuz I gotta tell you, I prefer the Cinder Track a lot more."

"Yeah, me and Sora used to play up here when we were little."

"Seriously? Your dad let you play up here? I always figured Cloud would be the over protective type."

"Nah he never knew about it. He'd kill us if he ever found out."

"You mean like he did the day you told him you were ready to come out of the closet?" he laughed and I smirked.

"Something like that."

"Ah well Roxy", he clapped me on the shoulder and laughed loudly as we entered the town, people bustling about as car horns honked noisily near shops, "at least you'll always have me, eh Rox?"

"Yeah that's true," I smiled, "But what if you get a boyfriend some day huh? You'd probably push me out."

"Nah. That's not ever gonna happen small fry, because you" he ruffled my hair and slung his arm around my neck, "are my best friend, and best friends don't let stupid things like love come between them, right?"

"Right." I stopped outside of my house, a small building with three rooms, a garage and a neat little garden. Axel stopped with me and ran his hands through his hair.

"You sure you don't wanna come with us tonight? It'll be a laugh Rox, c'mon."

"Sorry Axel, no can do. I'm meeting Riku remember."

"Riku shmiku. Let's go have fun."

"Axel…"

"I know, I know. You don't wanna hear it right?" I nodded and he sighed. "I wish you could see what that guy's doing to you Rox."

"He isn't doing anything Ax. Anyway, I gotta go. You fancy hanging out tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday huh?"

"All day."

"Sure, I'm up for that, but no Riku. Just me, you and the others, like old times." He smiled fondly and I nodded.

"Okay Ax, like old times."

"Cool. Well, see ya tomorrow Roxy, drop me a text or somethin'."

"Will do." I watched him walk away from my house, hands dug deep into his pocket as he began whistling again, looking back over his shoulder at me and grinning as I waved goodbye. I finally stopped when he turned the corner and frowned when I realised I was still smiling before I rolled my eyes and jumped up the steps leading to my front door, thrusting my key into the lock and turning it.

The door swung wide open and I was met with an echoing silence, the rooms dull and lifeless as I dropped my bag by the door, throwing my shoes into a corner and proceeding to the kitchen. "MOM? DAD?...ANYONE HOME?" There was no answer and I sighed, opening the fridge and grabbing a can of coke, slamming the door closed and frowning as a small fluttering piece of yellow paper caught my eye. I ripped it down and stared at it.

_Roxas and Sora. _

_Me and your mother have gone away for the day as you know. We will be back tomorrow morning so no house parties and **NO** leaving the house…yes Sora I am referring to you. If you need us call the number below. We're trusting you to do as you're told for a change. Remember, bed by eleven, no late night movies or snacks and no staying out late. _

_Love _

_Dad Xx_

I grinned down at the paper. Mom and dad would freak if they knew that Sora was staying out all night, let alone that he's staying at a girl's house. I threw the note on the kitchen table and stretched, lifting my arms high into the air and grinning as I headed towards the stairs. Time to get ready for my date with Riku.

* * *

Please do not panic. This is an akuroku fic. I highly suggest that if you love Riku as a character you do not read this fic as you're about to see a completely different side to his persona in this story. Please do not be offended and I will be ignoring all flames.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I watched a friend of mine go through something like this and it was a long and painful process for everyone, therefore please understand that this fic will be long and detailed. I will be missing nothing out as this is a serious issue. Thankyou :3 Sorry that AN was so serious guys. Please review. I'm really not that scary, I'm actually pretty shy...most of the time :P


	2. Just like chocolate

I walked out of the house, turning the key in the lock and pulling my jacket further up and about myself to protect myself against the cold wind, the ice breeze slicing through me as it ruffled my hair and kissed my skin leaving a cool burning sensation that gave me chills. I jumped down the last few steps, landing on the bottom and smiling as I tucked my headphones into my ears, looking left and right before I crossed the road and began making my way towards the park.

It's late and it's dark, ten pm on a Friday night with the summer sun setting low on the horizon, bathing the sky a deep absorbing orange as it glared down the street, watching every step I took. I'm kinda nervous really. I'm finally on my way to meet Riku and even though I've been texting him all day he hasn't returned any of them. I can't help wondering why, but there's probably a reasonable explanation for it anyway I guess.

I crossed the road as the cars pulled up along the zebra crossing, letting me pass as I waved my hand at them, running across the black and white lines and to the bus stop on the opposite side. I was waiting at the bus stop for a good ten minutes before the bus actually pulled up and I was able to climb aboard and take a seat. The bus smelled slightly, the windows open to let the breeze through as the air remained stiff and stuffy, the heat intensifying the smell as I wrinkled my nose and ran my hands through my hair, tapping my foot lightly against the floor as my nerves began to play up.

I stared out the window at the various people that went about their daily lives; women giggling with friends as they hit the clubs, men eyeing them up and following, practically drooling, mothers and fathers wrestling with screaming five year olds as they fought to pull them away from the toy shops, teenagers hanging about lazily on shop corners, blaring music and having fun. I smiled slightly, I wish I could join them…but I promised Riku and I'm not one for giving up on my promises, even if the skate park looks extremely tempting.

The bus dragged by the streets painfully slow for the next half an hour before it finally pulled up outside the park and I was able to get of, waving my thanks to the driver as he smiled and nodded in my direction, closing the doors behind me and driving of. I took a deep breath and sighed, straightening my shoulders as I turned towards the park. The trees are enclosing the park itself, trapping its entity and shrouding it in darkness as birds call faintly in the distance, crying for each other as the sweet flower blossoms aroma fills the air, sweet and clean. The park is a perfect haven…

The stars are finally out, the sun has completely set and the moon has risen, filling the world in a milky white glow. I looked up at the stars and grinned, tonight is going to be perfect. I didn't wait another minute. I began to make my way through the gates, up the steps on my left and down the path that led to the fountain in the heart of the park. I passed the maze, it looks strangely eerie and it made me shiver a little, so I sped up a little and jogged the rest of the way, stopping at the park bench were I had agreed to meet Riku, grinning and sitting down as I watched the fountains water trickle down slowly. This place really is beautiful.

I jumped as my phone vibrated in my back pocket, the music in my ears changing to that of my ringtone and I laughed a little at my own over reactive nerves, pulling my earphones out of my ears. I pulled my phone out my pocket and scrolled down the list of names, smiling sadly when Axel's name popped up.

_Yo Roxy. Get your butt down here, we're having a blast and we miss you! Xxx Oh Demyx says hi _

I frowned down at the message, about to reply when a voice broke through the silence that surrounded me. "Who is it?"

I looked up startled, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly as Riku stood in front of me. Wow he was so silent, I never even noticed him walking up to me. I beamed happily, pocketing my phone and forgetting about the text as I wrapped my arms around is shoulders, feeling him grip me tightly around the waste as he pulled me close before he held me at arms length and looked me up and down. "What are you wearing?"

"Huh?" I looked down at my jeans and white t-shirt, my cream jacket flying in the wind slightly. "Oh this? I just threw something together, why?" It was a huge lie; I had spent at least two hours putting my outfit together. I had tried really hard ya know, I mean I wanted to look good for him. I gotta say I think I did a pretty good job.

"You look ridiculous; can't you at least make an effort to look good when you're out with me?" He laughed at me and pushed past me to go sit on the bench, looking up at the stars as his silver hair appeared to glow in the moonlight. I frowned down at the ground…I thought I looked okay. "So who was it?"

"Huh?" I turned to look at him, hiding my embarrassment behind a smile as he rolled his eyes at me.

"Geez Roxas, what's wrong are you deaf or something? I said who was it?" He held out his hand, "give it here."

"What?"

"Your phone Roxas, I just wanna see is all." He smiled and it melted my heart, "What don't you trust me? Your not keeping secrets are ya Roxy?"

"No of course not" I grinned, digging deep into my pockets and handing him my phone. He snatched it from me as I went to sit next to him, wrapping his arm around me as the other scrolled through my phone. I don't mind I guess, he's just curious right?

"Who's Axel?" I felt him squeeze my arm tightly as his nails gripped and dipped into my skin harshly.

"A friend is all. Why?"

"How good of a friend?"

"He's my best friend…"

"I don't like him." His tone was monotones and direct, dangerous and low.

"What? B-but you haven't even met him… he's a really nice guy." I was stammering as his nails dug in a little deeper, his chin resting atop mine as he continued to search my phone.

"Well, when can I meet him?" he asked and I wracked my brain, thinking of a good time for Riku to meet Axel. I've been dating Riku for just short of two months now, I think it's about time they met.

"Tomorrow. I'm meeting him and my other mates so you can meet them all at once. Sound good?" I asked, looking up at him as he grazed his lips across my forehead.

"I suppose so. But Roxas, remember one thing wont you…"

"Yeah Riku?"

He leaned forwards so that his lips were brushing against my ear, "Your mine." His voice was so cold it made me shiver and I watched him jump up and look at me. "I'm hungry; we're going to get something to eat." His voice was so demanding and abrupt. Don't get me wrong, I like it and I've grown used to it over the past two months. Riku never asks questions. He always talks in statements instead. I guess it's strange, but then again none of the people I talk to are actually normal huh?

"Okay" I chirped, jumping of the bench and following him as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the park and down a set of streets I haven't visited before, stopping outside of a pizza shop and turning to me.

"I need you to let go of me." Hr roughly pulled his hand away from my own and I looked up at him hurt. "Don't look at me like that Roxas. I just don't want these people thinking I'm…"

He faltered and I lowered my gaze, "Gay?"

He nodded and smiled, "Yes. I need this to be kept secret."

"By this…do you mean me? Riku…are you ashamed of me?"

I felt him grab my shoulder and pull me into an alley way, pushing me against the wall and giving me a heated kiss as his tongue darted into my mouth without my permission as he bit my bottom lip. I raised my hands and grabbed his shoulders lightly, beginning to relax before he pulled away, leaving me panting as he walked away and out of the alley. I stood there for a few seconds, panting as my brain became overloaded with information before I followed, stepping into the light as I watched Riku walk back out with a huge tray of cheesy chips.

"Didn't you get me anything?" I asked as my stomach grumbled. I had been so busy getting ready that I'd forgotten to eat anything…I guess I was just so nervous.

He looked up at me and blinked before he let out a burst of laughter, looking me up and down and sniggering. "You honestly think you need the calories Roxas? Tch, believe me, I'm doing you a favour."

I frowned, looking down at my torso and frowning…am I really that fat? I didn't think I was. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you aren't exactly the skinniest model on the catwalk. Don't tell me you didn't know. I'm surprised you can even see your toes." He started laughing again and I looked away, a little hurt as he walked past me, leaving me to follow behind him as he headed back to the park.

When we reached the entrance he threw his wrapper in the bin, still half full with chips as I watched it longingly. He turned to me and looked at me with his gorgeous turquoise eyes and I felt my heart beat in my chest dangerously loud as my palms began to sweat. "So Roxas," he pulled me lose and kissed me long and hard, his lips smashing into mine as he nibbled on my bottom lip again before he broke away, "I had a great time tonight." He stroked my hair and drew his fingers across my chin, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow night. But I've really got to go."

"Already?" I asked, looking down as he flashed me a mischievous grin.

"Yes. Now don't look so sad. I'll be back again tomorrow, and I can't wait to meet Axel." There was a spark in his eyes I couldn't quite place, and his nails were digging into me again. He gave me one last harsh kiss and passed me my phone before he began to walk in the opposite direction, waving back to me before he was engulfed by the park and I was left standing alone on the sidewalk.

I sighed, wishing he could stay longer as I found myself missing him already. I don't know what it is about Riku that attracts me so much. He's like chocolate, after you've had one bite you can't help but have more and more and for me Riku is the sweetest chocolate in the world. I sighed again and placed my headphones back into my ears, beginning my long walk home…

XXX

It was an hour before I got home, the door creaking open slowly as the darkness met me and engulfed me. I groaned, stepping inside and throwing my shoes into the corner, pulling of my jacket and folding it onto the back of the kitchen chair as I walked up to the fridge, pulling it open and pulling out a plate of food my mum had left me. I was about to warm it up in the microwave when Riku's words drifted back across my mind and I frowned, looking down at my stomach and growling. I walked over to the bin and scraped the food into it, looking down at the mushed food and swallowing the bile that crept up my throat as my stomach grumbled.

I put my plate in the sink and walked into the living room, flicking the TV on and relaxing as I pulled my phone out of my pocket, sighing as I looked at the six missed messages and two missed calls. The missed calls were of Sora and the texts were of Axel and Demyx…Why didn't Riku tell me that people wanted me? I started by calling Sora, he never rings me so it must have been important.

The phone rang for a few seconds before Sora picked up on the other side and I felt the smile come to my lips. "Hello?"

"_Hello? Roxas is that you? What the hell! Where have you been! Axel and Demyx said they've been trying to get in touch with you all night, but you weren't answering their texts and neither of the bum's have any credit."_

I winced as he shouted down the phone, "Sorry Sora, I was with Riku. I had my phone on silent so I must not have heard it or something."

"_As long as that's all it was. Are you okay? It's not like you not to answer your phone…"_

"Yeah I'm fine. I guess I just got carried away."

"_Okay, as long as your safe. Anyway I gotta go, talk to you soon bro. Remember to eat something, God alone knows your skinny enough as it is."_

I thought back to what Riku said earlier and frowned, "I've already eaten Sora, don't worry." There was the sound of giggling on the other end of the phone before it was hung up. I pulled the phone away from my ear and checked it…I guess Sora must have run out of credit to then huh? I smiled again before flicking over Axel's texts.

_**Axel** - Roxy you there? C'mon dude we need an answer, Laxrene is getting really pissy and if you don't hurry she'll down your beer. xxx_

_**Demyx** – Hey Roxas! Dude its Dem, you gonna get you ass over here or what? You know a party's not a party without you! Oh and Axel is worried about you to. X_

_**Demyx** – Okay Roxas this really isn't funny any more. What's going on? Sora said he can't get in touch with you neither. Axel is gonna get in a taxi and go looking for you in a minute. Just giz a text and let us know your okay dude, then I promise we'll leave you alone. x_

_**Axel** – Roxas where are you? I am on my way around to look for you so save me some money and tell me where you are. Sora said you're not at home and it's getting on for midnight. Where the heck are you? xxx_

_**Demyx** – Hi again, Sora said to keep texting you. I've lost Axel, he said he was going to go find you, but then he disappeared, he was pretty drunk to so I think he's probably crashed out somewhere on a bench. Er… look dude just giz a call as soon as you get this, okay? Cool x_

_**Axel** – Roxas this is not funny! I just spent my last twenty bucks trying to find you and I still couldn't. I swear I am going to kill Riku if anything has happened to you. Just please give me a call or a text. I just wanna know if you're okay. Thanks xxx_

I looked down at the last text and frowned, they stopped at one o'clock and it's getting on for three as it is…wow, time really does fly when you're having fun. I opened Demyx's name under my contacts and rang him first, but there was no answer after several minutes so I sent him a text letting him know I was alright instead. I then rang Axel and no sooner had the first ring ended then he picked up, "He-"

"ROXAS! What the hell! Where are you? Are you okay!"

"Axel I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm at home on my own."

There was the sound of heavy sighing on the other end and I winced at the sound of panic in his voice "Why the hell didn't you answer your phone! Sora said he couldn't find you and you wouldn't answer. I've dragged every one all over the city"

"I had it on silent, I didn't notice it was ringing until I got home and looked at it properly."

"Are you sure you're okay? Where's Riku?"

"He had to go, but I'm fine on my own Axel." I sniggered, "I'm a big boy now you know."

"Did he walk you home?"

"Yes." Another lie, but it wouldn't hurt would it?

"Good, are you sure you're okay? You don't want me to come and sit with you or nothing do you?"

I laughed a little, "No Axel, I'm fine. Just enjoy your night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay Roxas, just do me a favour and stay inside for the rest of the tonight. Just so I know you're safe."

"No problem Ax. See ya tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow Roxy so I can whip your butt in person for giving me a heart attack."

I laughed and hung up the phone, rolling over on the couch and watching the TV as a slimming advert flickered on. I couldn't help my thoughts trailing back to Riku's words earlier and I looked down at my stomach…now that I looked at it properly, it did seem kinda fat.


	3. To be punished

I woke dazedly, still slumped on the couch from the night before and still in the same clothes I was wearing yesterday. I guess I must have dozed of or something. There's an annoying light rapping somewhere that woke me up and it's driving me crazy, I just can't drown the sound out no matter what I do. Sighing, I got up of the couch, rubbing my sore back and heading for the source of the noise, which happens to be in the kitchen.

I entered slowly, unconsciously aware of the fact that it's almost dinnertime. I grabbed a pan from near the stove and made my way over to the rapping back door as the handle jiggled and moved erratically. I turned the key in the lock and threw the door wide; stepping out of the way and holding my pan high, ready to strike whoever was on the opposite side. I was just about to lower my weapon when a ball of bright bouncy brown spikes fell over the threshold, getting up and rubbing their nose as they stared at me with bright blue eyes. I sighed and relaxed my arms in relief, placing my pan on the side and helping the perpetrator, which happened to be Sora, up.

"What the hell was you gonna do with that?" Sora asked, pointing towards the pan and I grinned, smiling sheepishly.

"Er…heh, ya see…umm"

"Forget I asked," Sora laughed and I grinned with him as he walked past me and opened the fridge door, poking his head inside and rummaging about as I sat down at the table, rubbing my eyes and willing the sleep to drift from me. "I'm starving; did mom leave us out to eat?"

"Bottom shelf" I yawned, covering my mouth and shaking my head a little to try and wake myself up.

"Aha! Got it," he pulled his head out and looked at me. "You want anything? You look like you've just got up."

"I have. I'll have a coffee if you're offering." I mumbled, groaning and mulling over last night, I'm not really that hungry…I shouldn't eat if I don't have to, right? "How come you're back so late?"

He shrugged, "I got a little more than I expected."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I grinned, "No way, you mean you and Kairi-"

"Yep"

"And Namine?"

"Uh-huh"

"Xion too?"

"Of course little brother, of course. What can I say, I'm irresistible. The ladies love me" He smirked and I scoffed as he handed me my coffee. "It's dark, two sugars, and cream with a frothy topping, right?"

I laughed and nodded, "Right." He fisted the air and sat down opposite me, shovelling forkfuls of food into his mouth and swallowing without chewing. He really is like a living dustbin.

"Sooooo…" he said, a mouthful of beef, mash, carrots and pees obstructing his words as I drank deep from my cup of pleasure.

"Sooooo?" I repeated, lifting an eyebrow at him questioningly and he rolled his eyes at me.

"I told you about my night out, now you gotta tell me about yours. You went missing for ages, oh yeah that reminds me," he reached over the table and flicked my nose extremely hard.

"Ow! What the heck was that for Sora?" I asked, shuffling my nose about on my face and sniffing up as it throbbed lightly.

"That's from Kairi. She said she's never seen me so worried before and that you're not to do it again. Count yourself lucky, if she asks I punched you, okay?"

"Okay" I mumbled running my hands through my hair to try and untangle some of the knots.

"So what happened?" he asked again and I sighed, I guess there's no way I can avoid the question.

"Me and Riku went out for a bit to the park. We sat, talked, had something to eat and then he walked me home. My phone was on silent in my back pocket so I didn't hear it. No biggie." I had told Axel the same story more or less last night, and if Sora thinks I've eaten he wont badger me to have something later. I hate lying to them, but I've got no other options open to me at the minute.

He sighed and nodded, returning to the demolishing and devouring of his dinner which is now breakfast and we sat in silence for the next ten minutes, me lost in thought and Sora lost in food. Our silence was finally broken by the arrival of mom and dad who happily announced themselves as they walked into the house.

"We're home babies, anyone in?" Mom shouted, it's just like her to look for us straight away, but I cant help wondering where dad is.

"Where are you ya little monsters? I know you're in here I can see your shoes…strange, nothings broken…" And there's dad. I know he's only joking when he calls us monsters so it's okay; it's what he used to call us when we were little. Apparently we were little twin horrors.

Me and Sora shared a silent agreement in the kitchen right then and there that mom and dad would not know we went out at all last night, both of us nodding our heads in sync even though no words were spoken and I dashed to the door to intercept them while Sora scraped the last of his food into his mouth and dunked his plate in the sink, scrubbing faster than I have ever seen him scrub before. I flung the door open wide and beamed up as my mom, Tifa, smiled down at me, embracing me with both arms and showering me with kisses as I struggled and wiggled to escape her loving death vice of a grip. Behind her stood my dad, Cloud, bags, suitcases and boxes hanging of both of his arms as he smiled down on me, spiky blonde hair jutting up in all directions whereas mine is swept to a side and spiked. Both of our hair does that naturally and unfortunately Sora suffers the same curse.

"There you are munchkin, did you have a nice time while we were out? I hope you behaved yourself." Mom said, pinching my cheeks as I dodged away from her, grinning as Sora stepped out from the kitchen and mom turned to shower her kisses on him instead as he squabbled and pleaded, but mom was merciless.

"So…nothings damaged, nothings leaking, there's no fires, the tiles are still on the roof and the house is relatively clean…where were you both last night. I told you two not to go out." Dad said and I groaned, slapping my forehead as he raised an eyebrow at me, Sora avoiding the interrogation via moms' kisses.

"We were both here" I pointed at the ground, "All night dad, I swear it. Me and Sora stayed in, chilled and watched some bad movies is all. There was no need to destroy anything."

He "hmm"d and walked past me, into the living room where he proceeded to dunk all of the heavy boxes, bags and whatever else onto the floor, sighing and sinking deep into the couch with a groan before my mother walked in behind me and frowned down at him.

"Cloud Strife, that is not where our belongings belong, they should be in the bedroom." She put her hands on her hips and I laughed as my dad groaned.

"Sweetie, I'm tired. I've been heaving them things about all day-"

"Why did you even take all that stuff?" Sora asked and I found myself wondering the same thing as we both looked at them curiously, but my phone went of and I found myself distracted as I fished it out of my pocket, looking down at it and sighing as another missed call popped up.

"Ask your mother." Dad said, resting his head back against the couch and sighing and Sora turned his question onto her as I slipped out of the room quietly, going up the stairs and locking myself in my bedroom.

I pulled out a load of fresh clothes and got redressed, attempting to make myself look good and when I was finally happy with my appearance I nodded at the mirror and jumped on my bed. I unlocked my phone once more and winced as I looked at Riku's name flashing above the missed call, but before I rang him I checked my texts. I had three.

**Demyx – **_Okay Rox, cheers for lettin' me know dude. I'm glad you're okay. We're all meeting at three near the willow were we used to hang out; you know the one near the pond with the ducks. See ya there man. X _

**Axel –**_ Hey Roxy! Look I'm sorry if I yelled at you last night, I guess I was just panicking. You wanna go grab some ice cream or something, my treat. I'll even buy you that stupid sea-salt flavour you like. Giz a text back man and let me know xxx_

**Riku – **_Answer your phone. Now._

I gulped. Demyx and Axel seem like they're okay with what happened last night, I'll have to make sure to apologise in person too though. But Riku…I wonder what's up. I looked up at the clock and my wall and sighed at the time, one pm. I deftly texted Axel back, telling him I'd love to meet him for something to eat and that I'd see him at the clock tower in fifteen minutes. If Demyx said we're all meeting up at three then I wanna spend some quality time with just me and Axel…I've missed it.

I grabbed on a pair of my sneakers, picked up my cream jacket and ran out the door and down the stairs, walking into the living room where my dad was still sat sprawled out on the couch, Sora sat on the chair opposite him as they talked about the latest football match or something. I dunno, I wasn't really listening. "Dad I'm going out, I'll be back for eight"

"You'll be back for six thirty and no later." He grumbled, eyes closed as Sora looked at me worriedly so I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him, smiling as he imitated me. "Knock it of, I know what your doing even if my eyes aren't open."

I laughed slightly, "But dad, can't I come back for seven thirty? All my friends get to stay out late, even Sora."

"Hey! Leave me outta this." Sora grumbled, getting up to help mom in the kitchen as she shouted for him to assist her. God alone knows what with.

"I said no Roxas and that's final. Make sure your butt is in this house by six thirty or I'll be kicking it all next week, got it?"

Life is so unfair. "Whatever" I grumbled, pulling on my jacket and walking out of the house as my dad shouted behind me, "I mean it Roxas! Don't make me come get you!"

I sighed, closing the door behind me and sticking my headphones in again, grabbing my skateboard from beside the door (I always leave it stashed behind the plant pot). I jumped on it and cruised down the path, dodging people as they walked past me, ducking, diving and weaving, doing small tricks I had learned to increase my speed as I crossed the zebra crossing, waving at the cars as they let me pass and grinning. I loved my skateboard almost as much as I loved drawing; they let me be free and creative. To feel the brush of the wind in my hair as I race it down the sidewalk gives me such a thrilling buzz…dad always said I'd make a good racing driver because I'm not afraid of speed. Sora always says the day dad lets me get a licence is the day he's condemned him to death…he may not be wrong. Just kidding, I'd never run over Sora…not and kill him anyway.

I stopped outside the clock tower and pulled my phone out, stopping my music and pulling my earphones out as I glanced through my texts, two this time.

**Axel – **_Cool __I can't wait, it's a date ;) see ya there Roxy. I'll bring your treat with me. Xxx _

**Riku – **_You're getting on my nerves._

I sighed again. I know I haven't texted Riku back yet, but it's because I miss spending time with Axel. I mean, I still have to break it to Axel that Riku will be hanging with us today…how do I break that to him? I swear that black rain cloud must just love following me about. I stamped on the end of my skateboard and picked it up when it flew into the air with practiced ease, running up the stairs two at a time. Axel would cheer me up, he always cheered me up.

I took the elevator to the top floor and then climbed the fire exit steps to the roof, shutting the door behind me cautiously as I tiptoed around the side, attempting to scare Axel as I placed my skateboard on the side quietly, peering around the corner before I stepped out from behind it confused. It's empty…there's no one there. I stepped out and wandered forward, looking on the floor for any sign of evidence that Axel had been there, it could be possible that we crossed each other on my way up, but no. There's none. I stared down at my phone confused, rereading his last text and frowning, scratching my head wearily as I looked up and across at the sky line….

"RA!"

"AHHHHHHH! AXEL!" I turned to find the red head laughing, clutching his stomach as he cackled wickedly after sneaking up on me and almost giving me a heart attack, two pop sickles clutched tightly in his left hand as he stammers and stutters, trying to get his words out but failing as he looked at me one more time and burst into a new fit of laughter. I couldn't help it, his laugh was contagious and before I knew it I found myself laughing with him as he leaned on me for support. Both of us giddy at nothing.

The last few laughter bubbles escaped my lips and I looked out over the horizon, sitting down on the edge of the clock tower and Axel sat next to me, handing me a stick of ice cream and I grinned, it's sea-salt flavour, Axels most hated flavour and my favourite…I don't know why, but he always gets the same as me, even though he hates it.

"Axel why do you always get the same flavour as me? I mean, you hate sea-salt flavour, right?" I turned to him, licking my treat lightly as he frowned and looked away, rubbing the back of his head and shrugging.

"I just always figured it would be easier. It beats having to wait twice as long right?"

"That doesn't make any sense" I mumbled, looking away from him and he sighed.

"It's okay Rox, it don't matter. It's just a habit." He smiled at me and I smiled back, nodding and grinning. "Anyway, I still have to kick your arse for worrying me last night." He laughed and I smirked.

"Any excuse huh Axel?"

"You know me Rox, you're just so fine"

We both started laughing again before a comfortable silence set in. I went to put my hand down and it brushed against Axel's lightly so I quickly retracted it, blushing madly and sighing as I swung my legs over the side of the clock tower. "Hey Axel?"

"Hm?"

"Would you catch me? If I fell?"

He sat up from where he had been lazily leaning back against the clock wall. "Of course I would…" he looked at me cautiously. "Roxas, don't do it man. Whatever the problem is we can wok it out, dude it's just ice cream, if you don't like the flavour we can always take it back."

"Huh?" I retracted the conversation and replayed it in my mind. "Oh no, I didn't mean that" I started laughing and he sighed, grinning at me as he walked over and clapped me on the shoulder, sitting next to me and leaning on me heavily.

"Good, because as sad as it is you're stuck with me…" he leaned in close to my ear and I felt his whispered breath ghost across my flesh, "for eternity." It gave me goose bumps, not bad ones, nice little prickly ones and I shoved him away playfully.

"Don't scare me like that Axel, you know how much of a horrible monster you are." We both started laughing again and I grinned, I had really missed this.

"Yeah true, but seriously Rox. Of course I would catch you, no matter how high the fall. If I could I'd take it for you. No matter what the problem is Rox, I'm right here. I'll help you with anything."

"Woah, serious heart to heart moment." I sniggered and he frowned

"I was being serious Roxy" he appeared hurt so I nudged him lightly on the shoulder.

"I know, I know. Don't worry Ax, you're still my number one friend, and you always will be. I'd take your word over anybody else's." I was trying to cheer him up, and I meant every single word I said, but he still seemed a little hurt when I said friend, but he tried to hide it behind his smile. Not that it worked or anything.

"Is that a promise Rox?" He asked and I nodded.

"Of course, I promise Axel. You're my best friend, nothing will change that."

He sighed and I finished of my ice cream, chewing on the stick and humming as Axel finished his and smiled at me, flashing me a toothy grin. I was about to ask what was so funny when my phone started vibrating again, the sensation weird in my back pocket as I pulled it out and saw Riku's name flash across the screen. I winced slightly; I guess ignoring him was a bad idea. "It's Riku" I said to Axel and he rolled his eyes and walked of, stamping his feet and swearing colourfully as I answered the phone and held it to my ear cautiously, as if it might bite me.

"Hello?"

"_Roxas. You never answered my texts."_

It was a statement, not a question and I immediately felt remorse for what I had done. Was it wrong of me for wanting to spend some time with Axel? I guess so. "Yeah, sorry. I've just been so busy and everything yano. I mean my parents got back today an-"

"_Your lying to me." _

"Huh? No I'm not. Honestly, my parent's only just got ba-"

"_No. Your lying about being busy. Where are you?"_

"Ummm" I looked to Axel as he watched me angrily, his arms folded as he turned his head and glared out at the sun. "I'm at home with Sora, we're both-"

"_Liar! I know exactly where you are Roxas" _The phone hung up and I stared at it worriedly, "Because I followed you all the way out here."

I turned around, my breath held still in my throat as I looked towards my boyfriend, my beautifully hypnotic boyfriend. His eyes were ablaze, fiery turquoise opals that seemed to dance with rage as he stared at me. I swallowed deep and grinned sheepishly.

"Hey Riku." I waved and watched as he ignored me completely and turned to Axel instead.

"Who are you?" he asked, his voice was cold and dark. I've never seen this side to him before; he's always sweet and gentle.

"My names Axel. I'm Roxas' best friend, and from what I can gather your Riku right? Nice to meet you." Axel held out his hand and I smiled. I'm so grateful that Axel isn't doing what he said he would do (which is kick the shit out of Riku). It's nice to know that he'd do anything for me, even get along with someone he despises for no reason other than the fact that they're going out with me.

Riku didn't take Axel's hand. Instead he pushed it away and turned to me. "Get up, we're leaving."

"What? But Riku I just got here." I watched as Axel retracted his hand, his fists shaking at his side and I stood up, standing between them both warily.

"No. You've been here for half an hour. I have somewhere special I want to take you. You're coming with me. I'll give you three minutes to say goodbye to" he looked Axel up and down and grinned maliciously, "_Axel_"

And then he left, leaving me and Axel standing there alone as Axel stared at the wall infuriated. "Axel…" My voice was a whisper, that was not how I wanted them to meet.

"I can't believe it Roxas. Now you try telling me he's not a jerk. Why are you with him? He's such a controlling asshole!"

"Axel don't talk about Riku that way. He's really nice; you just haven't seen the side of him I have yet. Give him a chance-"

"Are you kidding me Roxas, the guy told you to go, he didn't ask Roxas he told you. What kind of a loving boyfriend does that?"

"It's only because he has somewhere to take me!"

"Roxas" I watched as he shook his head and his shoulders deflated, "Why can't you see it?"

"Because there's nothing to see Axel. Please Axel, please give him another chance. I've got to go…I'll see you at three near the pond with the others, kay?"

He nodded and embraced me strongly, holding onto me for ages before my phone vibrated and I pulled it out of my pocket, sighing at Riku's name as it flashed across my screen.

**Riku – **_move_

I looked back to Axel and gave him one last brief hug before I descended the clock tower once more, sighing when I reached the bottom of the building. I trudged outside and looked upwards, Axel was at the top, staring down on me and all I could see was a blip of red that I presumed was his red hair. It's funny, we used to be so close together and now we're so far apart. Just like right now, it seems we're drifting. I don't want that to happen.

I felt someone grab my arm roughly and turned to find Riku besides me, also looking up as he stared at the red dot. His grip around my wrist was painful, and the longer I looked up the tighter his grip grew, his fingers twisting my skin until I winced and asked him to let go, but he ignored me and began walking away, dragging me with him as I struggled to keep up. We walked through the busy crowd, pushing past them until we came across some deserted alleys and Riku took me inside them, darting left and right until finally he stopped and slammed me up against a wall.

"Riku whats-"

"Do not play innocent with me Roxas. What was that all about? I warn you, I hate liars." He looked at me expectantly and I frowned, what's going on?

"I was just hanging out with Axel, we're friends is all." I said, it was the truth after all. All I wanted to do was go and see Axel.

"Wrong answer."

I felt it before I saw it; Riku leaned in close to me, silencing me with his mouth and at first I thought it was just a sweet gestured kiss, until I felt the blow hit me in the stomach and I winced, Riku biting down on my bottom lip hard until blood began to flow as he pinned me at the wall. He pulled away from my lips briefly and I groaned, feeling dizzy as the pain in my stomach mingled with the lack of food made me feel sick.

"Shh Roxas, shhhh" I heard him whisper into my ear as he stroked my hair, but unlike the soft goose bumps I got from Axel's hot whisper I got piercing hot spikes from Riku's…I didn't like it. "It'll all be over soon, I promise. Why did you make me do this Roxas?"

"Wha-"

His lips came crashing down on to mine again before I even had a chance to form a sentence and I knew what was coming next before I saw it. I began to struggle, moving like mad and attempting to scream. But my voice was swallowed by his mouth, his teeth biting down harder into my skin to the point where I winced and he pinned me harder with his body, the blows coming harder and faster into my stomach until he finally stopped and pulled away, smirking down on me and panting.

My shoulders slumped and I slid down the wall, holding my stomach and cradling it gently as blood flowed from my lip, down my jaw and I quickly wiped it away. I couldn't move, it hurt to breath and thinking had become a real struggle. I looked up at Riku and his smiling face and he knelt next to me.

"I told you Roxas. I don't like Axel. And you're mine. I love you"

I winced, the tears falling down my cheeks as I coughed and spat blood out a little way away from me. "Bu-"

His lips were on me again and I froze, scared that the fists would follow, but they didn't and I relaxed a little, flinching as he licked my bloody wound with his tongue, tasting the copper and devouring my life's blood. "No buts Roxas. You're mine. Consider this a warning; don't make me punish you again."

And then he was gone, his fading footsteps the only thing that noted me that he had left. I was too scared to move, so I sat for a long time, curled up and alone in the dark alley as I rubbed my stomach tentatively. It hurt to touch and it hurt to move. I'm panting and every breath feels like I'm swallowing a hot knife. I feel sick, my head is spinning and all I want to do in the whole wide world is go home and have a shower, but I have to get home first. I slowly placed my hand behind me on the wall, hauling myself to my feet carefully and doubling over as when I straightened out the pain was unbearable, forcing me to hunch over. The only thing I can think about is getting home and sleeping this day away, I don't want to go and see my friends now, not anymore.

I looked around for my skateboard and flinched again when I remembered where it was. It's back on the clock tower, with Axel…

So I left it there and walked home instead.

* * *

There you have it guy's, I hope you all enjoyed it :) Thankyou to everyone who reviewed. It got me all chuffed up to see so many people alerted, faved and reviewed this story. Forgive any mistakes in this chapter, I have not proof read it. But if something is really wrong or annoying let me know and I will change it :)

**chichi - :O how can she not know ? You must show her at once and spread the yaoi love (not in a gross way or nothing, just let her read a few stories from this site and then she has to love it too cu****z some of the stories on this site are amazing :D) I envy anyone with an AkuRoku birthday :(**

**Nalah- Thankyou :) You are one of my favourite people. I'm glad that you** **like this story and Riku's character. It's hard to write him as a bad guy cuz he's so adorable :) but I am glad you like. And don't worry everything I said on my profile is true. I can't not plan a story, it just doesn't feel right :3**


	4. The fib

I stood outside of my house, my fingers brushing against the door handle lightly as I traced its fine gleaming edge with my numb fingers. My lip has stopped bleeding now and it's crusted over and crystallised, becoming itchy and dry in the process. From the stares I've been getting on my long walk home I know it's hideous and probably big to, and I have to come up with an excuse before I can enter the house. Obviously my parents will have questions, no doubt Sora will too, but what am I supposed to say to them? That Riku, the love of my life, beat me up and bit me for not answering my phone and lying to him? No. That would just cause trouble; I've done enough of that. Besides, Riku sounded so sincere and sorry when he'd finished, transforming back into the sweet Riku I know and love…I'm facing a raging battle between my heart and my head and it seems my heart is winning. I want to protect Riku, no matter what.

So with an excuse ready and waiting I slowly pushed the door open, gulping and swallowing the thickness that had appeared in my suddenly enflamed throat, the sweat in my palms increasing until they were slick with moisture. The hallway was dark considering it was still daylight outside and I threw my shoes of and put them at the side of the door again, looking up and trying my hardest to control my jittering nerves as my body began to tremble with a mixture of fear and anxiety. I took my chance and headed straight for the stairs whilst the silence settled below, my footsteps creaking with each and every step as I hunched up my shoulders and proceeded on my tiptoes. One step…two steps…three steps…fo-

"Roxas? Roxas is that you?" I groaned inwardly when Sora's voice trailed closer and closer to me as he exited the kitchen. I looked back up the stairs longingly before I turned my head slightly, just enough for me to look over my shoulder and see his tuft of brown spikes, but not enough for him to see what I presumed to be the ugly red mess that was stuck to the left side of my face…

"Oh, heh, yeah. Um hi Sora, just going for a, you know" I nodded back up the steps and began walking forward again. Maybe if I can get this mess cleaned up it wont look so bad. "A shower."

"Wait a minute…" I froze, my breath quickening as I grabbed the banister for support, the air around me becoming stuffy and cramped as the narrow stairway seemed to cave in around me, the room becoming dizzy and spinning as it threatened to force me to throw up. He couldn't possible know could he? "Mom and dad went out," I turned to look over my shoulder again and saw him lean against the railings at the bottom of the steps, crossing his legs over one another and stretching, "I thought you'd be staying out to so I er…I invited a friend over."

He coughed and blushed, and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. He must have the hot's for Kairi real bad if he's bringing her home, he's never brought anyone home before. I laughed and immediately felt the tension drip away from my shoulders, "Sorry Sora, I'm staying in tonight." I didn't have to turn around to know he's confused, his eyes brows are probably furrowed and he'll have that small upside down wrinkle on his face that always appears near his nose when he's unsure of something. He's so predictable.

"How come?"

"Just cuz…" I began to climb up the steps again, my nerves rocketing as Sora grew nearer to the question I desperately didn't want to answer. I'm grateful mom and dad aren't home, but I'd rather have them here than Sora. At least I can lie to them; Sora some how always manages to tell when I'm lying…it's probably because we grew up together.

I felt his hand reach out and grab my wrist and he held it softly. When he spoke it was full of curiosity and mischief, as if he thinks I have some big secret to tell him. I do, but I don't. I have a secret, but I won't tell him. His words are teasing when they next come from his mouth, lolling of his tongue as he tries to get a bite out of me. "Cuz why?" I rolled my eyes and turned to face him slightly, still hiding my punishment from his view. I was about to speak when he cut me of again, grinning broadly as he wiggled his eyes at me. "Is it Axel? Has he finally done it?"

I stopped, frozen in my place as I mulled over his words, frowning as I looked down at the steps, suddenly very interested in the wood flooring and the chip that occupies it. Mom won't be happy with that. "Has Axel finally done what?" I asked. I'm genuinely interested as to what my brother has to say this time, normally I just ignore him.

He scoffed at me and smiled, "Don't pretend you don't know Roxas. Has he done it yet? Has he asked you?"

"Sora I'm not kidding. Has he asked me what? Seriously, if you're not gonna tell me will you let me go?" I yanked at my wrist but he held fast, the look of confusion plastered to his face again.

"You mean he really hasn't asked you? I was so sure he would have done it by now…I wonder what he's waiting for."

"Seriously Sora, this is getting old." I tapped my foot lightly on the wood and he shook his head and frowned.

"It doesn't matter; it's for Axel to say, not me. So how come your home early?" he pulled on my wrist and began to drag me further down the steps and I clung to the banister as if it could save my life from the lie I was about to utter.

"Huh? Oh, Axel, he umm…he er had something to err…do." I grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of my head while he looked at me like he thought I was stupid. At the minute I'm feeling the exact same way.

"Uh-huh. You gonna tell me the truth now?" he pulled on my wrist again and I clinged to the banister harder, digging my nails into the wood as I held on tight.

"That is the truth. Reno wanted him home because he had chores to do and he wasn't doing them for him again." the lie burst from my lips before I could even register it fully in my mind and I immediately regretted brining both Reno and Axel's names into this fiasco of a predicament I've found myself in.

"Uh-huh…Roxas come down stairs. I want to talk to you for a minute." He said and his grasp on my arm tightened ever so slightly.

"Cant it wait? I really wanna go have a shower-"

"You don't smell that bad. I'm sure I can survive a few more minutes with you and your terrible odour. Now get your butt down here before I drag it down." I held fast, wishing against hope that he would let me go, but Lady Luck has been frowning on me lately, and I'm not in her good books yet. The tug on my wrist was harder this time and I couldn't hold on anymore as my bruised abdomen screamed beneath the bruising flesh. I winced, felt my grip get ripped from the wood and I bumped face first into Sora, both of us toppling over to end in a crash at the bottom of the stairs.

I raised myself up and groaned, looking down on Sora as he groaned beneath me and rubbed the back of his head. And then his eyes rested on my face and he gasped, both of his hands coming up to rest on my cheeks as he sat up in a flurry of movements, squishing my face the way a grandmother might do to a favoured grandchild. He pressed hard unintentionally and I winced, attempting to push him of me but he just batted my arms away. "Roxas what happened! You look as if you got smacked in the face with a bat! Who did this? Was it Seifer? I swear I'll-"

He was worried, I could tell and I already had my lie readily formed and waiting. It scared me how easily it dripped from my lips. "Nobody did it Sora, not unless you count me getting smacked in the face by the concrete."

"The concrete?" He let go of my cheeks and winced when he looked at my wound properly. I haven't seen it yet and it went numb a long time ago…is it really that bad? He grabbed my arm again, gentler this time, and he led me through to the kitchen; pulling out a chair and letting me sit in it while he tottered around below the kitchen sink. "Explain."

It wasn't a question and I sighed. Looks like my small white lie is about to get its first mouthful of growth. "I was on my way back from the clock tower. Me and Axel had said goodbye near the roundabout on Third and I was skating past the woods. You know, the ones we used to play in when we were little," he nodded as he rummaged and I continued, "I was attempting a new trick on the path and I didn't see the rock and I flew of, landing face down on the ground" I shrugged and blew of the lie as if it were nothing. "That's it."

He looked back at me from over his shoulder and sighed, returning to me and sitting on the table after he filled a bowl with lukewarm water, a bag of cotton buds in is other hand. "And that's it is it?" He raised an eyebrow at me and tilted my head his way, looking over the wound and grimacing as he dampened the first cotton wool and began clearing away the crusted blood.

I winced and jerked my head away, but he pulled my head back and swatted me on the back of the head. "That's it" I groaned. It's an awful lie, but it's the best I could come up with.

He nodded silently and continued clearing the filth away. "So where's your skateboard?"

"I lost it in the bushes. It was pretty densely vegetated where I was practicing."

"You would have thought that after all the times dad had told you not to practice unless you were wearing a helmet you would have started to listen-"

"How would a helmet protect my face?" I asked and he laughed.

"I dunno. You can ask dad when him and mom come home later on tonight."

"I can't believe they've gone out again…where are they this time?" I sighed and he laughed, grabbing my jaw roughly when I yelped and pulled away when he pushed down too hard.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just this wound. It looks as if it's been punctured by something" he paled and I felt my heart bump faster. "…Roxas, these look like teeth marks."

I swallowed thickly and laughed lightly, the sound coming out like a nervous wreck. "I guess I must have bit my lips when I fell. You know how much of a klutz I am Sora."

"Yeah, but never on a skateboard Roxy. You're always so perfect and practiced, you haven't fallen of since you were ten" he laughed and I grinned, smiling fondly back on memories.

"People make mistakes." I said, hoping he would buy my answer and sighing when he nodded. That was a good enough acceptance for me, but I still needed to change the subject again. Fast. "So mom and dad, where are they again?"

"They popped out to go see Leon and Yufi for a while. Apparently Leon proposed the other day or something. I dunno, but they're all having a party at their place tonight." He dampened the cotton wool in the bowl and continued his sweeping across my face, the water turning a radiant pink as the blood began to bleach it the colour of pink roses. "Mom said I couldn't go, we both got invites too, but because we're not eighteen we cant go."

I could tell he was disappointed, him and Yufi are great friends and Leon is my dad's best friend. But I'm not surprised that he isn't alowed to go. The last time him and Yufi got together there was no stopping them, it took dad and Leon six hours to track them both down. And as for why I can't go…I guess it's because I wasn't in at the time. "Bummer" I utter and he laughs and switches cotton wool, wincing when he pulls a nasty clump of blood away from my lower lip and I flinched away, yelping when it was peeled of.

"Sorry Rox, but it's gotta come of bro." He attacked my face once more and we sat in silence, Sora sitting above me with his tongue stuck out in concentration as I mulled over my thoughts of Riku, Axel and the others. But the silence didn't last long as my phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my back pocket, attempting to raise it to my ear before Sora snatched it away, telling me to sit still as he held my phone between his shoulder and his ear, one hand resting on my jaw to keep it steady as the other continued swiping across my face, bringing pain with each stroke.

"Hey! This is Sora, you've reached Roxy's mobile, state your business and name your pleasure….huh? Oh hi Dem, no he's here I'm just fixing him up hang on I'll put you on loud speaker." I watched as my devious brother placed my phone on the table and clicked it onto loud speaker, the silent din in the room immediately becoming covered by the static before Demyx's voice exploded around me.

_Hello? Roxy? Sora? You guy's there? _

I watched as Sora picked out a fresh cotton bud. I can't believe how long this is taking; I guess it must have been worse than I thought. No wonder people were staring at me. "Hey Dem it's Roxa-Oww! Sora what the hell?" I rubbed the back of my head where the sharp slap had been placed and groaned.

"Stop talking Roxas, you're making more blood flow, this is hard enough as it is. Just keep still and be quiet okay?" I mumbled a load of curses and he gave me the death glare…I immediately shut up.

"_Whoa! What? Blood! What's happened? Are you guys okay?"_ Demyx sounded panicked on the other end of the line and I felt a pang of sorrow stab through my heart. I hate it when any of my friends are upset…it just doesn't suit them.

"We're fine Dem. Roxas just got into a little skateboarding accident and gave his face a bit of first hand cosmetic surgery using a concrete block. I'm patching him up now."

"_Roxas in a skateboarding accident? Those words don't even belong in the same sentence dude. You sure it was our Roxy and you're not just patching up some hobo?"_

"Trust me Dem, a hobo wouldn't smell this bad." I glared at Sora when he said that and sighed, watching the ruby red liquid that was once a clear and crystal blue. There was laughing on the other end of the line and I winced as I looked at the time on the wall opposite me…its four pm. I forgot to ring my friends and let them know I couldn't make it. I guess I just got so caught up in Riku that I forgot all about them.

"_I guess that means that it must be our Roxy huh? HEY ROXY! GET BETTER SOON! WE SEND YOU LOTS OF KISSES AND A THOUGHTFUL CARD IS BEING SENT TO YOU TELEPATHICALLY! I WOULD USE THE POST LIKE A NORMAL PERSON BUT THE MAILMAN STEALS MY LETTERS FOR BUTT ROLL!" _

I winced at the shouting on the other end and both me and Sora started laughing together, the sound long since missed in the empty kitchen as Sora finally dropped the cotton buds into the bin and sighed, emptying the red water down the sink and rinsing the bowl before he left me to search the living room, mumbling something about covering up. I picked up the phone, removed the loudspeaker and placed it at my ear.

"Hey Demyx, you there?"

"_No this is Phillip…"_ I waited for a long time before the giggles started, _"Of course it's me dude. What happened to you? I thought you were coming down not falling down. So are you pretty gross or what dude?" _

I sighed, it was just like Demyx. "Well, Sora managed to get four bloody cotton buds out of one lip so I think it was pretty bad."

"_Dang! Bummer dude, oh hang on Axel wants to talk to you because he's too much of a stingy bum to get some credit for his own phone. Seriously Axel, what's the point in having a phone you're never gonna have any credit for?" _There was the sound of rustling and I laughed until Axel's deep melodic voice appeared on the other end of the line and the butterflies in my stomach were let loose.

"_Roxy is that you?"_

"Yeah it's me Axel." I found myself smiling at nothing and the tension on my shoulders lifted immediately.

"_What the fuck do you think you're playing at!" _The whisper was hash and I felt as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over my rising heart. "_Roxas what's going on? I know what happened to you isn't a skateboarding. I have your god damn skateboard back at mine and you were fine when you left…tell me the truth Roxas." _

I groaned, I had forgotten all about my left behind skateboard and Axel… "It was just an accident; I'll explain tomorrow when I see you properly."

"_Accident? What accident"_

"Please Axel I'll explain it tomorrow. Just don't mention anything to the others, alright? I just need to get my head straight, please." I was practically begging him down the phone before Sora came back and I heard Axel's deep sigh, the one that gave me small tiny dancers of pleasure and I was so entranced I didn't know Sora had thrown me the cream until it hit me in the head and he rolled his eyes at me whilst smiling, shoving some popcorn into the microwave and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Roxas why don't you go out tonight? I mean, you don't look _that_ bad and I'm sure all your friends will want to see your battle injury." He sniggered and I stuck my tongue out at him. "Besides, I'd be grateful if I could have the house to myself tonight."

"You mean to yourself and Kairi?" I smiled as he blushed a deep crimson and made a mental note to lock my bedroom door before I went out. I turned back to the phone in my hand and coughed a little, "hey Axel, will you meet me near our spot? It looks like I'm coming out tonight after all."

"_You hear that guy's? Roxy's on his way! I'll be there in five minutes" _I laughed as the sound of cheers and whoops exploded through the end of the phone before I hung up and Sora grinned while pulling his popcorn out of the microwave after the resounding _BEEP_.

"Sounds like you were missed" he laughed, "Go on, skip your shower and get gone. I'll keep an eye on the house."

"You mean you'll keep your eye on the bedroom" I laughed and he flicked a piece of popcorn at me, laughing when I caught it between my teeth and winking.

"Whatever Rox, remember to put that cream on before you go out, it'll stop your lips cracking."

I smiled, nodding and applying the contents to my sore, bruised lips before I heard my phone vibrate and I only just managed to save it before it dived of the table and committed suicide. Scrolling through my phone I stopped at my inbox and looked down at Riku's name, a cold pleasure running through me as his name flashed across my screen.

I opened it.

**Riku – **_I am sorry about earlier on, but you made me do it. You are forbidden to go out for the rest of the night; I will come for you tomorrow morning. We're going out. Try and make an effort, you looked disgusting today. I hope you learned something from today's little lesson and you will try harder to please me in the future. Don't make me come and get you again Roxas. I love you. _

I frowned, what did he mean I was forbidden? He didn't own me or nothing right? Maybe he's joking. I felt a pang of pain come to my bruised lips as I touched them and a sweep of defiance broke through me. To hell with Riku, I'm going out.

* * *

There you go guys :) I have not proofread it so don't shoot me, but if something is wrong let me know and I'll change it. Thankyou all so much for all of the reviews and alerts as well as the faves. They mean a lot to me. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know there isn't a lot of Riku in this chapter, but just wait for the bomb that's ready to go of in the next one, i promise if you're not blown away I will give you a free sea-salt ice cream with cookies :)

**Nalah - I know what you mean. I'm quite proud of this chapter, even though it is one of my worst ones in context bbecause of what happens. I'm so glad that you give peopel heart attacks over my stories :) it is like a weird accomplishment in a way. I'm super excited that you look forward to the next updates in my story and I'm glad you think that Riku works in this. It's a relief to know cuz I was kind of worried this story would be rejected for that reason cuz so many people love him (but what's not to love right) **

**THANKYOU ALL FOR REVIEWING :D**


	5. Caught Out

I walked down Fifth Avenue as fast as I could without running, the bruises on my ribs aching beneath my white shirt as I rushed to meet Axel. For some reason it feels as if I haven't seen him in forever, even though I know I only just saw him earlier on today. Sora reminded me to be home for half six again as that's when mom and dad are supposed to be home, he said he'll prepare them for the whole accident thing, but I've still gotta obey dad's orders. As usual. I'm not complaining or anything, two and a half hours is more than enough time to see my friends and after the day I've had I think an hour or two with the gang will work wonders.

I crossed the road and walked down the street with my head held down, staring at the floor and becoming interested in the concrete pavement as people stared and pointed when I walked past. Someone really should tell them it's rude to point. But I haven't got the heart to mention it, besides, I deserve it right?

"Mommy why does that boy have a black lip? It looks angry" I glanced at the small girl that was walking past me, clutching her mothers hand tightly and I smiled down at her as she watched me with large brown eyes, blonde pig tails held in place by pink bobbles. I quickly stopped smiling as my bottom lip began to sting and I could taste the copper threatening to explode within my mouth.

"Don't point Marie, that boy is obviously trouble. Come along." Her mother pulled her away faster and held her hand tighter and I flinched, lifting the collar of my jacket further about myself and returning my eyes back down to the floor, I'm not trouble. Honest I'm not.

I kept my eyes fixated on the floor until I reached the destination I had agreed to meet Axel at, lifting my gaze briefly to glance about. He wasn't there, not yet anyway and I found myself sitting on the brick wall that lined the abandoned church as I waited. Time seemed to still as I watched my foot kick the pebbles of the pavement and on to the road, sighing heavily and looking about wearily from time to time. I don't know why, but I'm really nervous, and kind of, well…scared. Not of Axel or my friends, or even Sora and my parents. I'm scared that Riku will catch me. What if he finds me sitting here when he told me not to go out? I don't want another punishment, I want to please him. To make him happy.

I made my mind up to go home, forgetting about my friends in my haste not to be spotted by Riku. I stood up, brushed the dirt away from my knees and set of back the way I hade came. Until I felt a soft hand rest lightly on my shoulder and a gentle squeeze began to turn me around. I froze, looking over my shoulder nervously as I gulped, waiting to see Riku's shiny silver hair and his beautiful turquoise eyes, but instead I came face to face with an immense fiery red mane and dazzling emerald orbs, a heart melting smile gracing pale lips. "Hey Roxy, you giving up on me?"

I grinned, forgetting my worries within seconds as Axel laughed and pulled me in for a tight hug, practically crushing my bones as he wrapped his strong arms around me. I felt so happy and safe in that moment, so at peace and alive with over bursting confidence and belief in myself. "No way Axel, I'd never give up on you." I meant each and every word.

He was still holding on to me tight, his nose and chin buried in my hair and I found myself breathing in his scent. Cinnamon and fresh cut grass that's freshly covered in sparkling wet dew, that's what Axel smells like. His aroma is so fresh and sweet, the perfect essence of summer. And for some strange reason I found myself longing to taste it, to feel his skin and all his perfection against my lips. But I didn't do anything, Axel's straight and besides that he's my best friend. He just doesn't see me in that way, that's why I'm with Riku, my sweet perfect Riku who would never hurt me unless I needed correcting. "You sure Roxy, cuz it looked like you was just about ready to be going home."

He laughed, breaking me out of my trance and pulling me away from him as I stated to giggle with him. And then he lookedme up and down, holding me at arms length and sucking in a deep breath, letting out a low hiss as his laughing eyes suddenly became serious, fixing themselves upon my punishment and I felt the heat invade my face, all of my confidence leaving me as I looked down at the floor. I was ashamed. He rested his fingers beneath my chin and I felt the gentleness of his touch, a softness and tenderness I haven't ever experienced before and it sent shivers of joy through me. He lifted my head and looked me in the eyes, and I found myself unable to look away from the sadness that was shimmering through his own. His fingers left my chin and cupped my cheek instead, a hand resting on either side of my face as he stroked my skin with his thumbs. It felt nice.

"What happened to you Roxy? Who did this to you?" his voice was a whisper, a soft trembling whisper and I bit back the tears that threatened to spill from me. My heart ached for me to shout out the truth, to scream from the top of my lungs that it was Riku, the boy I was in love with. But how can I? He's my everything, and I'm his. I can't betray him like that, not even to Axel. No, my secret is mine alone, and I must bury it with me for the sake of my lover. So I bit my tongue and stayed silent. "Please Roxy, please let me help you. What happened? It wasn't a skating accident, your skateboards at mine. Why are you lying to everyone? Who are you trying to protect?"

I flinched away from his touch, suddenly feeling cold. "It was nothing Axel; I just took a wrong turn and ended up in a scuffle. That's all." I felt sick. The lies were dripping from my mouth like poison and I was able to keep the river flowing, unable to stop the tide as the words stumbled from my mouth.

"A scuffle? You mean you, Sora's little brother and one of Cloud's prestigious sons, got into a scrap with someone? No way Roxas, I'm not buying it. Everyone knows you and Sora are untouchable. Everyone from around here anyway…" I flinched again as his voice trailed of and he stopped and stared at me, his eyes going wide and his mouth hanging open as he lowered his hands from my face, forming them into fists as he closed his eyes, small shakes wracking his frame as he gritted his teeth.

I lowered my gaze back to the floor and looked away ashamed again. He was right; everyone knew my dad was a leading military officer back in his day, one of the highest ranks in his squadron's station. And they all know that me and Sora are his kids. So I guess, in a way, we are sort of untouchable. Sort of. But Riku doesn't know that…

"It was him wasn't it!" I closed my eyes and waited with baited breath, my shoulders tense as I waited for the inevitable, there was no question in my mind that this was it, that Axel would mention Riku's name and I would be forced to- "It was Seifer wasn't it? I swear I am going to pound him into the ground this time, he's gone too far!" I looked up, confused as Axel ranted a series of curses to Seifer, promising him an early death with an open grave for the crows to pick at while his swollen corpse was on display, and I frowned. Seifer? Sure I had had a few run in's with Seifer, but Seifer was the school bully, who hadn't faced a problem with him?

"Yeah, Seifer did it. I didn't want to say anything to anyone because I didn't want any of you to worry. It's been dealt with, I promise." As soon as the sentence passed my lips I felt as low as was humanly possible. I was blaming an innocent kid to save mine and my boyfriend's skin. I felt sick, the hunger pains in my stomach almost overwhelming my senses as I began to rock backwards and forwards slightly, my balance becoming difficult at best.

"Yeah well, wait 'till I get a hold of him. I'm gonna make him wish he'd never been born!"

"No, Axel. You don't have to do that, honestly, it's been dealt with" I stuttered, falling over my words as I teetered slightly on the balls of my feet. The world just wouldn't stay still.

"No no. I want to do it. No one messes with my best friend and gets away with it." he flashed me a toothy grin and I attempted to smile, but I'm almost certain that I failed. "Whoa" I felt Axel's hands reach out and grab me as he pulled me to his chest, preventing me from rocking any further. "Roxy are you okay, you're shivering all over man." I felt his hands touch my cheek and I weakly pushed them away, "You're flushed too, c'mon, I'm taking you home. Wait 'till I see Seifer, I'm gonna kill him for this."

"Axel please, I wanna go see everybody, I made a promise remember?" I looked at him, practically begging with my eyes and I watched as he sighed.

"Don't give me that look Roxas; you know I fall for it every time…fine, lets go. But I'm stopping of at the chippie on the way there, I'm god damn starved, Reno got stoned again last night and ate all the food. I swear a hippo would eat less." He laughed and I laughed back a little, following him as he began to walk down towards the river, the slope easy and gentle but it felt like I was falling forwards face first with every step. It didn't make sense, I'd made this journey over a thousand times before, why was this time any different? I found the steps a struggle to cope with when we reached the bottom and I sighed, panting as Axel let me rest and looked me over worriedly while I leaned agaisnt a brick wall, panting and doubling over. "You sure you're okay Roxy? I'd feel a lot better if you'd let me take you home, just so I know you're okay."

"Axel I'm fine, honest. I just need a rest is all." I leaned my back against the cool bricks and watched the river run by me, the sparkling water glistening as it ran past wildly, sloshing against the bank as it violently carried on down hill. Axel 'mmmd' and I found myself laughing at his slightly bewildered expression before he entered the fish shop opposite me, closing the door behind himself and disappearing from my view.

I stared down at the water, lost in the depths of my mind as I replayed the entire conversation which had just taken place. What's happening to me? I'm blaming an innocent guy just to get myself of the hook…I hate what's happening to me, what I'm becoming. Maybe Riku was right to punish me. Maybe his punishments will make me into a better person. I hope so.

"Here." I turned; slightly surprised as a tray full of chips and a brown greasy fish was dumped into my arms, Axel smiling down on me fondly. "Dinners on me Rox, now eat up. Fish aint cheap yano."

I laughed as he handed me a fork, looking down at the food longingly as we both trailed of to find a quiet bench. We found one eventually, both of us sitting down and eating in silence. I noticed that Axel only had chips, and I had the entirety of the fish…why did he do that? I rolled my eyes and sighed, it was just like Axel to give me everything, I think he somehow forgets that he's bigger than me and therefore needs more food, besides, I'm also on a diet. I took my fork and sliced down the middle of the fish, sticking my tongue out as I did so and ignoring Axel as he questioned what I was doing; mentioning that the fish was already dead and there was no need for me to decapitate it anymore.

I ignored him and picked up the biggest half of the fish, leaning over and dropping it in Axel's tray and he looked down at it strangely, glancing back up at me questioningly. "It's your half" I said, "Besides, I could never finish a full fish on my own. I'd explode or something."

He smiled, "Roxas-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer Axel, now hurry up and eat it before one of the others finds us and drags us of." I laughed, biting down on a chip and almost crying as the food touched my mouth. It was like ecstasy. It's been so long since I've eaten that I'd actually forgotten the sweet flavour of food itself. My stomach grumbled for more and I sighed, I was only about half way through but the words Riku mentioned the other day were still hanging heavy on my mind. So with a longing heart I slowly pushed my tray away and ignored the rest of my hunger pains. I can't cut down on food completely, that's just stupid and I could get anorexic, but by only eating half of what I'm given I know I can cut down on my weight. That seems reasonable.

"What's wrong Rox? I thought fish and chips was one of your favourites, I even got extra salt and vinegar for you" I looked up at Axel's worried face and grinned sheepishly, ignoring the cracking in my lip and rubbing the back of my head.

"I guess I'm just so full from the big dinner mom made me from before she went out. Heh, sorry Ax." It was another lie, another pointless and useless lie. But Axel bought it with a shrug and a smile and I was happy when he took the tray away from me, finishing his own dinner of and then scoffing down mine.

"As long as you've eaten something else I'm happy. So you ready to meet the gang?" he asked, standing up and offering a hand down to me. I grasped it firmly and he pulled me up.

"Sure, but Axel. Please don't tell them about Seifer, it's embarrassing" another lie, it's not Seifer what's embarrassing at all; it's the fact that I'm too ashamed to admit the truth. I don't want Riku to get into trouble, even if it means I have to take his place for something.

I watched him roll his eyes at me and sigh, "Okay Roxy, it'll be our little secret, I promise. Now c'mon, let's get going!"

He started jogging in the opposite direction, laughing as I followed, trying to keep up with him. I felt a lot better after I'd eaten something, but I knew that it was all I could have for a while now, especially if I wanted to lose weight. He turned a corner and I laughed while following him, turning into our secret Den and moving the overhanging curtain that blocked us of from the outside world. I groaned as I ducked beneath it and turned around, closing the metal gate behind me and turning the bolted lock before I followed Axel to the insides of our secret hideaway.

As I pulled the inner curtain back I laughed aloud and watched the scene before me. Axel was strolling through the room, stepping over Hayner's sleeping body as my second best friend hugged a bottle of beer to his chest, fighting of the advancers in his dream. Demyx was leaning heavily on Laxrene and sloshing something in a cup around clumsily, the dark blue liquid spilling onto the floor with a Splosh. Laxrene herself looked almost as wasted as Demyx, laughing about something Xion mumbled into her ear and cackling with delight. Namine was sat in a corner with pence and Zexion, her bottle of vodka left untouched as she sketched out the scene before her, smiling up at me sweetly as I entered and I waved back at her lightly. Zexion and Pence appeared to be held deep within a game of chess as Olette watched on in absolute loss, her face practically comical and I watched Marluxia flick his pink hair back with an over exaggerated gasp as he gossiped loudly on the phone.

I watched as all (except for Hayner's of course) their eyes turned on me, and I felt the flush come to my face. Silence followed, and I smiled sheepishly. "Err…hi guy's."

"Dominique…let me call you back." Marluxia said, still gasping at me as he snapped the phone shut, not waiting for a reply.

I jumped over Hayner's lifeless body and took my seat next to Axel, breathing deep and trying to relax, but I was tense for some reason. I had the looming feeling that something was about to go wrong…very wrong.

"OH MY GODSEES ROXAS! I- *hic* IT LOOKS LIKE A MAGGOT'S EATEN YOUR FACE!" Demyx slurred and I can confidently confirm that he is drunk, completely smashed.

"Yeah, I gotta say Demyx is right on this one dude. What the hell happened to you?" Xion asked, her perfect eyebrows raised in confusion as she waited for my answer anxiously. I watched as Namine abandoned her drawing and Laxrene placed her glass on the floor, walking over to me and holding my cheeks delicately.

"Aww, you poor baby." I felt her smack me upside the head and I yelped, she was almost as bad as Sora. I felt Axel's arm snake around my waist as he pulled me away from Laxrene and I felt slightly grateful when Laxrene backed of at the glare he gave her, taking her seat next to Demyx and continuing with her speech. "How many times do we have to tell you? Stay away from those woods, they're trouble. You should know that of all people."

I rolled my eyes at her and smiled slightly, Laxrene, being the oldest out of all of us here, is always a little bit overprotective. And she has a tendency of letting us know when we act like idiots. The smack didn't hurt, but it stung mightily. "What happened to you Roxas?" Zexion droned from the corner. Although his voice is monotonous, I know he cares about us all as much as he would a brother or sister, maybe even more so. So with a heavy heart I recited my lie about the skateboard while my friends listened with baited breath, their eyes holding untold sympathy. I finally finished my tall tale and let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, feeling Axel's arm squeeze me tightly to let me know that he was still there, it was comforting.

"Well Roxas, it sounds like you had a pretty nasty fall, looks like it too." Pence chirped, taking a deep swig of his beer and rummaging in the crate by his feet, pulling out two cans and throwing them to me and Axel, both of us catching them and opening the top. "It also sounds as if you deserve that." Pence laughed, nodding at the beer and I grinned, drinking from it heavily and sighing. We don't do this often, hanging around and getting wasted, but when we do do it, we do it right.

Demyx raised his cup in the air and wobbled it, Zexion walking forward and holding it steady for him, muttering a "no problem" when Demyx thanked him. "I propose a toast" Demyx mumbled, "To Roxy, the bestest guy in the whole wide world, who braved the concrete floor in defiance of all others. Who said, 'you shall trip me no more, concrete floor. For I am Roxas, and I will smash you with my face.' Maybe a bat would be better next time?" he looked at me and I blinked at him stupidly, looking around and knowing by everyone else's faces that they are all thinking the same thing as me. Just what the hell is Demyx on about? "No? Okay, well it's your face Roxy" he reached over and patted my knee lightly, "You just do what you gotta do man, make us proud…make us proud." He was crying, tears falling from his eyes as he bowed his head and I noticed it was the end of his small deranged speech. There was a small clanking of bottles and a murmur of cheers as I looked about at everyone's confused glances, Zexion trying to comfort Demyx and stop him crying.

The rest of the evening went well; Demyx fell asleep at some point and was snoring on Zexion's shoulder, clinging to him tightly and refusing to let go when Zexion opted to walk him home, saying his farewells and wishing me to get better soon as he left. Xion, Marluxia and Laxrene ended up leaving for a take away and Hayner is still asleep, rolling on the floor and twitching. Pence and Axel went outside, most probably to try and get some more alcohol and I soon found myself alone talking to Namine, commenting on her drawings and how nice they looked. The one she'd drawn from when I was on my way in here was perfect, and she really is a talented artist, better than me by far even though she denies it. She had just lent me some of her pencils and a bit of paper so I could try drawing the gang myself when I saw the curtain at the end of the room fly open, the dusk outside invading our private heaven as the candles that were scattered about the place flickered and fluttered, struggling to stay alive.

I looked up, a broad smile across my face as I expected to see one, two, three or even all four of my friends who had left walk through the door. But they didn't, and I found myself sat frozen atop the crate I was resting on, my heart in my mouth as a lump formed in my throat and I found myself chewing my tongue heavily. "Roxas? Roxas are you okay? Huh? Who are you?" Namine asked, her small voice strong as she stood up and went to stand in front of me. "This is a private meeting place, you're going to have to leave!" she was so small and powerful, I envied her so much. I saw his nostrils flare and his eyes narrow as he glared at her. But she didn't flinch like I did.

"You mean Roxas never told you? I'm his boyfriend, he invited me here. He said to make sure I was here for six o'clock dead on. Right Roxy?" I looked at his eyes, those beautiful turquoise eyes that had me so far fallen into his pit of love that it was impossible for me to crawl out.

"Is this true Roxy? You should have said something" she laughed lightly when I swallowed thickly and she welcomed him further inside, moving to sit opposite me so that Riku could wrap his arms around my shoulders, leaning his face close to mine when she wasn't looking and whispering into my ear, his breath a faint chilling whisper as his lips brushed against my ear.

"Got you."

* * *

Okay, do not kill me, I know I promised more action but this chapter needs to be added in as a filler, kind of to let Roxy there's no escape sort of thing. I have not proofread this chapter as it has taken me two hours to write without a break and I'm missing Family Guy for this :( That is how much I am dedicated to this story :) I hope you all enjoy and look forward to the next chapter :3

**Nalah - you was sorely missed :'-) I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I am honoured that my story is at No.1 I will strive to keep it there too :D Thankyou for the compliment on my writing and I'm glad you think so about Roxy. I didnt want him too come across as some stupid kid. He needs to believe that what's happening to him is for a purpose if that makes sense. I'm super siked that you think I'm a good author :D I think you've just made my day, I sincerely hope you enjoy the next chapter and that it lives up to you're expectations. Please excuse the lack of action as it is a Filler Chapter **

**L - Thankyou :) It's always good to have fresh blood join the reviewing team :) as long as the reviews keep coming I can promise the chapters will. I hope you enjoy chapter five and that it manages to hook you in :) Thankyou so much for reviewing L ;)**

**Thankyou to all of my Loyal and New recruits of the Reviewing team :) You all make me so happy and you made this chapter possible :) I hope you all take comfort in the fact that this story is in dedication to each and every one of you :) Thankyou all so so much **


	6. failed escape

I was silent as Riku talked to Namine, laughing and joking with her the way he used to do with me. It hurt…quite a lot as well. I know Namine doesn't mean it, and she's just being friendly, but every time she laughs and Riku flashes her that winning smile I cant help the jealousy that builds up inside me. I haven't talked in a while and I've taken up the habit of staring at the floor, Riku's arm is still draped over my shoulder and his finger nails are scraping against my flesh harshly, but I don't wince for fear that Namine notices…that would just cause trouble.

"So Roxas, how come you never mentioned Riku to me before?" Namine asked and I snapped out of my trance, blinking at her stupidly.

"Huh?"

"Yeah Roxas, what are you ashamed of me or something?" Riku asked and his voice was so sad I felt an instant pang of regret. Of course I wasn't ashamed of him, he's the love of my life, what's there to be ashamed of? Obviously the first person I had confided in about Riku was Axel, but for some reason he didn't take to the idea. He went all moody and sulky and it took me ages to coax him back into treating me like normal, and he still doesn't like Riku. Demyx had found out by accident, over hearing me and Axel one day when we were arguing over it, nothing serious, but he was quick to catch on. He seemed pretty open to the idea, but I didn't tell any of the others in case they rejected me. I was super scared they would after Axel's reaction; I mean he is my best friend and everything.

"No Riku, o-of course not. I love you, you know that. It just slipped my mind is all." I was stuttering, his mesmerizing turquoise eyes never leaving mine as I looked back down to the ground again, his smile tantalising and sweet.

"Poor Roxy," he grabbed my hair and ruffled it, laughing and I felt at ease slightly, able to relax when Namine started giggling, "You're such a scatterbrain. Definitely blonde" he laughed and even though I knew he was joking it still hurt.

Namine opened her mouth, a frown on her small face as she began to speak, but she was suddenly cut of by a series of splutters and coughs and all of our eyes were drawn to the blonde mess on the floor. Hayner was finally awake, looking up at me stupidly as he smiled goofily, his hair messier than mine as he sat up, still keeping his arse parked on the floor and cradling his bottle of booze.

"Hey guy's what's s'up. Damn that must have been some strong shit" He looked down at the bottle and I laughed. His speech was slurred and he was trying to get up, stumbling over and landing forwards, looking at the ground in confusion. "Alright, who broke the floor? Demyx! Where is he, I bet he did it again didn't he, huh? Breaks everything he does." He pointed at me and squinted, "Everything…"

I grinned as Namine stifled a giggle, walking over to Olette when she reappeared through the tent flap and said she needed her help with something, and then she was gone, leaving me alone with Riku and Hayner. "Oi Roxy, gits your skinny butt over here and help me up would ya, I feel like a crab or something." Hayner mumbled, taking another swig of his bottle and holding his head.

I rolled my eyes and smiled, attempting to get up before Riku's nails dug down into my skin, dragging me back down painfully and I couldn't help the hiss that escaped my lips. I looked over at Riku as he stared at me, his eyes suddenly cold again.

"Sit."

"Yo Roxy, what's the hold up? You can play kissy cat later, help me up would ya?" Hayner laughed, looking over at me confusedly and extending his hands up the way a baby might do to its mother when it wants to be carried. I looked back at Riku and sighed, fear rising through me as I pleaded with him with my eyes. He didn't move, but my friend needed me. So with a heavy heart I got up, unclamped Riku's cold stiff fingers from my shoulders and crossed the room to Hayner, throwing one of his arms over my shoulders and heaving him up, groaning with his weight as he teetered dangerously.

"Aw I knew you'd save me Roxy, you know if you ever needed me, for like…anything, I'd be there right?" He had his head rested on my shoulder as he supped his beer tentatively, ranting wildly and flailing his arms about in a random direction. But I wasn't listening; I was more interested in Riku's shimmering eyes. The way he was looking at me, his glare like ice, it was scary. "Hey Rox, what happened to your face dude? It looks like a banana that just went bad" Hayner muttered, poking my bruise and retracting his finger quickly when I yelped. "Aw man, I'm so so sorry."

I walked over to a crate and placed Hayner down on it gently, steadying him and preventing him from swaying before I straightened up and looked over at Riku. "It's okay Hayner; it was just an accident, a skateboarding trick gone wrong. I'll be fine." Hayner nodded and I turned my attention back to Riku, wondering what he thought of my lie, I mean it was to save him and everything. Maybe that'll get me of the hook or something.

He was on his feet now, still staring at me as he walked over, grabbing me by my upper arm and leaning in close as Hayner reached down and ransacked the crate for another can of cider. "Outside. Now." I gulped, his whisper cold on my ear and I found my pulse quickening, my body shaking instinctively as the conflicting emotions inside me raged. I could refuse him, say no and tell him to back of, but then I know he'd leave me and I'd be on my own again. I don't want that, I love him. To make him happy is all I want. I watched as he left the tent in three quick strides, expecting me to follow him. I didn't disappoint.

"Hey Roxy! Where you going man? The beer's here!" Hayner mumbled, confused as to why I was leaving and I turned back to him and smiled.

"Don't worry Hayner, I'm coming back." He nodded at my answer and I ducked beneath the thick curtain, following Riku outside.

Outside is black, literally. The sky is a dark, deep purple and the stars are shining brightly, twinkling as their crinkled smile shines over me. The moon is out, big and bold and reflecting small silver slithers down the deserted street. The air was cool and fresh, the wind crisp against my hot skin and I found myself breathing in the cold air deeply as I glanced about. Namine and Olette have gone again, to where I couldn't tell you and none of the others are back yet, and by the silence around the area I don't think they'll be back any time soon either.

Riku was stood in front of me, a few paces away as he looked down the deserted street, his head tilted lightly. I drew nearer to him, my head held low and my shoulders slumped as my feet dragged against the concrete. I stood behind him and raised my fingers to touch his shoulder.

"Don't." His voice was so cold and commanding that I flinched, my fingers curling just before they reached his fabric, but I didn't touch him. I didn't want to upset him again.

"Riku I-"

"I don't wanna hear it Roxas. You deliberately disobeyed me. Twice. Do you know what that means Roxy?" he turned to face me and I couldn't meet his gaze. He rested a hand on my shoulder and gripped it again as I shook my head. "It means I obviously haven't done my job properly." I looked up at him, confused as he smiled down on me with his winning smile. "But I'm sure I can change all that tomorrow."

I frowned, "Tomorrow? Why what's-"

He crashed his lips down on mine again, my bruise stinging fiercely before I pulled away from him, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and gasping for breath. The kiss had taken me by complete surprise and had left my head spinning. "No…" I mumbled, walking past him and grabbing fist full's of my hair. This isn't right, it can't be right. This isn't normal is it? "Riku, I can't do this anymore. I can't!" I felt a tear fall down my cheek and I swept it away roughly, feeling a hot hatred for my traitorous heart as it panged for him with a vengeance.

I felt soft hands turn me around, a small smile gracing perfect lips and a depth of sorrow in misty eyes. "Roxas…what are you saying? Don't you love me?" his voice was soft and I broke, crying openly and falling into him. It was so god damn hard. I knew it wasn't right, that there had to be something I could do, but there wasn't. I needed him.

"Of course I do-"

"Then stay with me Roxy" he kissed my cheek in the exact spot where my tears had fallen and I gave in. I know I'm weak, but that was all it took. A few soft spoken words and two simple kisses…and I was all his. I nodded, my throat swollen as he hugged me briefly, pulling away almost as soon as I began to relax. "Good, but I'm sorry Roxy. You still disobeyed me…" I flinched, looking up and pleading with him to change his mind, but he just smiled and shook his head. I looked back down defeated, sniffling and groaning. I must look real pathetic, but at the minute I don't really care. "Don't worry though" he continued and I looked up at him, full of hope, "I'm too tired tonight. I'll deal with you in morning, when I pick you up. You'll be at my house for nine am and I'll deal with you there." It wasn't a question. I looked away and nodded, closing my eyes when he laughed lightly and pecked me on the cheek. "Good-"

He was suddenly interrupted by the clattering of the steel bins in front of the tent, one of them spilling its contents onto the floor as it rolled away, Hayner laying in it's place as he looked up at us goofily and grinned. And it was then that my world collapsed. Just how much had Hayner heard? How long had he been listening for? I swallowed thickly and felt my heart speed up, my palms becoming sweaty as I looked between Hayner and Riku. My boyfriend was cold, stock still as his nostrils flared slightly. He was definitely mad.

"Ummm…hey guy's er…my bad" Hayner laughed, attempting to get up and falling over again. I started forwards, rolling my eyes and going to help him, but Riku extended his arm and caught me in the chest, his nails fisting around my t-shirt as he stared at Hayner on the floor, never taking his eyes of him.

"Go home Roxas" His voice was cold and I flinched at the bite it held to it.

"But Riku I-"

He turned to me and leaned in close, his mouth inches from my ear, "Go. Home." I swallowed again and he released me, letting me take a few steps back as I looked between Hayner and Riku. Riku was still staring at me, his icy eyes mirroring the depths of an arctic lake and Hayner was looking between us both, his eyebrows furrowed as his smile disappeared. Riku rolled up the sleeves of his long t-shirt and I gulped, turning around and slowly walking away, forcing myself to leave.

"Hey Roxas where you goin'?" Hayner shouted and I steadied my breathing (which took a lot of work), forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other and never looking back as I closed my eyes tight. "Hey dude where's Roxy goi-Hey hey hey! Gerrof me you-" There was the sound of a scuffle, a crunch and then silence as I clamped my hands down over my ears, ignoring the shouts and pleas as my name was called and forcing myself to run. I didn't know where I was going, I didn't know what was happening all, I knew was that I had been told to go home and that was exactly where I was going.

I turned a corner, my hands still clamped over my ears as I sprinted in a random direction. I fell backwards harshly when I bumped into someone, watching as they went down opposite me before we were both buried beneath a sea of chips. I glanced up with startled eyes and saw Pence rubbing his head opposite me, grinning as he noticed me and offering me up. "Hey Roxas what's going on? You leaving or something?" I didn't answer, too scared to take his hand as I helped myslf up on my own, backing up slightly. "Roxas what's wrong?" Another scream echoed from behind me before there was a loud THUMP and I flinched. "Jesus Christ what was that?" Pence shouted. "I'd better call the others or something."

I watched him pull out his phone and listened, backing of slightly when he turned his back. "Axel? Axel yeah its Pence, where are you guy's? Me and Roxas heard a scream coming from the den, yeah we're heading over there now. Who's with you?... … … But that just leaves Hayner…who'd wanna attack Hayner? Alright, see you there in two minutes." He turned back to me and frowned, "Apparently Axel and the others heard it too, they were outside Domino's when it happened. C'mon Roxas we gotta hurry, Hayner could be in real trouble."

I shook my head lightly. This is all a dream. Just some terrible unholy dream. I couldn't face it. I turned away from Pence and ran, running into the gloom of the park opposite the flashing traffic lights and jumping over the bench, running deep into the thicket of the wild shrubbery that was grown for display, ignoring Pence's shouts as he screamed after me. I need to get away from everything, to get home. I'm late enough as it is. I finally stopped running when I reached a clearing in the park, doubling over to catch my breath as I looked about nervously. Somewhere in the distance an ambulance was crying and I couldn't get Riku's angry glare out of my mind.

My phone rang, Axel's name flashing up as my phone was bombarded with text after text. I ignored them all and fell to the ground in a heap. I didn't need them to tell me what had happened, I could already guess. The screams died down in the distance and I buried my head in my knees. I had run away from my friend when he needed me the most, but I was just doing what I was told. Just avoiding another punishment. Just saving my own skin.

* * *

Okay guy's I'm sorry this chapter is short. I'm gonna try and get the plot going a bit more so I can add some excitment and bring Axel back into it in the next chapter. Okay I have a question. I think I need a beta reader. I mean, I know I'm not to bad at writing stories, but I tend to miss the little things. Any idea on how it works? and any suggestions on a beta reader? all are welcomed :) thankyou. Thankyou to everyone who reviewed, faved and alerted this story :) You are amazing people

**L - Is suspense a good thing or a bad thing? idk XD I hope a good thing :) and Axel has not saved the day...yet :3 I'm glad you want more :) It's good to know I've managed to do something right :D **

**Woohoolahoop - Thankyou so much :3 and thankyou for reviewing my story :D I'm sorry I left you feeling unsatisfied, I hope this chapter fills your needs a little bit more. I know it's not much, but it's something right? XD**

**Nalah - Hello friend :) I'm not complaining about another review ;) I'm super duper happy you enjoyed it. Idk if there's a lot going on this chapter, but the little bit that does happen is pretty big if I do say so myself, considering what happens in the next chapter :) And a smiley face is the best of faces, it's always good to see them :) **


	7. Realisation

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

I ignored the drilling tune and gulped, pulling my long sleeved t-shirt over my wrists to hide the purple bruises and deep scratches and staring down at the white pristine floor, keeping to the silence that suffocated me and closing my eyes to prevent my tears from falling. Riku was right, I'm so pathetic. I've taken to wearing long sleeved t-shirts a lot lately and just recently I've been avoiding my friends wherever possible. I still haven't faced them yet. Maybe I should enlighten you a little on the events that occurred from whence I last left of.

I had finally made it home at around midnight, Riku was still nowhere in sight and my phone was having frequent spasms as my friends bombarded me with texts and calls, but I didn't answer any of them. I was too afraid of what they might say. Mom and Dad weren't in when I got home and Sora took one look at the state I was in and let it go without asking any questions. I couldn't thank him enough for that and the next morning he covered for me too, saying I was at home at five thirty and letting it drop when dad tried to probe the truth out of us over the breakfast table. I went to Riku's at nine, like he told me to, and as I crossed over the threshold of his house I gotta admit I was really scared, petrified even. But I knocked and entered all the same, like a good boyfriend. I took my punishment and he assured me that it was light compared to what I would have got, that he was going easy on me because he felt sorry for me, because I was so pathetic of course. It makes sense really, I mean I did leave one of my best friends alone when I knew what was happening and I'm too much of a coward to face the others. Riku was right…

At the minute it's Monday and I should be in school. But Riku said I wasn't allowed to go and see Hayner yesterday and I didn't want to upset him again, so I did as I was told. When Sora told me the news about what happened to Hayner I was physically sick… I never thought my Riku could do something so horrible as this. I know I'm supposed to be in school right now, and if Riku finds me here I know the consequences of my disobedience could be harsh so that I'll learn to be a good boyfriend, but I had to come say I'm sorry. I just had to.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

I looked over at the pulsating monitor as the dashes flicked up and down across the black screen, assuring me that my friend was still alive. I looked past the monitor and at my sleeping best friend, locked in a coma that threatened to whisk him away the other realm at any minute as I sat on a rickety chair beside his bed. I looked at his face and this time I couldn't stop the tear from falling, it was just too hard. He's unconscious, in a coma, and his face is wrapped in tight bandages of soft white cloth, but that doesn't stop the snarling angry black bruises from slipping out from beneath them and glaring at me upon his pale skin. The bags beneath his eyes are huge and his left eyebrow is swollen, a deep cut rests across his forehead and his right arm is fractured in two separate places. I closed my eyes tightly as my tongue seemed to swell within my mouth, becoming dry and rough.

There are so many wires coming out of him that he looks slightly abiotic, almost as if he belongs to another realm, the realm of robots. There are mixed wires of red, white and blue, all of them flowing in a circuit of directions behind his head and flowing into and out of him. I quickly swallowed the rising bile in my throat and rubbed my eyes, reaching forward and grabbing Hayner's hand lightly as the clock struck ten on the opposite wall.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

"Hayner…? Hayner, I don't know if you can hear me…" I paused, biting at my scabbed over lip and letting the tears fall. "But I'm sorry Hayner. I'm so so sorry. I never meant for him to hurt you, I never wanted it to happen. I tried so hard, I did everything right to make sure it wouldn't happen, but it did and now you're here and I'm so so sorry." He ignored me, as only a person who has the right to do so can, and I found myself hiccupping and crying with my head laid softly on the side of his bed, near his elbow. "Please Hayner, please. You don't have to forgive me, I can live with that, I promise I can…but please Hayner…" I grabbed his cold clammy hand lightly and held it clumsily between all ten of my fingers, rubbing his palm slightly as if I believed that if I could warm his hand he would magically wake up. "Please wake up."

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

I waited with baited breath, wishing to the stars above to answer my prayers, but he stayed lifeless and still and I let my tears fall on his smooth pale skin, the hope leaving me quicker than a flame deserting a candle in the rain. I clutched his fingers tightly and waited, watching his lifeless figure and mumbling a prayer to all the powerful entities above.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

But he stayed still and the clock droned on. Eleven…twelve…one…two

I looked behind me suddenly as a nurse with brown curly hair appeared through the doorway, a clipboard resting securely in her hand as she looked me over with a warm smile. "Hello there, I'm the nurse that's looking after…" she trailed of and looked down at her clipboard lazily, "Hayner. I've just come to check his blood pressure and make sure he's okay, I wont be long." I nodded and she tottered around me, taking Hayner's blood pressure and checking his vitals as she looked over all the wires and circuits.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

"How long 'till he wakes up?" I asked, looking up at her with hopeful eyes, begging her to give me an answer.

She looked down on me sadly and straightened up, "I'm sorry, but there's no answer I can give you. Hayner's body took a lot of damage, it could take a long time before he wakes up and no one can be sure of when that's going to be. We've just gotta be ready for Hayner to wake up in his own time." I looked down and sniffled.

"Oh…but he will wake up right?"

"Of course sweetie." The fake facade in her voice and the plastic high pitched voice told me she was lying. She walked past me on her way out, grabbing my shoulder lightly and squeezing and I immediately flinched at her touch, cringing and tensing up my shoulders instinctively. I felt embarrassed as she looked down at me nervously and I quickly relaxed, watching as she left in a hurry, leaving me practically alone.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

I cursed the annoying beeping that was a constant reminder of my cowardice and laid my head back on Hayner's bed, closing my eyes and telling myself I would just relax for a few seconds…

* * *

"Roxy…hey Roxy are you okay...? Wake up Roxy…"

"Huh…?" I looked up through bleary eyes and squinted above me. The image was hazy for a few seconds but after a while it cleared, and I found myself face to face with Axel's mesmerizing emerald eyes. "Axel? Why aren't you in school?"

He chuckled as I yawned and pulled up a chair beside me, resting his elbows on Hayner's bed and smiling at me as he pointed at the clock. "Roxas its five o'clock. School finished ages ago."

I cursed under my breath and yawned, stretching slightly and never letting go of Hayner's hand, just in case it twitched ever so slightly. "Really? It's that late already?"

"Sure is Roxy" he whispered and I smiled a little, I had forgotten how much I missed Axel. "So, has anything happened?"

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

I looked back to Hayner and shook my head, the tears stinging at my eyes again as they fought to break loose. "No…they don't think…they don't…" I shook my head, unable to continue and looking down, the sobs racking my frame before I could stop them.

"Hey hey, Roxy what's wrong?" I felt him wrap his arm around me and pull me in close and I instinctively flinched, tensing all of my muscles and closing my eyes as I expected the punishment to follow, but of course it didn't. I opened my eyes slightly and found myself face to face with Axel's chest, his hand stroking rhythmic patterns through my hair softly as he murmured sweet nothings into my ear, rubbing my back with his other hand and telling me to calm down softly, that I was alright and that nothing could hurt me while he was there. I broke down; grabbing fistfuls of his t-shirt with my palms and crying into him, begging him to make it all go away.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

"Shhh Roxas, shhh. It's all gonna be alright, you'll see. We're gonna catch the bastard who did this to Hayner I promise, and when we do we'll make sure he can't hurt anybody ever again" I cried harder and Axel mistook it as tears of joy I think as he repeated the words over and over in my ears. "Where were you Roxy...? We were so worried when we couldn't find you. We even thought that maybe the sicko who did this to Hayner had gotten you. You just disappeared on us."

"I went home…I couldn't…I couldn't…" I trailed of and pulled my head away from the dampened spot on Axel's chest, murmuring apologies, but he just waved it of and smiled.

"Don't worry about it Roxy, just knowing that you're safe and Hayner will be alright is more than enough. Everyone was having a panic attack in school when you didn't show up for first period, we even went and hunted down Sora." He laughed, "It's a good job that at least one of you attends huh Rox?"

"I just wanted to come and ask Hayner to wake up…" I mumbled, looking back over at my sleeping friend that was lost to the oblivion of his dreams. "But I don't think he can hear me…"

"Nah, Hayner's probably just milkin' it to get some attention" Axel laughed and I smiled a little, relaxing and letting him draw me back into him in a tight embrace. "I missed you Roxy…I was so scared you were hurt…all I kept thinking was that I'd lost you, why didn't you pick up your phone?" his breath was so close to my ear that it sent goose bumps down my spine, but I liked it.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

"I'm sorry Axel, I just couldn't face it." I looked down and away, to ashamed to look up at him. "I'm so pathetic."

I felt delicate fingers lift my chin as a pair of thumbs rubbed the tears away from my cheeks, banishing them as I looked up into soft decisive eyes. Axel was smiling down on me, a loving smile that was filled with a tenderness I knew he only reserved for me. "No Roxy, you're not pathetic. You're perfect."

He closed the gap between us, taking me by surprise as he captured my bruised lips with the softness of his own. The kiss was so sweet, so pure and gentle, the complete opposite of Riku's brusque and harsh kisses. I loved it. I leaned forward and he raised his fingers up to rest them at the back of my head, pulling me in closer, but being ever so delicate so as not to press down upon my bruise. And I smiled into the kiss, raising my arms to rest them at the base of his neck and smiling, the biggest smile I've flashed in two months and I felt the a wave crash over me, a tingling warm wave that washed away all my troubles and brushed them of my shoulders. I know this is wrong, so ungodly wrong, but it feel so _right_, so beautifully right. If I cold capture one moment in my life and repeat it for all eternity this would be it. This would be my moment of ecstasy that is only describable as heaven.

He pulled away from me and rested his forehead against my own; both of us panting and smiling like a pair of happy seventh graders, but who cares right? I laughed a little and he grinned. "You're so perfect Roxas, so god damn perfect. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you"

I smiled up at him and hugged him tight, burying my face in the crook of his neck and holding onto him with a vice grip, bowling him over and grinning as he laughed when both of us fell on the floor, me on top of him as he caught me and wrapped his arms around me. I looked down on him and beamed as he raised his fingers to my face and brushed a piece of my hair out of my eyes, trailing his fingers along my jaw and laughing when I giggled. "I'll make sure no one ever hurts you again." He said and I lowered my lips down against his again, feeling his angelic lips brush my own before they touched a spark of pleasure jolted through me. What can I say? I think I'm in love, I've never felt like this with anyone before. Not even Riku.

"ER-HEM! If you two don't mind I'd rather not watch some of my best friends make a porno while I'm laid in a hospital bed high on morphine." I turned at the snarky remark and looked Hayner full in the face, the beeping machine no longer taunting me as Hayner's laughing eyes grinned at me, "Hey Roxy, you here to see me or Axel?"

I didn't hesitate once. I jumped of of Axel and ran to Hayner, throwing my arms around him and hugging him tight as he laughed and yelped when I squeezed too tightly, jumping on the bed and shouting apology after apology into his ear while he screamed that it was okay and attempted to pull me of him, but I was having none of it. It took five minutes, Axel a nurse and a doctor to remove me from Hayner, and I finally settled with sitting by his bedside and holding onto Axel instead.

"Jesus Christ Rox, What happened did they replace your brain with a marshmallow? When people are in hospital you're not suppose to attack them with hugs and kisses." He laughed at me and I smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head while Axel wrapped his arm around me.

"Sorry, you don't know how worried I've been. I'm so sorry Hayner, I really am. Please forgive me."

"Roxas you don't even have to ask. You're one of my best friends, of course I forgive you. In fact, there's nothing to forgive, you didn't do anything wrong…speaking of which." Hayner watched as the doctor and nurse left, promising to contact his parents, and then he turned back to me. "I need to talk to you. It's about the other night."

His eyes suddenly turned serious and my body turned to stone, I had hoped he was so drunk he would have forgotten everything…but apparently not. I watched as he opened his mouth, about to say something, before the hospital doors opened once again.

But this time it wasn't the doctor standing there. Nor was it the nurse. I watched as Axel grinded his teeth and held onto me that little bit tighter, Hayner spitting on the ground and looking up at the door's occupant venomously. "Just what the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, and I felt the mocking BEEP…BEEP…BEEP of the machine return to haunt me…

I gulped and looked up at the silver haired male, the ice in his eyes telling me all I needed to know as he glared down on me, promising me another bruise. I forced a smile to appear on my face. "Hi Riku…"

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Damn Hayner was in the shortest coma ever...Okay guy's, there you have it :3 Please excuse any mistakes in this chapter as I havent had chance to check it :) Thankyou to all my amazing reviewers once more and thankyou for everyone who faved and alerted this story ;) You are legends

**L - umm...if you dislike so much suspense I dont think this is a good chapter for you...sorry ^_^' i will try to add less next time for you. Thankyou so much :D You are now on my favourite people's list ^_^ You have just made my day**


	8. Cleansing

**WARNING**: there will be sexual scenes at the end of this chapter (no spoilers or nothin' huh?) but it will **not** be graphic. You do not have to read this chapter if you don't want. The story will still make sense without it

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I froze as his deadly turquoise eyes bored into mine, so cruel and soft they almost seemed surreal. Axel's arm squeezed my shoulder tightly and I shrugged it of, looking down and avoiding his confused gaze as Riku smirked at me, walking into the room and letting the door swish behind him. My tongue was like sandpaper in my mouth and I was almost certain that my heart was beating so loud that everyone could hear it, my leg jumping up and down nervously on the floor as Riku came closer to me.

"I said what the fuck are you doing here?" Hayner spat again and I closed my eyes harshly, wishing for my nightmare to end and dissolve before me, but of course it didn't and when I opened my eyes Riku was still coming closer. One painstakingly long footstep at a time.

"I suggest you shut that pretty little mouth of yours. Didn't you learn anything from your little accident?" Riku asked, his voice rhythmic and calm as he gave Hayner an ice cold stare, holding his gaze until Hayner finally blushed and looked away, staring at the wall as his fist shook by his side. I'm grateful he didn't start an argument; it's going to be hard enough to explain as it is.

"What do you mean 'learn anything'?" Axel asked, standing up and in front of me, his muscles tense as he towered over my boyfriend, attempting to intimidate him. Of course it didn't work; Riku laughed in his face and roughly pushed him to a side, sending him flying back into the seat he had just got out of.

He grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me to my feet, pulling me in close and hugging me tight. Every muscle in my body tensed, expecting a punishment for my bad behaviour. But it never came. Then again, thinking about it, of course it wouldn't come. I'm in a hospital full of people, most of them authority figures, my two best friends are across from me and even if Axel might not win I know he'd still try fighting for me. Riku's not stupid. He wont hurt me here…no, not here. I guess that means I'll be getting my punishment tonight.

"You've disobeyed me Roxas." His whisper was so faint in my ear I had to strain to hear it, "You've deliberately done what I told you not to do. And now I've got to punish you Roxas. I've got to."

"No…" I whispered, my voice sounded so small and weak…completely unlike me. "Please…" I couldn't help the tears that fell down my cheeks, my shoulders started shaking and my chest was wracked with the sobs that clung to my throat, desperately trying to escape, but I wouldn't let them. So they came out as choked noises instead. "I didn't mean to, honest I never-"

He pulled me in close and tucked my head beneath his chin, stroking my hair and shushing me the way a mother would when nursing a child. He never gave me an answer after that, but I don't think he's changed his mind. "I love you Roxas." He mumbled, small but still loud enough for me and my friends to hear. And I felt Axel's eyes turn on me.

I chanced a glance over Riku's shoulder, my arms wrapped around his neck as he held my waist firmly. Hayner was still looking at the wall and I can hear his teeth grinding from where I'm stood, he's breathing deep and his eyes are closed. I don't need him to tell me, I know he's pissed of at me. But I can't help it. And then I met Axel's eyes and I started crying all over again.

His emerald eyes were staring in to mine, broken and hurt as he waited for my answer to Riku's statement. His brows were furrowed and he's a pale, deathly white. Waiting for me with baited breath... I know he's waiting for my answer. Hell he'd wait forever if he could. He gulped and I swallowed, both of us longing to touch, but I wasn't allowed to. I had my boyfriend and his heart to consider, there wasn't any room for Axel's, not that my own aching heart didn't pine for his.

I stood for what seemed an eternity as my brain was swamped with the remembrance of his kiss and time itself seemed to stop. And then I felt Riku squeeze my stomach extremely hard, the little to no food I had ingested over the past few days threatening to come up as bile, my bruised ribs threatening to crack beneath his crushing grip as he squeezed the air out of me. I winced; bit the inside of my cheek and ground out what I hoped was a convincing "I love you to Riku."

Axel smiled at me, a sad smile that tore through me like hot steel. His eyes turned watery and his shoulders slumped as he broke his gaze away from mine. I died right then and there. I wanted him to scream at me, to shout at me and break me, snap me in half and use me, hell even abuse me like Riku, but I didn't want to see that smile. That smile that told me I had broken the one thing I had come to cherish more than my own soul. "I'm happy for you" he whispered, a murmur as soft and beautiful as silk.

I wanted to say something, to reach out, grab him and pull him close for another one of those magical kisses. But I couldn't. Riku turned me around and I lost sight of Axel. I wanted to see more of him, but I daren't risk another punishment. I heard the swinging of doors and I knew that no one had entered, rather someone had left. Someone as emotionally drained as myself. Hayner's eyes finally opened and his gaze bore into me, a pleading stare as he mouthed the words 'go after him' at me. I shook my head, no. I couldn't.

Riku finally released me and I watched him turn to face Hayner, a menacing smile plastered on his lips. "So, who put you in here?" He asked, and I stared up at him in confusement. I thought Riku did this to Hayner? I glanced at Hayner wearily and saw his jaw hanging open in disbelief.

"You did this to me you sick fuck!" Hayner spat and Riku frowned unconvincingly, smiling a little too sweetly.

"Roxas," he turned to me and kissed me delicately on the cheek, "would you mind sitting outside for a moment. Me and your friend here need to have a little chat. Make sure you don't go wandering of."

I looked to Hayner, asking a silent question with my eyes if it was okay for me to go…his defiant eyes and strong will told me it was fine. He nodded his head and I left, walking out of the room slowly and into the corridor outside, but I held the door open the tiniest crack, just large enough for me to hear what they were saying…I'm not normally a nosy person. But I wanted to make sure that Hayner was safe.

"So what the fuck are you doing here?" Hayner asked and I flinched at the coldness in his tone. Hayner was always such a nice person to everybody, when did that change?

"You think I did this to you?" Riku asked, just as cold back.

"Of course I know you did this to me, I fucking saw you ya bastard! What are you playing at with Roxas, huh? I swear if you're hurting him I'll-"

"You've got a younger sister haven't you Hayner?" Riku asked and I could tell by the tone in his voice that he wasn't just curious.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Hayner asked wearily, suddenly defensive.

"I have a friend who works in the red light district. The trades good but the products tend to get old and they need to be continuously replaced with…fresh meat. Bad things happen to good people. I would hate to see your little sister Namine get caught up in some of things that happen down there, on the other side of town." Hayner stayed quiet and Riku continued. "I didn't do this to you, did I Hayner?"

"No..." Hayner sounded so defeated and hurt. "No, you didn't do this to me"

"Good boy." Riku said, as if he were praising a dog.

I heard Hayner's curses and closed the door, sinking into a chair and burying my face into my hands. Axel has gone, most probably long ago too, and the hospital has grown quiet, the roar turning into a quiet hum as the machine and human voices seemed to role into one. The door opened next to me and I turned suddenly to see Riku stood in the doorway, a frown on his face as he looked down on me.

"Get up." He grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly to my feet once more. "We're leaving. Now."

"Let me just say goodbye to Hayner-" I felt the stinging slap strike my cheek and I yelped slightly, turning my head and bringing up my hands to defend myself down the quiet corridor.

"Don't tell me what you are and aren't going to do Roxas. We're leaving and that's that." I didn't answer, I was too scared to. He marched me out of the hospital, smiling at people that passed and acknowledged us. Outside the rain was falling heavily and the thunder up ahead was roaring at me to run, but Riku's grip held firm and he dragged me to his car, pushing me into the passenger seat and getting in at the other side. The doors locked when he clicked the safety button and an overwhelming feeling of entrapment filled me. He reached forward and put the car into drive before he pulled out of the parking space and left. I don't know where he's taking me; all I know is that I have no choice in getting there. My phone is in my back pocket and I could call Sora or Axel, or even mom and dad. But that would mean trouble and I've caused more than enough of that already.

After twenty minutes of driving down a lot of streets I didn't recognise and winding roads that led out of the city Riku finally stopped outside a small cottage on the other side of town, secluded by fields and picket fences. "Get out." He said, unlocking the doors and leaning across from me to open mine. I quickly obeyed and looked about the place, rubbing my arms to protect myself from the rain. I had only gone to the hospital in a thin jacket because it was bright sunshine when I left my house, but now it was chucking it down and I was left sneezing in a puddle of mud.

Riku got out of his side of the car and walked towards me, grabbing my wrist roughly and dragging me towards the small cottage roughly, thrusting a key into the lock and hurling me inside, following after me and locking the door behind him. The cottage was dark with low hanging ceilings, wooden bars scraping across the top as if they were a part of some long lost and dying forest. It was small from what I could tell. The hallway I was in was dark and damp, the carpet on the floor rough and slightly slimy and the walls were a deep mossy green. Riku pushed past me again, grabbing my wrist as he went and taking me into the first door on the right and leading me into a small bedroom area (as the cottage had no upper levels from what I could tell).

There was a broken bed in the corner and a mattress strewn across the floor next to it, bare and empty without its covers. Beer bottles and Playboy mags littered the floor along with ashtrays and cigarette buds, burn holes becoming permanent lodgers in the carpets fibres, all lined up in front of the small black TV that rested by the wall. I shivered. I had a feeling that nothing good would come of this place and all of the nerves in my body were telling me to run. But Riku blocked my exit as he stood in the doorway with that innocent smile on his face that I loved so much, and besides, I don't even know where I am.

"What is this place?" I asked, walking further into the room and coughing as the cold started to settle in my bones.

"This is my mom's old house before she died. She left it to me so I use it as a doss house for me and my mates. It's kinda like a fun house." His innocent smirk turned to one of delicious cruelness as he walked forwards and kissed me hard and rough before I pulled away, panting for breath and looking up at him wearily. "You know you still have to be punished Roxas." I flinched as he stroked my jaw with the back of his nails. "How about we make this a little bit more fun?"

"Fun?" I asked, my voice breaking as he peeled my soaked thin jacket of me and threw it onto the floor by the TV.

"Yes. I'm tired of waiting for you now. It's been long enough. Take of your top. I want to see you." He peeled of his own jacket and t-shirt and stood before me with a naked torso. I flinched down at his pearly white skin. I didn't want this.

"Riku, no. I should really be getting back you know? I mean Sora's gonna be wondering where I am and mom and dad will be freaking out-"

"I said take it of Roxas. I'm not going to ask you again." I gulped and shook my head slightly, watching him cautiously and he laughed a little, pulling me close and burying his face in the nape of my neck. His breath was warm and yet it still sent chills down my spine. My own breathing was coming in short sharp pangs and it was starting to make my head dizzy. And then his laughing stopped and I yelped as he bit into me, biting the flesh were my neck met my shoulder and covering my mouth with his hand as he pushed me backwards, forcing me against the wall roughly as he continued to bite my skin. It hurt, but at the same time it was almost nice. Tingles were sent through me and no matter how hard my mind rejected the offer my body became swamped with emotions and I found myself at a complete loss of what to do. So I stood there and took it, whimpering softly.

He finally pulled his lips away and smiled, kissing me hard again and pulling my T-shirt up and over my head. I was too numb to stop him, still in shock from the forcefulness he'd shown. I know I'd taken my punishments before and I had deserved each and every one of them, but what kind of punishment is this? I shivered as I sat before him, my entire top half bare. I went to fold my arms to conceal some of my flesh but he slapped them away and stroked one finger down my torso, from top to tip.

"You're not even pretty" he said and I felt a pang of shame flow through me, "but I suppose you'll just have to do." He pulled me away from the wall and for a split second I thought my prayers had been answered and we were leaving, but then he shoved me hard and I fell backwards, landing with a groan on the uncovered mattress. I looked up, watching as he sat down next to me and pushed me backwards so that I was laying down on the bed, completely vulnerable to whatever punishment he wanted to dish out to me. But I could take the pain, I was starting to learn.

He kissed me again, sprawling out on top of me and pinning both of my arms above my head with one of his own, the other one trailing leisurely down my chest and scratching my skin. And then I felt him tug at my belt and my eyes went wide. I know exactly what kind of punishment he means now…I'm not ready for this.

I began to struggle but his nails just dug further into my wrists and he frowned, continuing to unfasten my belt unfazed. "No Riku. No. I don't wanna do this. Gerrof! Let go." I began to panic, twisting and turning in my attempts to break loose. And then I winced and curled inwards as far as he would let me. The fist retracted from my stomach and I moaned a little.

"Stay still Roxas. I'm not in the mood for giving you two punishments." I stilled, tears falling down my cheeks as my belt finally came undone. He pulled my zipper down and it seemed to scratch inside my head, my mind going wild as my body lay perfectly still. I was petrified. Too scared to move. "Turn over." It wasn't a question.

"Riku please, please I'm not ready. I'll do anything-anything- but not this. Please." I was down to my last resort. I was begging.

He growled at me and crashed his lips down on mine once more, biting roughly and my healing lip and breaking the scab to pierce the flesh, causing it to bleed once more. He pulled away and looked down on me, "Shut your whining Roxas before I shut it for you. A piece of filth like you should be grateful a person like me is even considering doing this with you. Now turn over or I'll make you."

I didn't budge. He rolled his eyes at me and slapped me hard, rolling me over when I was dazed and holding me down with his weight. I heard him laugh at me and I jumped at the close proximity of his voice in my ear. "You know I don't want to do this Roxas, but you just aren't learning your lesson. I saw the kiss Roxas. I know you betrayed me after I warned you that you were mine."

I lifted my head and tried to turn to see him, but I couldn't. "I'm still yours Riku. I am. But I don't want to do this, please let me go-"

"But your not mine anymore, are you Roxy?" he laughed above me and bit into my back, on the lower half of my left shoulder blade. "You let _him_ kiss you and now I need to cleanse you and make you mine again." I frowned, scared and in pain. It didn't make sense, yes I had kissed Axel and it had felt right, but there was no need for any of this. Riku was over reacting. Before I could answer and tell him just that he started talking again. Maybe if I can keep him talking long enough he'll let me go, or someone will walk in or something. I kept my hopes up. "Don't worry Roxas. After I'm done cleansing you I'll make a quick phone call. Axel will be dead by the end of the day."

It was as if all the air in my lungs had turned to glass. My boyfriend was going to kill my best friend? Over a kiss? I struggled again, fighting for Axel rather than myself. But of course it didn't work. "Riku, Riku please. Leave Axel out of it, it was me. I kissed him."

"Why are you defending him?" Riku asked and although I knew the answer I dare not say it. It was because I loved him, possibly more than Riku, but I was with Riku and he was helping me to get better.

"I'm not, but there's no sense you getting in trouble for something I did. I'm the one who deserves punishing Riku, not Axel."

I heard him sigh above me, "Roxas just how stupid do you think I am?" I didn't answer; afraid I'd get it wrong. "I'm going to punish you and then your friend. My mind is made up and you're not going to change it."

I was about to answer before I stilled in panic again, the sound of his zipper invading the room as he undid his trousers. I froze before I heard the tinkling of his belt. I snapped to my senses and began to struggle wildly before I felt his fist collide with the back of my head. The world span and my vision became blurred, my head suddenly heavy and my tongue thick. I felt him roughly pull down my jeans, and then the searing pain followed, flowing up my spine and crippling me as I yelled out loud before his hand closed around my mouth. It was too much. I blacked out.

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O.o...I know, i'm such a bad person for making this. But it had to be done.

**L - Riku is so slick i can't make him loose even if I wanted to...not yet anyway. Don't worry, when he does fall I swear it will be epic. Thankyou for reviewing :) Loyal reviewers are the most rare and awesome of all! **

Thankyou to everyone who reviewed, faved and alerted this story :) You guys all make me so happy ! ^_^


	9. Axel?

I woke to the soreness in my body, my flesh crying every time I moved to the point where I felt practically paralysed. My eyes were still closed, shutting me away from the nightmare I was sure would cascade around me should I open them. But even the darkness behind my trembling eyelids couldn't mask the few memories I had and the pain always managed to come creeping in, appearing as a white flash of lightening and forcing me to wince and yelp with such ferocity it were as if it were laughing and taunting me. I'll admit it; I was scared to open my eyes. Extremely scared. The longer I kept them closed the longer I could pretend it wasn't real. But that's just it isn't it? It's only pretending and sooner or later I'll have to come back to the real world.

I tentatively opened one of my eyes a slither, spying across the room and forcing my aching and fuzzy brain to analyse my current situation. I'm on the mattress on the floor, fully clothed in my wet gear from what I can tell and there's a dull fading light coming from the windows…I think it's either sunrise or sunset. I'm not so sure. Time seems to have lost all meaning. I can't hear any noises and the only breathing in the room seems to be my own, does that mean Riku's not here? I opened my eyes fully and glanced about slowly, squinting and rubbing my eyes to attempt to clear up my hazy vision. Eventually it worked and I could confirm that yes, Riku was gone. I groaned and sat up, biting my tongue to prevent myself from screaming as the searing pain ran up my spine, forcing my breaths to come to my chest in short, rapid pants.

I finally managed to get myself sat up, propping myself up against the wall and not daring to move in-case the pain returned and increased ten fold. I bit my tongue again and gagged as the coppery taste of blood swamped my mouth, forcing me to gag. But I daren't spit it out, not in Riku's property, so I swallowed the bile instead and shut my eyes tight, forcing myself to hold in my tears. I wasn't some stupid kid anymore; it's time I learned that not all my problems can be solved with a few tears and a smile. I guess it's a good thing that I've got Riku to teach me huh? I reopened my eyes again, taking a deep breath and letting it out shakily.

And then I spotted the money on the floor next to me, a small note with printed letters smirking at me in its black font as it called out my name silently. I glanced about wearily for Riku, but there was still only my quiet companion of silence. I reached out slowly, my fingers shaking nervously as my nails brushed against the rough paper and I picked it up, holding it tight in the palm of my hand as the money slid off of the surface and fell to the floor, the coins clattering together nervously and causing me to flinch. I held the note close to my chest and unfolded it, opening it and reading its contents.

'_Roxas. _

_I was right. You really weren't worth the trouble, but I suppose it was about time you learned to please me properly. I know it's not my fault, but sometimes I do blame myself for your incompetence. You can be such a melodramatic waste. But I love you, so I suppose I will just have to live with you like all the other burdens you force me to suffer. _

_Help yourself out. _

_Riku._

_P.S. The money is yours. I'm sorry you weren't worth more. _

I cried. The tears streaming down my face and splattering the paper as my shoulders shuddered and trembled. I never meant to upset him, honest I never. I try so hard. I crumpled the paper in my hands and stuffed it into my front pocket, cursing as my backside protested and the shooting pains began again. It was practically unbearable, both the physical and mental pain and it was slowly killing me, but I would risk it all for his love and more importantly, his acceptance.

I lifted my knees up slowly and grabbed a few chunks of my hair, drowning out the painful memories of what I presumed to be the night before. The forceful kisses that had felt as if they were born from the fire itself, the heated moment where I just gave in, and then the indigenous fear I had grown so accustomed to as Riku managed to scare me once more into obedience and perfection. I remembered the sound of a zipper, the grating discomfort of skin on skin and then the chill whispers in my ear followed by the blinding darkness that followed as Riku pulled down his trousers and-

"STOP IT!" I yelled at absolute nothing, grabbing my ears and digging my nails into them painfully as I closed my ears and scrunched up my face, curling into a ball as if I could physically shield myself from the taunts that echoed and bit at me from inside my own mind. "Please stop it!" I whispered, a harsh breath that scratched at my throat and became choked in my mouth, coming out as a thread of words that were incoherent.

I glanced back down at the money on the floor and let a small sob against. Six pounds fifty. That's what I was worth. Not even a taxi fare home, wherever home is at the minute anyway. I reached forwards in my wet clothes and grabbed up the small silver coins and the green note, stuffing them deep into my pocket as I stood up, biting my lip and re-opening the sore wound as I groaned at the pain that flowed through me, as if there were a thousand tiny needles flowing in my blood, all of them slicing through me whenever I moved. I stood and held onto the wall, grabbing my head with my spare hand to try and stop the room from spinning. It worked slightly and soon the world was relatively still and I stumbled and picked up my jacket, slinging it around my shoulders and shuddering as it was still wet before I made my way towards the door. I checked my phone as my hand rested on the handle and frowned, the battery was dead and I was too scared to look around the creepy house that had stolen my virginity away from me on my own.

The note had said to help myself out, so I did just that. Outside the clouds were still a thick grey and the rain was falling heavy and fast, blanketing the world in an impenetrable wall of grey sleet. I wished it would wrap me in a protective layer like that, if only for a little while, so that I could have one day without the hurt. I glanced about and gulped. The rain is so thick and heavy I can't tell which way on the dusty wet road leads home. So in a fit of desperation I pulled my wet jacket further about myself and set of in a random direction, hoping against hope that I would find someplace warm and dry.

As I walked fragments of the conversation me and Riku had had the other night kept flicking back and forth across my brain as I attempted to grasp at small fragments. None of it made sense and I cursed myself lightly as I fell in a puddle that was deeper than I had anticipated, landing to my knees in the sodden brown mud. I picked myself up and continued down the gravelled road, the house disappearing behind me as it was dissolved by the rain.

I kept my head bowed low as I folded my arms, trying to secure some warmth as I stumbled, my vision blearing while I tried to remember the threads of the conversation from the night before it.

BEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

I froze, turning to look ahead of me and flinching as a pair of headlights raced towards me, the screeching of the car breaks filling the air as it honked and urged me to move out of the way. But I was frozen, not just by the rain but also out of fear. It had come to me like second nature to close my eyes and cover my face with my arms, moving my body to a side and bracing for the impact. But the car stopped mere inches from me, the headlights dying down to dull flickers as Leon looked at me from over the dashboard, mouth open as he undid his seatbelt, cussing and shouting as he opened the door. I backed up, my tears merging with the rains as I expected him to punish me the same as Riku for being a nuisance. I closed my eyes again and waited.

And then he hugged me, long and tight. His strong arms enveloped me and I opened my eyes to find him smiling and laughing, his cap soaked as it took the brunt of the rain of his head. He was talking to me, shouting at me when he released me and shaking my shoulders, but I couldn't speak. I was so confused. He wasn't mad? I watched as he removed his brown leather jacket and slung it over my shoulders, fastening it up at the front and putting his cap down over my head, grinning as it fell down and hid parts of my face before he hugged me once more. I'm so confused, he's getting drenched. Why is he giving me the things he needs?

He was talking to me again, but I couldn't hear him. I was so confused, so hurt, so shocked and nervous. I know I can trust Leon with all my heart, I mean he's my dad's best friend. But Riku taught me that I was his and I've come to recognise contact with other people as a punishment more than a blessing. It hurt me to see him frown as he tried to coax words from my frozen lips. My throat swelled and I found myself unable to talk, too afraid and nervous. After a few minutes he stopped trying and opted to pick me up instead, carrying me bridal style and putting me into the passenger seat before he got into the drivers seat next to me, soaked to the bone and smiling at me as he turned the key in the ignition. I watched the car roar into life as it started forwards and Leon pulled his pone out of his pocket, putting it to his ear after a few quick clicks of a couple of buttons and talking.

Inside, away from the deafening roar of the storm and safe inside the car's metal frame, my ears decided to listen. Partly anyway, things were still extremely fuzzy and my whole body ached. "Cloud…? Yeah it's Leon, I found him!... … … On Helldras Road near the old abandoned shack… … Yeah he's here with me, but he's a bit spooked I think… ... Just staring and watching, not talking or nothin'… … Yeah I'm bringing him to yours now, I'm about twenty five minutes away… … Don't worry I'll be there as soon as possible, you'd better call of the search and let everybody know… haha yeah I know, right gotta go, I'm driving with your kid remember…yep, bye." He hung up and looked over me, giving me a smile before I faded out again.

A search? For me? How long was I gone for? I cried inside, I was going to get another punishment for making everybody worry. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, cuddling into the warm jacket and listening to the hum of the engine as the soreness in my body began to fade as the sleep crept in.

And it was then that my memory decided to whisper the answers to me…

'_You're not even pretty… Turn over…I warned you…Mine…I saw the kiss…Axel will be dead by the end of the day…'_

My eyes shot open and I darted upright, sitting up so suddenly in my seat that Leon cursed and swerved the car, avoiding a near miss with a honking truck as he looked me over worriedly, pulling over and turning to look at me. "Roxas what is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He glanced me over in a panic, looking for my pains. But they were my secrets and I wasn't prepared to share them, not yet anyway.

I looked up at him with fear in my eyes and pain in my heart, my sore throat able to utter one word and one word only. "Axel…?" I asked, a desperate question in my voice as my mind became overloaded with a roaring tide of emotions.

His look said it all.

* * *

Wow :) Over fifteen reviews! Thankyou all so so much, you are all wonderfully brilliant people ^_^ You can't tell me how proud I am of this story. Thankyou to everyone who faved and alerted thsi story to :) Please excuse any mistakes in this chapter, I havent had time to read it. If something is really wrong please let me know and I'll fic it. Thankyou :)

**L - thankyou and I'm sorry, I keep forgetting not to put suspense in. But I do try lol ^_^ Thankyou so much for reviewing, I will try and add less suspense for you next time :) **

**Nini - Thankyou so much ^_^ I'm happy that you reviewed and I hope you enjoy the next chapter :D**

**That goes for everyone who reads this too ^_^ whether you review or not I hope you all enjoyed chapter 9 :)**


	10. Ruby in the Wrath

He laughed, closing his eyes and leaning forwards as he shook his head. I looked at him confused as the rumble in his throat echoed around the car and drowned out the sound of the pattering rain, deafening me as I furrowed my eyebrows and reached forwards with my arms, grasping his t-shirt lightly and pleading with my eyes, asking him a silent question. He glanced over at me and wiped a tear away from his ears, the last few bubbles of laughter escaping his throat before he looked me over and grinned. "I knew it! I knew something was going on with you guys. Cheers kiddo, you've just won me a sixty quid bet." He started the car again and pulled out of the parking space we were in, starting forwards and grinning broadly as I looked at him confusedly.

"Bet?" I asked, completely at a loss of what to say…why was he laughing? Axel could be in serious danger.

He glanced at me quickly before he placed his eyes back on the road. "Yeah. I've had my suspicions for a while now that you and Axel…well, yano. Anyway your dad said you had a boyfriend and all the rest of it and we made a deal. I bet sixty quid that you and Axel would be a couple by the end of the year. Looks like my ticket was golden huh kid?"

I was at a complete loss for words for a few seconds before what he said fully sunk in. "You mean you and my dad bet on my love life?" I asked.

"Wow when you put it like that we sound like proper pervs kid. No we just had a little friendly competition."

"On my life." I said, the anger rising inside me. "Well you and my dad were both wrong cuz I'm not dating anybody." Of course I was still dating Riku, but in the heat of the moment I was just so frustrated, so to prove them wrong I made it up. Leon sighed and I felt kinda sorry for him, immediately regretting my rash actions. He was helping me after all, and I'm sure they never meant to hurt me. "I'm sorry." I mumbled, leaning back and resting my head on the window, the cool rain feeling blissful against my hot head.

"Hey it's okay kid. We're family, it's our job to get ticked of with each other…so you gonna let me know what you were doing so far away from home, and were this came from." He reached over and turned my neck to a side, his fingers tracing over my black bruise that Riku had planted on me before he…I shook the thought from my head and nestled further under Leon's jacket.

"Nowhere…" I mumbled again, my voice becoming dry and choked as he gave me a quick look that said he wasn't buying it.

"So you're telling me that you've been gone for two whole days and when I find you, covered in bruises in the pissing down rain and heading in the wrong direction, that nothings happened? How thick do you think I am Roxas?" I didn't answer and his shoulders slumped. "Roxas I'm here to help. Is someone picking on you at school or something?"

I smiled at his thoughtfulness and cringed at my own sick pleasure for defending Riku, my beautiful boyfriend that was my crumbling world. "Nobody's bullying me Leon. I just got into a little scrap."

"You mean a fight? With who? Tell me and I swear I'll find them right now and I'll-" he gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white and I could hear his teeth grinding together.

"No no, Leon please it's been dealt with, honest." I stuttered quickly, falling over my words and shaking a little at the anger that radiated from him. I couldn't help the feeling that a punishment was coming my way. Leon pulled the car over and leaned over me, looking down on me with that knowing look he has that says 'I know you're hiding something'. It's the look he used to give me and Sora when we were little and he used to babysit for us.

He lifted his arms and I flinched, my hands coming up to defend my face as I tensed up completely, bracing myself for the impact. And then his arms wrapped around me in a warm hug and he pulled me close to his chest. "Let me help Roxas, I'm your uncle after all." He wasn't my blood uncle, but I've known him for that long that he's practically a piece of my family.

I shook my head and he sighed, opening the door next to himself and clambering out, walking around to my side and lifting my sore body up and into his arms as we braved the rain once more. I looked about nervously and shifted in Leon's arms when the sight of my house appeared in my blurry vision, the faint outline of the front door appearing as a hazy line as the oncoming rain pelted my vision with tiny searing droplets of water. Leon jumped up the steps, forgetting to lock his car, and booted the door open, not bothering to knock as he hurried to get me across the threshold and into the warmth. As soon as the heat swamped me I melted, my eyelids becoming heavy as I entered the house and Leon wandered into the living room. I sneezed as he pushed the door open, catching my sneeze in my hands that were buried in his leather jacket and sniffling. When I lowered my hands I begged the divine powers above to let me dissolve right then and there as more faces then I could count looked upon my own.

My mom rushed forwards and swamped me with kisses, hugging me tight and squishing my face against her chest as she sobbed and begged me to never leave her again, promising that she would do whatever it took to stop me from running away again while I looked at her bewildered, completely baffled while she continued crying. Eventually she moved aside and Leon walked amongst the numerous faces and handed me to my dad, who also held me bridal style as he looked down on me with worried eyes, my body completely drenched and soaked as my skin shivered and begged for some warm clothes. "Look I better go," Leon mumbled, pointing over at the door. "I left my car unlocked and Yuffie's probably worried sick."

"Yeah of course." My dad murmured, shuffling me so I was held in one of his strong hands as he reached forwards and clapped Leon on the shoulders. "If there's anything I can do to repay you my friend, don't dare hesitate to ask."

Leon smiled and clapped my dad on the back, "hey he's your kid, of course I wasn't going to leave him there. You're my bro Cloud; I got your back, even outside of the battlefield." He offered my dad a weak smile and I saw him nod his appreciation. And then Leon knelt and looked me full in the face. "If you need me Roxas, you come find me. We're family, we can talk about anything dude." And then he stood and waved his goodbye's to everyone, ruffling Sora's hair on the way out and smirking before the front door closed once more and there was the sound of an engine revving and a car screeching away. And then every awake eye turned on me and my wet clothes.

I saw Sora, his hair a mess as the bags beneath his eyes swelled. My mom was stood behind him, tear stains gracing her cheeks as she held onto Sora's shoulders and rubbed soothing circles into them with her thumbs. By the roaring fire was Demyx, still smiling goofily as he clutched Zexion's hand lightly and looked at me worriedly, the older blue haired teen asleep in a chair next to him with Namine and Olette perched on each of the arms, both of them far away in dream land. Hayner's sat on the windowsill, his arm in a thick white cast as he snored against the pane, his phone in his good hand while his crutches lay littered on the floor next to Pence who's sat beneath him on the floor, head lolled backwards against the brick as he mumbled something illegible in his sleep. I glanced left and saw Laxrene asleep on the couch, Kairi and Xion cuddled up close to her in a protective fashion. It's as if a spells been cast over them all and they're left frozen in a cursed sleep, all of them except for Demyx, Sora, mom and dad. I looked up at the clock atop the mantelpiece and winced at the time; four fifteen am. Were they all waiting for me? Was I really gone that long?

I attempted to move out of my dad's arms and winced as the searing pain ran back through me, but he pulled me close and the pain seemed to dissolve in his warm embrace. My mom raced forwards to help, but my dad waved her of and told her she should get some blankets for the others to keep them warm as it looked like they'd be staying the night. Sora followed her when she left and my dad laid me down in an empty space on the couch, making me promise not to move before he left me to go get me some warm clothes and a bite to eat. I sighed heavily and let my head loll back against the couch, my body aching and my brain crying for more rest.

"You really worried us you know." I swear I must have jumped five foot in the air, yelping loudly as my body cried with the agonising movement when I looked over at Demyx. I had completely forgotten about him. He slowly pried his hand away from Zexion's and rested it on the said boy's lap instead, crossing the room and sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I watched confusedly as he looked down at the floor and sniffled, "that text you sent was really scary. We all got it, but we didn't believe it 'till Sora said you didn't come home…" he trailed of as the tears fell down his face and I continued to stare at him confusedly.

"What text?" I ground out, my throat itchy and scratchy, as if I had swallowed a load of sandpaper.

Now it was Demyx's turn to look up at me confusedly and I almost died when I saw the tears glistening in his eyes, but he brushed them away with the ball of the palm of his hands and dug around in his pockets for his phone, pulling it out and flipping through it before he handed it to me. "You know, the one you sent us." He mumbled, urging me to take the device and I looked down on it nervously, the small metallic contraption shaking in my unsteady hands as I read the message.

It had come from my phone, just like Demyx had said and I felt the bile rise in my throat as I read the message, it looked as if it had been sent to almost everyone in my contacts.

**From: Roxas**

**To : Demyx / Axel / Hayner / Sora / Olette / Namine / Dad / Mom / Laxrene / Zexion / Pence / Yuffie / Grandma / Kairi / Xion / Uncle Luxord / Uncle Xigbar **

**Message:**

_**I can't take it anymore. I've had enough of you all. You all make me sick and my only regret is ever meeting people like you. None of you accept me for who I am and I can't handle it anymore. I'm running away. Don't look for me or I swear I'll kill myself. I hate you all. **_

_**Roxas.**_

I handed the phone back to Demyx shakily and began to breath deep, shaking my head and swallowing thickly. "I didn't send that." I mumbled, tears coming to my eyes as recognition of what had happened began to sink in. My phone was in my pocket when I was in that place with Riku, and it was charged, but when I woke up it was dead…did Riku do this? No, he can't have done it. He loves me; he wouldn't do this to me. "I didn't send it." I repeated again and Demy shook his head at me sorrowfully.

"Dude it's of your phone, who else sent it?" He asked and I faintly heard my dad tottering about in the kitchen.

"Riku." I mumbled, unable to stop the tears from falling as I buried my face in my hands and my frame shook uncontrollably, my sobs wracking my body as I begged Demyx to understand me. "Riku did it. Please Demyx you have to believe me, I love you guys, all of you. You know that." I looked up at him desperately when he put a hand on my shoulder and hugged me close.

"I know that Roxy, but it can't have been Riku. Dude he's been helping us look for you." Demyx chirped and I shook my head and shrugged him of.

"No no, Demyx you don't understand. He did this, he did everything. He's the one who sent the text Demy I promise, it wasn't me. Please you gotta believe me."

"Shhh Roxas, shhh. Calm down dude it's okay, I've got ya. Don't worry." He tried to quiet me, but I couldn't stop my mind from working overtime as I began to panic. I needed some proof to prove to Demyx that it wasn't me, that I'm not going mental and I actually didn't send the message. And then I remembered the note in my pocket and I felt the warm sense of relief wash over me. I pulled the note out of my pocket, shrugging of Leon's wet jacket and almost crying when I unravelled the paper, expecting to be met with Riku's words and signature, but instead coming up with a note of smeared ink and water droplets as the rain turned traitorous and masked my boyfriends tracks for him. I handed the blurred message to Demyx and tried to point out the words to him, but he just shook his head.

"Roxas please, why are you doing this? Don't you understand that you're hurting all of us."

Axel. I needed Axel, he'd believe me, he always believed me. "Axel. Where's Axel, I wanna see him Demyx, where is he?" I asked, pulling away from him and zipping up Leon's jacket, a sudden adrenaline rush flowing through me as he looked up at me confusedly.

"Axel went with Riku to check and see if you were hiding in the woods, like you used to when you were little remember? Axel figured that if you went anywhere it would be there and Riku opted to go with him. Roxas what's wrong."

He shook me and attempted to reach me but I ignored him, drowning him out as my heartbeat filled my chest and pounded in my head. Axel was with Riku, in the woods, when Riku threatened to kill Axel, all alone, in the dark, away from civilisation, looking for me…

"I'm sure they're on their way back by now anyway. Cloud rang about twenty minutes ago and they picked up and-hey where you going! Roxas!"

He shouted after me as I jumped up and sprinted around the corner, forgetting my pains as I ran down the hallway, grabbing my dad's keys from the top and slamming the front door behind me. I jumped down the steps, stumbling at the bottom and wincing before I unlocked my dad's car and climbed inside, turning the key in the ignition and looking back as I backed up, just in time to watch Demyx and Sora come shouting out of the house as I sped out of the driveway, taking a long look at their confused and upset faces before I sped of again. They probably think I'm leaving again, running away like what the text said, but I'm not. I'm going to save my best friend and there's not a force on Earth that can stop me.

Dad taught me to drive a long time ago, back when me and Sora were only small and now, with the streets deserted and quiet, I can really start to let my old skills come into play. I swerved around a corner at top speeds and raced for the woods, the traffic lights and street lamps burning my eyes as I raced forwards and down the cold streets, banging on the dashboard to get the wipers to work so that I could see through the rain. I braked hard as an ambulance and a fire engine cut in front of me, forcing me to swerve and I had a near miss with a close ranged lamppost that hung over me.

I was startled as I watched the two services race of without me, leaving me alone in the dust before I put the car in reverse and switched into drive, speeding of in high pursuit and frowning when I noticed the orange glare upon the horizon, the deep blaze coughing black smoke up into the atmosphere as it cried and hissed against the falling rain. I prayed to god that both of the men I loved had gotten out of there alive and safe as I pushed my foot further down on the pedal and sped into the view of the roaring inferno, my eyes going wide at the horrific scene before me as I pulled up short of the picture and climbed out of the car, leaving the door open as I got out, mouth and eyes wide as I shook my head. Life just couldn't be this cruel.

The woods were ablaze, the flames licking up the trees spines as it devoured their emerald leaves and ignored the lapping lick of the wind, hissing at the rain every time a droplet fell as it devoured more and more of my small sanctuary. The animals squawked and were flushed from the forest and past human feet faster than anything I had ever seen before as the crackling sound echoed around me, the heat attempting to intimidate me as it roared in my face. But I wasn't afraid, not anymore. I ducked beneath the yellow tape labelled 'DO NOT CROSS' and walked amidst the scene of chaos. Firemen were screeching at each other to hold the line as they poured water onto the blaze, but the fire wasn't retreating, not yet. It was fighting a violent battle, and it was winning. The ambulance's were on standby, waiting to see if they would be needed and then I saw Riku, standing next to a set of police officers and offering his statement with worried eyes that I knew were fake. But there was no Axel.

I stormed forwards, pushing the officer who told me to leave out of my way and walking towards the man I 'loved' as an anger hotter then the blaze before me itself threatened to devour me. I approached Riku and he looked me over strangely, as if he hadn't expected me before he embraced me stiffly, laughing nervously as he was caught of guard and whispering in my ear that I was to go home before he returned to addressing the police. "Where's Axel?" I asked, my teeth grinding together as my heart swelled with confidence. Even his icy stare couldn't hurt me now, not with the fire so close.

"I was just telling the police that me and Axel got separated Roxas. Why don't you go wait over there, behind the tape like you're supposed to?" It wasn't an offer, but I rejected it anyway and stood stock still, refusing to move.

"C'mon sonny, why don't you help us out and let us get a statement of your friend here, huh?" One of the officers asked and I felt the rage swell inside me once more. Everything became too much and it hurt to keep it inside; I had to let it out. Axel needed me, but how was I supposed to reach him? I'd need a distraction before I could even start.

I turned to look at Riku and thought of all the times he'd hurt me, of everything he'd done to me and all the pain that he'd caused. I thought of everything. And then I pulled back my fist and punched him in the face, hearing the crunch of his nose as my knuckles connected with his pretty face and he fell backwards, cursing as he fell to the floor with his hands attempting to stop the blood from flowing down his face. The police jumped forwards to help him and I caught his evil glare, the glare that promised I'd pay for damaging his perfection. But I didn't care, not at that moment in time anyway. Time slowed and the world became hazy, the sound of screams and shouts becoming absorbed and overrun by the pounding of my own heart as it beat heavily, burning with a desire to find Axel before the flames in the wood. I turned as the tape became unguarded and sprinted for the woods, ignoring people's shouts and pulling myself out of an ambulance man's grip as I skidded beneath the tape line, jumping over a fallen log and entering the falling wreckage that was once perfect. Perfect until Riku found it. It's sad. This forest is a perfect example of how I'm feeling, and yet the one I love the most is suffering desperately because of it.

I pulled Leon's jacket over my nose and coughed as the thick black smoke swirled around me, clamping its thin grey fingers around my throat as it attempted to suffocate me. My eyes became teary as I started to panic, running deeper into the forest and looking left and right desperately, looking for my ruby in the wrath.

* * *

Quick note, okay that last sentence i know is 'ruby in the rough', but I think on this occasion 'ruby in the wrath' is just that little bit better :)

Thankyou again to everyone who reviewed, faved, followed and alerted :) You are truly amazing. ^_^ so what do you think guys? Was Riku lying or telling the truth ? Will Roxas find Axel, or will the flames devour the flurry of dancing flames? :) I know the answer, but do you :D (sorry I've had sugar)

**Guest - sorry about the cliffhangers, they are now a developed habbit I can't break out of :'(Though I am trying :) I'm glad you love this story, It really does give me the inspiration and motivation to keep uploading when people review with such amazing comments on the story :) Thankyou **

**NOT A PICKLE - Haha :) what a cool name! I think Roxas is wondering the exact same question :) Cheers for reviewing ^_^**

**L - I'm so sorry my friend, I keep forgetting. I am trying really hard to break the habit for you I really am, but then the temptation cliffhanger sits on my shoulder and whispers into my ear the perfect place to put the cliffhanger and I'm too weak to resist :'( Thankyou so much :) I'm honoured that you love this fanifiction so much :) It makes me really happy when I see your review cuz I know you've been with this fic practically since the start. Thankyou ^_^ you're an awesome reviewer. I hope you liked this chapter :) **


	11. cuddles, confusion and kisses

I fell to one knee, coughing and spluttering as the thick air around me swarmed my chest and suffocated me slowly, the black smoke heavy and humid as the flames licked around me. The embers came closer, snaking towards me with a roaring crackle as it hungered for my flesh, the blaze unsatisfied with the trees it had consumed as it searched forever forwards in a devastating torrent of fire and death.

I closed my eyes as they began to sting, the tears of regret swimming down my cheeks when I opened them, glancing left and right in a desperate attempt to catch a glimpse of him. Of Axel. But there was none. And the fire was coming closer. Always closer. The trees falling, the flames roaring, the earth dying, the shrieks climbing, my heart racing, the pain intensifying, the light decaying, the danger growing. But still there was no Axel. I raised Leon's jacket over my parched lips and coughed again, breathing deep as I got to my feet once more and bent low, attempting to run beneath the lingering smog of black smoke. I was grateful for the thick layer of sweat that had blanketed the hem of the jacket, offering a small layer of protection and prevention in its moist and clammy depths as my skin continued to sweat.

I sprinted as fast as I could while bending low, jumping a fallen log that lay singed and broken before me, but I misjudged my step as my mind went fuzzy and I ended up falling on the other side. The pain swirled around my leg as my trousers tore and I turned and grasped at the flames that encircled it, batting at them wildly to douse them before I stood again and continued, stumbling down a low ditch and landing in a puddle below with a silenced _splash_, my heart heavy as my salt tears mingled with the warm water that drenched me. I fell again, my leg caving beneath me and refusing to support me as I sat, practically paralysed, in the midst of my burning sanctuary, the dying heart of my own private world.

Falling backwards, I coughed once more, searching the sky above me and trying to make sense of where I was. But the overhanging canopy had been destroyed, turning from a peaceful emerald to an angry inferno that blazed with the rage of hell as it shot fire bolts down on me, the blue in the sky replaced with a swallowing pit of pure black smoke. It was pointless, hopeless. I couldn't stand without a piercing flame searing up my right thigh, I couldn't shout because my throat felt as if a thousand hot knives were piercing my skin and every direction I looked in appeared the same. It was always just the same snarling orange that licked its lips with the crackling spit of hunger while it gently approached, blackening all that stood in its path and encircling me and my small puddle.

I fell back, giving in and wiping some of the sweat away from my brow, replacing it with a deep brown smear of mud. This is really it. I've failed. Everything I hoped of achieving, everyone I hoped to help…I've let them all down. The fire swallowed up all my hopes. I placed my hands back in the puddle and watched as they became dissolved beneath its grey surface, lost within the shallow water and safe from the sizzling heat. "Axel!" I had meant it as a shout, a loud roar of defiance, but the fire's knife was still in my throat and instead I found my voice a barely audible whisper as the coughs wracked my chest and forced my body to heave up what little food I had eaten lately. I attempted to stand once more, but fell face forwards into the mud, my limbs shaking wildly when I attempted to stand again. But I fell forwards and gave in once more…collapsing. I laid on the bank, half in the water and half out as the shapes around me began to blur and merge into one another, all the black and red conspiring against me as my vision became hazy at best. The sound of the fire became drowned out and I was left in complete silence, the light becoming unbearably bright as my body went numb. It was kind of nice really...to find a form of peace amongst the chaos.

"ROXAS!"

I closed my eyes and attempted to drown out the voice that broke my haven, allowing my body to relax and sink into the din I had plunged myself into.

"ROXAS! ROXAS GET UP!"

That voice again…it's so familiar…

"ROXAS!"

Why won't it leave me be?... I don't ache any more…Can't it see that?

"ROXAS PLEASE! PLEASE ROXAS YOU'VE GOT TO GET UP! WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE"

I opened my eyes a slither and smiled goofily as two bright and shimmering emeralds shined above me, merging and moving as a voice shouted at me from beyond the black shadows, calling for me to get up. But why would I want to get up? I'm so comfy where I am…but the light's so bright, too bright…I wish I could turn it down

"ROXAS GET YOUR LAZY BUTT UP RIGHT NOW! PLEASE ROXAS, PLEASE I CAN'T LOSE YOU!"

A pale shape emerged before me and I smirked as the green orbs became stationary, a shape become slightly recognisable hazily above me. It grabbed me, shook me, pleaded and begged me…but what was it? Why did it want me?

"ROXAS PLEASE. PLEASE GET UP!"

Something wet landed on me, something salty and moist. A tear? The emeralds are crying for me? I closed my eyes once more and smiled a full on smile as I recognised what and who was above me. It all made sense really, the shining emeralds, the pale skin, the familiar voice and the constant yet beautiful nagging. "It's ok Axel. It's ok." I mumbled, coughing as my voice protested with each and every word.

"Thank fuck you're alive!" Axel shouted above me, his voice sweet over the bitter yell of the flames. "C'mon Roxas, c'mon we gotta get outta here. The whole forests coming down. We gotta move!" He grabbed my arm and lifted me as I protested meekly, murmuring to himself as I attempted to grasp at my surroundings.

There were so many shapes. Axel was nothing but a blur, but I knew it was him, even as nothing but a voice. The fire was a throbbing orange glow, the noise became a dull whisper like the white noise on the TV and the ground beneath me seemed to move as I tripped and fell forwards with Axel's help. "Axel it's ok. Just let me sit down for a minute." I mumbled, attempting to catch his attention as he hefted me further over his shoulder.

"No Roxas. If you sit down you won't get back up. We've gotta keep moving. Please Roxas, please just keep moving."

The heat was making me feel sticky and warm, so I pulled the jacket down from over my lips only to have Axel cover it back over again. I laughed a little at his worried glance, but they soon erupted into painful coughs as the blinding light crept closer…why is it so white? It feels so out of place in the world of colour…

And then I blacked out.

* * *

There was an annoying beeping sound that followed me around, teasing me and taunting me as I searched the blackness, looking for a way out. But I couldn't find it. I've been searching for a long time now and it feels like forever, but I'm not sure what to do. There's no doors, no window's or walls. How do you escape from something that doesn't physically trap you? I looked down at my feet and frowned as black wisps licked up my legs. I shivered; it was so like the fire's flames it was scary.

I froze, thinking back to the inferno that had terrorised the last few day's of normality I could remember. But even that's hazy…I don't recall much. I remember the flames, the bright orange and the ecstasy of finding a safe place amongst the blaze, and then the voice, Axel and the white light. The extraordinarily luring and tantalising bright white light…

…am I dead…?

No, I can't be dead. If I were dead I'd be in heaven or hell, and there wouldn't be this stupid beeping sound following me everywhere. Unless this is hell, and I'm left to the torment of my own mind and this infernal sharp beep beep beep that never seems to leave. I started walking in a random direction, heading further into the black and searching for the way out. But there was nothing, and I was left with nothing but the empty black darkness once more.

"_Roxas? Hey it's Sora…they said that er…that you're just sleeping and that when you're ready you'll wake up." _I frowned, looking left and right in the darkness before I turned around in a full circle. Where was he? There's nothing here but darkness.

"_I know you probably can't here me, but I figured I'd give it a try anyway… Why did you run of the other day? I mean…what's going on? I don't understand it anymore…we were so close and now I feel as if I don't even know who you are." _I carried on walking, listening to Sora's voice as it echoed around me. It didn't make sense. Where am I? What's Sora on about?

"_You know they took mom and dad in for questioning right?" _I stopped still and froze, not daring to breathe in case I missed any of his words. Mom and dad had been taken in? Why? _"They think dad's military absence could be what triggered your um…episode." _

Episode? What's he talking about? _"You know Roxas…even though we're twins; I'm still your big brother. If you ever need me, for anything…I'm always here for you…I'll be back soon I er…I've got something to do." _

I stood still, confused out of my mind. Why is Sora getting all soppy on me? And where is he? What's going on? "Sora wait! Please, don't go! I don't understand" I started running in a random direction, attempting to find him or any colour that penetrated this dark realm. I was running out of breath when it started. The black wisps began to climb up my legs, dragging me down as they trapped me like quick sand, devouring me slowly. I pulled on my feet and struggled wildly, attempting to get free as I placed one hand down into the darkness, but when I went to pull it up I found it trapped in the black vortex's suction.

It was swallowing me and before long I was completely devoured by the darkness, the beeping sound still echoing around me as I held my breath and felt the constraining depths of suffocation reside in my lungs once more. And then I opened my eyes in confusion to the bright colour of life and the sweet feeling of oxygen invading my chest once more.

I glanced about and groaned. My body aches, my head aches, I'm confused behind my wildest dreams and my throat feels as if I've been inhaling hot ashes for eternity. The room I'm in is white, pristine and clean, and next to me resounds the source of the pitiful beeping sound, a shining metal heart monitor. I followed the wires with my eyes and groaned as they connected to my wrist, hiding from me beneath a clean white bandage as I laid upon a metal bed, a set of blankets resting over my knees. The seats next to me were empty and the door on my left was swinging slightly, as if someone had just left and I can only guess at it being Sora. So why am I in the hospital? And what was all that black darkness about? Was it my subconscious?

I rested my head back against the pillow and growled at the beeping monitor next to me, itching to turn it of but too tired to get up and move towards it. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what had happened, but the memories still eluded me tauntingly and I found myself at a loss of what to do.

"So you're awake." The voice was cold and cool, yet strangely loving and exciting. I opened my eyes and glanced towards the door as Riku stalked over to me, his hands deep in his pockets as he frowned. A plaster was set across his nose, his eyes were branded by two deep purple bruises and he was frowning…right at me. I smiled as he sat down next to me in the chair and smirked back at me, folding his arms and nodding. "You gonna explain what happened?"

I frowned, gulping and looking down at my hands in my lap as I sat up and shook my head. "I really don't remember much."

He leaned forwards and stroked my face, laughing slightly as I flinched and prepared for a punishment. But it never came. "Do you remember hitting me, Roxas? Do you remember punching me in the face after I called the national services to help your friend?" his voice was cold and the bite in it chilled the blood in my veins as his soft touch turned to a scratch when he pulled away, leaving me yelping as I clutched my face.

"Y-you mean… you didn't start the fire?" I asked, I was so sure it was Riku.

He snorted and pulled his hand away from me, looking genuinely hurt. "You honestly think I would be so dirty as to use fire? Honestly Roxas I thought you knew me better than that, I always like to complete my work first hand. Call it what you will but I like the thrill that comes with finishing a master piece. Don't worry, I'm still going to get your little friend, but first I think I'm gonna have some fun with him." He smirked at me strangely and I held my breath involuntarily, letting it out shakily and gulping. He stood, leaned over and kissed me roughly before he turned around and walked to the door, looking back and laughing at me as I sat there, scared stiff. "You know Roxas, you're so stupid. I'll see you when you get out of hospital…and I will be seeing you. I think I owe you a little payment for this." He pointed at his face and glared at me before he left, the doors swinging hypnotically behind him as I let the tears fall.

So if Riku didn't start the fire, who did? I buried my face in my hands and brought my knees up to my chest, hiding my head in the covers and attempting to think things through. Riku was going to give me the punishment of a lifetime for hurting him like that, especially since he didn't start the fire…and what about Axel? Did he ever make it out or did he…

I shuddered, not wanting to think of the alternative when the door banged open once more and the sound of muffled footsteps came closer. I didn't bother looking up, to confused and overwhelmed by my emotions to be bothered with anything else.

"Roxy? Roxy you okay?"

This time the voice was gentle and soft spoken, a faint whisper that caught my ears by chance. I glanced up and wiped away my tears, frowning as I was met with illuminating green eyes.

"Axel? I thought… I thought…" I stopped, unable to carry on as he sat in the chair Riku had just left and smiled at me, leaning forwards and grinning slightly. His left arm was covered in thick white bandages that were moist with some kind of translucent gel, his neck, I could see, was slightly burned and he had been limping on his walk over, not heavily but definitely still limping.

"A lot of people thought that. As soon as I saw you run in I knew I had to go in after you, what where you playing at Roxas? You knowb fire's nothing to play with." He looked at me questioningly and I frowned, confused once more as he carried on. "If I wouldn't have followed you God alone knows what might have happened." He stopped and breathed deep, leaning forwards and resting his hands on the bed as he looked me over and then glanced away, going silent.

"I don't understand…" I muttered. "I went in to find you. You were in the fire; I went in to get you out…how could you have followed me?"

"Roxas," he looked up at me strangely and held my hand lightly. "Roxas I wasn't in the fire. Me and Riku got separated when we went out looking for you and I ended up in the back of some cop car when the blaze started. They took me to the scene and I was just getting out of the car when I saw you ducking beneath the tape and running into the fire."

I shook my head and ripped my hand from his grasp, grabbing at my hair tightly and shaking my head roughly back and forth. "No…no I know you were in the fire, Riku said…" I stopped myself and bit my tongue, cutting myself short and swallowing the words that attempted to escape my mouth. I had almost told him what Riku was going to do; I had almost given it all away and revealed to my best friend my boyfriends secret ambition.

"…Riku said what Roxas?" he asked and I shook my head, looking away as the tears threatened to spill again.

"Nothing…Axel what happened. I remember going home and you and Riku weren't there…and then the fire and the flames. After that it all gets kind of fuzzy."

He smiled a little and leaned back in his seat. "Well, like I said, I got there as you was ducking under the tape, what possessed you to go in there I don't have a clue, but Riku was covered in blood and he kept trying to get to you, screaming for you to come back, but the cops held him tight and forced him into an ambulance."

"He was worried about me?"

"Petrified." He stopped and rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand. "Maybe I misjudged the guy. I mean, he is looking after you right?"

"Yeah…" another little white lie. "So then what happened?"

"Well, you slipped under the tape and I ran after you. Since when did you get so fast? I lost sight of you almost straight away, and then the smoke and the heat made you near impossible to locate…I swear if you hadn't fallen into that puddle and made such a loud splash I don't think I would have found you until…" he stopped and looked away. "Anyway, by the time I found you you were pretty out of it, and by the time I got you out of the fire you were unconscious, barely breathing they told me." He laughed a little, but it was hollow and full of a choked sadness as he swallowed thickly and continued again.

"I watched them put your mom and dad into the back of the cop car for questioning and Sora was the one who went with you in the ambulance…Demyx came with me and I got discharged this morning. Sora just left, you just missed him. He's er…he's gonna be looking after you for a little while."

I frowned as Axel beat around the bush, becoming nervous and fidgety. "Axel what's going on? What's wrong?"

"They er…they think that er…" He swallowed and looked away again, avoiding my gaze deliberately as he swallowed and coughed. "They think that you're receiving a lack of treatment at home."

"What!" I jumped forwards before he pushed me back down, my heart beating heavily in my chest as it felt as though the fire was back in my heart, roaring at me with its laughing smile. "How? How can they think that?"

"Roxas calm down. I'm not even supposed to be telling you this." He looked at me worriedly and I stilled, waiting with baited breath. "They found a load of bruises on your body and some cuts as well as er…well they found… some evidence that suggested you were…sexually abused."

He finished with a whisper and I sat completely frozen. "They think mom and dad did this to me?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they're taking us all in for questioning, but they decided that you're too mentally unstable to give a statement just yet."

"Mentally unstable?" I asked. What's going on? This cant be happening, we were fine just a few weeks ago.

"C'mon Roxas, don't play stupid. You're as thin as hell, covered in abrasions and you're always so twitchy. You flinch every time someone comes into a room and you ran into the middle of a burning forest. What are they supposed to expect? It all started a month after your dad came home from the army right?" Wrong. It all started the day I met Riku two weeks after my dad came home. But I didn't say that. "I honestly never thought Cloud was capable of such a thing, but they say the army does weird things to people…"

"Axel my dad didn't do this to me." I said, grinding my teeth as he looked at me confusedly.

"Then who did Roxas." He leaned forward and grabbed my hand tightly with both of his own, pulling his chair close as he looked over me worriedly. "Please Roxas, I just want to help. You know you can tell me anything right? Anything at all. I'll never judge you, I promise." I knew he wouldn't, but I still couldn't tell him. Riku would kill me if I did and I couldn't betray my boyfriends trust like that. I wanted to be a good boyfriend. So I shook my head and he sighed deeply, pushing his chair back and getting up slowly, the scrape of his chair catching my attention as he stood to leave, turning away from me. "I thought you might say that. Why wont you let us help you Roxas, it's all we want to do."

Eh took two steps away from me and I suddenly felt cold and alone, craving his touch and the warmth it brought me. "Axel wait." I reached forward and left my hand hanging in the air as he turned round with a raised eyebrow, a perfectly untold question.

"Yeah Roxy?"

"Don't go…I don't want to be on my own anymore."

He stared at me confusedly and I shuffled a little, slightly nervous as he walked back over to me. "Roxas your surrounded by people." He smiled at me and I melted a little, my heart beating that little bit faster as my hopes and dreams seemed to run rings in my head. "You're never alone."

I shook my head and smiled a little. "I'm always alone without you. Please Axel, stay with me?"

He grinned and let loose a small uncertain laugh, no longer as full of confidence as it used to be. "Since when did you get all mushy?" he took his seat up again and I let out a nervous laugh, afraid someone other than Axel might hear it.

"Since never" he rolled his eyes and I stuck my tongue out at him, both of us laughing freely as the tension seemed to slip from our shoulders. "I bet everybody's mad with me huh?" I asked, looking downwards and frowning.

"Nah. Your mom and dad are gonna be pretty confused and Sora's a bit upset, but the rest of us are just worried about you. As soon as you're ready to let us in we'll be there. Don't you worry about that." He smiled at me before getting up and lifting my covers, sitting on the bed and laughing at my confused stare. "You gonna squidge your butt up or what? I've been up all night, if I'm gonna stay you gotta share your bed."

I laughed and moved over, smiling as he draped the covers over himself and shuffled me up, smiling at me as he laid his head back against my pillow and laughed with his eyes closed. "Axel…do you think I'm insane?" I asked, furrowing my brows and fisting the sheets nervously as he peeked open an eye and stared at me.

"What are you nuts? Of course not." He laughed at his own private little joke and turned to stare at me, yawning and wincing as he laid on his bad arm. "No Roxas I don't think you're crazy, but I do think you're hiding something from us. You're just not the same anymore. You've changed so much."

"How so?"

He opened his other eye and smiled, leaning forwards and touching my face lightly, retracting his fingers as quick as lightening when I flinched away from his warm touch. I immediately regretted my actions as he sighed and offered me a sad quirky smile. "That's exactly how. The Roxas I know would never flinch away from me."

I sighed and turned away from him, staying quiet for a long time and listening to him fidget and sigh before he finally settled. I evened out my breathing and feigned to be asleep, wishing away all my aches and pains as a tear escaped me. I stilled as Axel leaned over me and I think he thought I was asleep as he muttered whispers in my ear, telling me it would all be okay as he rubbed my arm.

"You know Roxas …I can't bear to see you like this… I wish you'd let me help you, just tell me who's hurting you. Please." A tear fell on my cheek from above and I had to stop my shoulders trembling as my own tears threatened to fall. "I promise I'll protect you Roxy. Forever and ever. You know why?" I stayed quiet, still pretending to be asleep as my breaths came in shaky pants. He leaned in close and I felt the simplest and purest kiss on the cheek I had ever known before his lips pulled away and he wrapped his arm around my stomach instead, laying down and cuddling me close to his chest. "Because I love you."

His voice was warm on the back of my neck and a spasm of blissful jolts spread down my spine as his arm tightened slightly, never hurting me but letting me know that I was safe in his arms. Protected from anything and everything. And in the safety and bliss of his arms I opened my heart and let him in, the one person I trusted my life with as I uttered one word and one word only.

"…Riku…"

* * *

There you go guy's, sorry it took so long ^_^' I was trying really hard not to put a cliffhanger in. Okay I hope nobody got confused, but if you did please dont be afraid to ask, :) I'm not a nasty person and I really don't mind explaining :)

Thankyou to all my legendary reviewers, favers and alerters :) you are awesome people and you all make this story possible :D

**Guest - Thankyou I'm glad you like the story and the plot, it's alwaysgood to hear and I know what you mean when you say cliffhangers can make a story lose its spice, but I'm not sure how to stop the habit. I hope this is a bit better and even if you wait 'till the end to read the story I'm just glad you're still going to read it :) Thankyou for reviewing and I hope this chapter is a little better ^_^ sorry about the cliffhangers ^_^'**

**L - Thankyou so much ^_^ it gives me tons of motivation when people tell me about how much they love the story and I'm ecstatic to know that you will re-read this story :) as a writer thats my main goal that I'm focusing on ^_^ Thankyou for reviewing again and I hope you enjoy the next chapter :) p.s. sorry about the cliffhangers ^_^' I'm really trying to stop them **

**Nalah - Hi! Long time no see :) or type in this case...It's okay :) the main thing is that you've started reviewing again and I have one of my top reviewers back :) I'm glad you think the updates are fast :D I try to get them up whenever I can :( I hope you enjoy the next chapter and I hope i didnt stress you out too much on Axel's dissapearance ^_^' Wow, you can't wait to see more stories from me? Thankyou so much! That means a lot to me :) To know that you like my writing style and ideas that much is amazing :) thankyou thankyou thankyou ^_^**

wow...that was long...sorry ^_^' one more special thankyou to all my reviewers and followers :)


	12. Saying Goodbye

His arms tightened around me, his breath becoming sharp and ragged as I waited for the onslaught of lectures and 'I told you so's to rain down on me with tense shoulders and a closed fist, but they never came, and instead the tight grip he had wrapped around my stomach deflated with his sigh and I felt it retract away ever so slowly, as if he had never wanted to let go. And then came the shaking of his shoulders that rocked the bed lightly as he swept his hand over his face, sniffling quietly and attempting to keep from 'waking' me up.

"I don't get it…what does he have that I don't? If you could just see how much I love you, if I could put it in a box and wrap it up with a ribbon and show it to you…" He shook his head and looked away from me. "You know I tried so hard to get you to see…and then just when I was about to ask the question he came and …" There was a long pause as more sniffling occurred followed by a deep breath and a dry cough. "I'm sorry Roxas…I can't…I can't…"

The comforting weight on the bed next to me shifted before it disappeared permanently and Axel trailed one hand over my arm softly before he got up and turned his back on me completely as I watched through one peeked open eye lid, not enough for him to see I was awake, but enough for me to see that he was leaving. The tears on his face forged deep wet indentations on his cheeks that seemed to break my heart more than Riku ever could. He was crying, his heart bleeding, for me…but there was nothing I could do to patch it up.

"I have to go away Roxas, clear my head and stuff…I'll give you a text some time and we'll meet up though, right?" he laughed hollowly and my heart screamed at my body to jump up and stop him from leaving, to beg him not to go and to tell him of my unyielding love for him …but I couldn't. I had made Riku my priority, and his love was so well driven into me I had begun to fear it, like some intoxicating drug that never leaves you satisfied. He turned back to me again and I closed my eyes tightly, afraid he might see them open a slither. I felt him kneel next to me and then his hot breath was close to my lips, ghosting over them as he sniffled again and brushed his tears away.

He touched my face with fingers as soft as silk as his voice became a butterfly whisper and I had to forcefully stop the instinctive flinch. "This is it Roxy…I never thought I'd be saying goodbye like this." He laughed a little, "to be honest though I never actually thought we'd be saying goodbye…I'm not really sure how to say this and I don't wanna make a scene or nothing so I'm just gonna go. Please don't be mad at me Roxy, please. I just love you too much to see you with him, but you're happy and I'd never stop that. Your happiness is all that's important to me." He took a deep breath and I listened to him choke a little on his stifled sobs. "If you ever need me Roxas, come find me okay? Just ring or email me or even buzz Reno out of bed and get him to give you my adress or something…I'm still your best friend. Goodbye Roxy, I love you so so much."

I froze, my heart ripping as the realisation set in. Riku was going to hurt Axel and Axel was prepared to leave me so I could be with Riku, both of them for me and my worthless heart, but still my body wouldn't move, couldn't move and I hated each and every muscle in my body for it. His fingers left my cheek, his soft warm touch leaving me to the cold in the air as he stood again and left in three brisk strides, never looking back.

I felt abandoned…alone. Axel was gone and it felt as if the core of my heart had been ripped from my chest so that it could leave with him. I felt empty, as if everything I had thought of and done so far was useless without him. My muscles finally started to work shakily and I raised myself up unsteadily on my elbows, my eyes shooting open as I scanned the room for him desperately, but he was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring him back without drawing my boyfriends attention. I had let him walk out of my life, the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I was still doing nothing about it…but what was there to do?

* * *

It was late evening before I was allowed to discharge myself from the hospital and although my leg stung with a vengeance I knew there was something I had to do, somewhere I had to go. So I set of, pushing my way through the double doors and down the street, pulling my hood up and over my face as the rain began to fall heavily, washing away all the happiness in the world and soothing my leg slightly with its cold shower.

I turned the corner and crossed the crossings, my fists deep in my pockets as I shied into my hood. It felt as if people were staring at me, as if they were following me and jeering at me everywhere I went. But there was nobody out, the streets where deserted because of the rain and still I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being followed. I picked up my pace to a slow jog and ran through the city streets, taking all the back alley short cuts I could remember and skipping through the park, jumping the railings and Mr Alex's back fence as I jogged down Axel's street, completely out of breath when I stopped outside of his fence, doubling over and looking up before I began to ascend the stone steps, grateful for the numbing painkillers the doctors had given me before I left.

His house was number eight and the brass number gleamed at me on the red door as it lay asleep above the brass knocker, waiting for me to wake it up. I didn't disappoint. I knocked hesitantly three times and leaned heavily on the fence next to the door, attempting to catch my breath and waiting anxiously. Eventually, after three agonisingly long minutes, the door opened and Reno stood in the doorway, smiling down at me goofily with his messy red hair tied back in a bobble.

"Yo Roxas, long time no see dude, I thought you was supposed to be in the hospital or something." He left the door open for me and walked back inside the house, expecting me to follow into what was once practically my second home. "When did you start knocking anyway?" he asked over his shoulder, skidding down the hallway in his socks and entering the living room after giving me a grin.

I entered and took my shoes of with some difficulty near the door after I'd closed it, looking around sadly at all the boxes that lay packed with stuff as they lined the hallway, all of them taped up with Axel's name written on them in permanent marker. I followed Reno into the living room and sat in the chair opposite him, shuffling nervously and watching as he flicked through the TV channels in nothing but his boxers and socks. "Err…Reno?"

"Yeah dude?"

"Is Axel in?" I asked. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy Reno's company; on the contrary I've spent many days and nights here with him and Axel. He's like another brother to me, but I really need to see Axel, I don't want him to go.

"Axel? Nah dude you just missed him; he left about half an hour ago. He's moved to San Francisco to live with mom…didn't he tell you?" He looked at me confusedly and I knew he was only concerned, but something inside me felt lost.

I felt my heart collapse and cave inwards, the world spinning around me as the bile rose in my throat and my chest felt as if it were filled with lead, the weight suffocating and choking as it crushed all the feeling out of me. My eyes began to swarm with tears and I bit them back forcefully, too scared to speak in case they flooded out of me. So I shook my head instead and tried to stop my shoulders from shaking as I looked down.

Reno sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, getting up of the couch and walking forwards towards me. "Aw man, I'm sorry Rox. Axel can be a real douche sometimes; I really thought he would have told you." He went to hug me and I flinched again, closing both my eyes and gulping as my breaths struggled to come, moving backwards as the feeling of claustrophobia swamped me. Reno stopped and put his arms down by his side, "dude, you okay? Maybe I should take you back to the hospital-"

"No! I'm fine" I opened my eyes and let out a shaky breath, walking on wobbly legs towards the door and giving Reno a nervous smile, "thanks for everything Reno. If you hear from Axel will you tell him I dropped by?" I opened the door as he mumbled a baffled "yeah" and stepped out into the rain, closing it behind me and letting the tears fall hot and sharp on my cheeks as I began my long walk back home.

He's really gone… he actually left. He left me, abandoned me…I can't blame him really. I mean, who'd want to stay around someone like me? Riku was right about everything.

I turned down an alley and rested my back against it as I slid down the brickwork, curling up on the ground and sniffling as I muddled over Axel's last few words, wondering if I would ever see him again.

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

I looked up at the cold voice and wiped my tears away as I stood up and looked down, avoiding Riku's gaze as he stood in front of me in a black jacket, his blue eyes as cold as the rain. I went to move around him and he placed his arm against the wall, trapping me between his torso and the brick as he moved in close and kissed me again. But I was to upset so I pushed him away roughly, attempting to manoeuvre around him once more before he grabbed me by the hem of my jacket and forcefully pushed me back against the brick. "You think I'm playing Roxas?" he asked and I flinched as his hand came into rough contact with my stomach again, his mouth over mine to muffle the shouts as I stood trapped down the alley between my boyfriend and the wall.

"Riku no-" I was silenced again as he landed another punch and winded me, forcing the air out of me as he laughed above me, releasing me and walking backwards with his hands behind his head as I doubled over.

"Why do you make me do it Roxas? Do you like me punishing you huh? I told you to stay away from him so you go to his fucking house?" He walked forwards again and licked his lips, grabbing me by the shoulders and forcing me to straighten up before he backhanded me roughly, sending me sprawling on the floor in a daze as the blood swelled down my nose. He crouched next to me and I flinched, crawling back a few steps as he extended his hand with a warm yet cruel smirk. But his fingers touched my cheek gently this time and rubbed away some of the blood. "Oh Roxas, you're so stupid and naïve. I bet you told him to go away so that I wouldn't get to him huh? You thought it would be a clever little trick to try outsmarting me."

"No-"

He raised his hand and I flinched away, but he never lowered it to my skin this time. "Don't Roxas, just don't. You're pathetic enough as it is, I don't need you whining on top."

"Roxas?" Riku turned before he stood up tall and straight and I looked around his legs to spy Sora jogging towards us, a frown on his face as he stopped a few feet away. "Roxas what's going on?" his gaze was icy cold and it was aimed at Riku. For some reason I don't think I have to explain anything. I looked down at the ground ashamedly and Riku laughed dangerously, walking a few steps closer to Sora and grinning.

"Nothings going on. Now why don't you be a good little boy and run along home hmm?" Riku said and I got shakily to my feet, still standing behind Riku and never taking my eyes of the suddenly very interesting floor as the transaction unfolded before me.

"What the? Jesus Christ! Roxas what happened? Who did this to you?" He went to take a step towards me before Riku pushed him back.

"Don't tell me you're retarded as well."

"What the?" Sora shook his head and flipped Riku of, turning to me instead. "Come on Roxas, let's go home and leave this douche to his self." He held his hand out to me and before I could even consider taking it Riku smacked it away, rolling his eyes and sighing tiredly.

"He's staying with me. Now if you know what's good for you you'll get lost." There was a dangerous tint to Riku's voice that I recognised instantly and I lifted my eyes to watch as Sora puffed out his chest a little and looked Riku up and down.

"Make me."

The fight, if you can call it that, didn't last long. I watched as Sora pushed Riku roughly, barely staggering him and within literally seconds Riku was reflexively aiming a punch at my brother's face. But I got there first and pushed Sora out of the way, sprawling him out onto the wet concrete below us as he fell with a loud _thud _and preventing him from taking the beating I knew was meant for me. He looked up at me and I knew he was confused; maybe even a little scared as he sat below me, but there was nothing I could do with Riku at my back.

"Just get outta here Sora. Get lost already. Why do you have to follow everything I do huh? Why are you always checking up on me? Would it kill you to go get a life of your own and leave me alone?" The words came out of my mouth in a fast torrent before I could stop them and I hoped to the high heavens that he could see that I was just protecting him. I didn't need to turn around to know that Riku was smirking as Sora lay crushed in the dirt.

"But I thought-"

"And that's the problem Sora. You don't think. Just leave me alone." I growled, feeling my heart break as Riku grabbed my upper arm and laughed aloud.

"You heard the lad retard. Now why don't you fuck of already?" I felt the tug on my right shoulder as Riku span me around to leave, but I shrugged him of to, walking down the alley on my own and leaving Sora in the dirt as Riku followed me. I didn't want to do it, but if I didn't then both me and Sora would have been in trouble and I didn't want that. Besides, Sora shouldn't be nosy, right?

I love Riku and now that Axel's gone he's all I have left. He's the only one who looks after me and if I lost him I don't know what I'd do. I know I've hurt Sora and I'll have to deal with it later trust me, but for now my dependence on Riku is all that's getting me through life. He won't abandon me like Axel… I guess I should be thankful for that.

* * *

There you go guys :) Please do not shoot me if there are any mistakes, I havent had chance to proofread it ^_^ so now Sora's starting to figure it out and Roxas is becoming dependant on Riku...that can only spell disaster. Thankyou to all my amazing reviewers favers and alerters :D you are legends

**L - You wanted more and I delivered :) Sorry this took a while to get up, but I hope it was worth it ^_^ um...writing tips? You mean like from me? ^_^ Sure I'd be happy to help, what do you wanna know? If you let me know in a review or a PM I'll post a paragraph on my profile for you so you can see :) Thankyou for you're awesome review and I'm really glad you like this story so much **

**Guest - I'm glad you think so ^_^ it took me ages to get the last chapter just right cuz I didnt want Axel to seem to pushy or nothing :) I hope you enjoy this chapter to and thankyou for th ereview :) **


	13. Aggravated Betrayal

I approached my front door to find the lights in the living room out and the curtains drawn while the sound of silence crept out from beneath the door. I sighed and took a deep breath, trying the door with my eyes closed, my fingers closing around the cold metal as I slowly pushed it down, grateful when it stuck fast. My brother was out, probably looking for me, and I was given the chance to enter alone so that I could finally get a small bit of peace.

Slowly I pushed my key into the door and turned it, pushing the door open and watching it swing on its hinges creakily before I stepped inside and kicked the door closed behind me, putting my keys on the dresser at my side and leaving my shoes on as I entered the house, moving in the dark and not bothering to turn on any of the lights as I headed into the living room with my head bowed low. The TV was of and the floor was littered with empty soda cans and pizza boxes, a sleeping bag littered across the floor in a crumpled mess while an upside down glass leaked water under the couch. I smiled a small smile, it looks as if Sora's been camping out.

Moving quietly, scared I would interrupt the ghosts in the house, I made my way through the mess and over to the kitchen. I flicked on the light and rummaged in one of the draws, pulling out a large black bag before I moved back to the living room, picking up Sora's mess and folding the sleeping bag neatly, placing it on the arm of the couch and throwing the bag full of rubbish in the bin back in the kitchen, still in the silence and darkness in the house. The light in the kitchen hurt my eyes and I opened the fridge automatically, reaching in and stopping myself half way…what am I doing? I might be hungry but that's no reason to eat. I'm on a diet for Christ's sake. I frowned and slammed the fridge door shut, walking away from it and taking a seat at the kitchen table, my head buried in my hands as I fisted handfuls of my hair and breathed deep, the voices swarming inside my head.

Riku had finally let me go half an hour ago after he finished of my punishment this morning, telling me he would see me tomorrow and I hadn't the heart to argue anymore. I haven't seen Sora since what happened, but it's dark again and I couldn't face coming home after what happened the other night. So I stayed out with Riku and ignored all of Sora's calls and messages, forgetting I had a brother for one night. It was nice, but I knew I would have to come home today to face all that's happened. It's time to wake up from being numb. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and rested it on the table, staring at the black screen intently and wishing for it to flash with Axel's name as I folded my arms beneath me on the table and waited.

He hasn't called and he hasn't texted me either. I knew this would happen, its one of the other things I ran away from last night. Being with Riku all night seemed to please him and it took my mind of the nagging thought that Axel hadn't bothered to get in touch with me. I guess I should have known he'd brake his promise, he's just a let down like all the others. I rubbed my eye fiercely as a tear fell on my phone, growling at myself for letting him trick me into believing him. I'm so stupid, I should have known. He never planned to call me; he was just using me, using me like all the others. Just like Riku said.

The front door slammed open and I looked up, my mood bitter and my heart ripped as Sora's voice rang out through the house, beckoning me to come forwards and tell him I was home. So I turned of the kitchen light and stayed quiet, waiting in the dark for the brother who abandoned me when I needed him most.

"Roxas! Roxas are you home?" I listened to the sound of him banging about, tripping over the furniture and cursing loudly while he looked for me. And then he entered the kitchen and flipped on the lights, throwing the door wide as he ran forward and stopped himself dead in his tracks. "Jesus Christ Roxas, you scared me half to death! Didn't you hear me calling? Why the hell didn't you answer?"

I looked up at him, opening my closed eyes and frowning as I folded my fists beneath my chin, staring through him instead of at him for the first time in my life. I can honestly say my big brother looks like shit. His hairs a mess, his clothes are hanging of him and he's as pale as death himself, but I know it's just a sympathy act. An act to make me feel sorry for a wrong I haven't done. "I didn't answer because my names not Rover. I'm not a dog Sora. I won't come running when you call me, not anymore."

His worried face became confused for a brief second, and then it turned to anger and he took an intimidating step forwards, leaning on the chair opposite me and twitching in frustration. "When I call you? When I call you! Roxas I've been looking all over the city for you! I haven't slept properly in two days, I'm a mess! Mom and Dad have been taken into police custody until you give the police a statement and I can't seem to find you anywhere, what the fuck are you playing at?" I didn't answer and he rested his arms above his head, pulling at his hair and growling as he turned away from me, booting the wall closest to him before he turned back to me, pointing at my face while I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair, folding my arms and waiting. "You know, maybe it would be easier if you were a fucking dog. At least then you'd come back when I call you-"

"Oh and you'd like that wouldn't you Sora huh? You'd love for me to come running every time something crumbles in your precious perfect world. Well I've got news for you big brother; I'm done running for you and for everybody else. I'm through-"

"You're through? Through with what Roxas? You know, all anybody ever does is try to help you and all you ever do is chase them away. What's going on Roxas? What happened to change you so much-"

"I haven't changed!"

"No? Well you sure as hell aint the Roxas I grew up with. I don't know who you are, but you're not him and I'm tired of it."

"What the hell are you talking about Sora?"

"What am I talking about? What am I talking about?" I heard him growl and then the frustrated aggravated noise of pure reproach reached my ears and I opened my eyes a peek. He was crying, his shoulders shaking as he looked me in the face. He was hurt, not physically but mentally, I could see it in his eyes. But Riku had warned me that he would try and do something like this, try and turn us against each other because they're jealous of what we have. I smirked and watched as he roughly wiped his tears away. I'm not falling for it anymore. "Roxas I don't know who you are anymore. You come home in the dead of night, you run away in the rain, you're always angry and the worst bit is no matter how much we're all hurting you just can't seem to see it."

He started laughing and I raised an eyebrow at him curiously, watching as his salty tears fell into his open mouth, his eyes glowing like the sea at sundown, full of a blue fire that raged against the tide, that raged against me. I listened as he continued again, his voice a broken whisper. "You know what the worst bit is Roxas?" I stayed quiet, my lips practically sewn together. He lifted his head to the ceiling and let out a choked laugh. "It's not that Hayner got put in the hospital, it's not that you've gotten Mom and Dad arrested, it's not that you've worried your friends sick and scared them to the point where they daren't talk to you anymore, it's not that you've broken me into tiny pieces and it's not that you chased away Axel, the best thing in your life." I was about to interrupt with a snarky comment before he held up his hand and pressed on, listing of my mistakes as if they were nothing but smudges in his life. "No the worst bit Roxas, the very very worst bit, is that you lied to us all and that you're still lying. If you'd just let us in and tell us the truth we could help, but you won't and I don't understand it anymore."

"I never lied-"

"Stop lying Roxas!"

"I'm not fucking lying Sora!"

"Roxas I saw it! I was there remember? It wasn't some hillbilly you pushed in the mud, it was me! Your brother! The boy you grew up with, the kid you used to pull pranks on Dad with, the boy you used to come to when the monsters came to get you in the dark. It was me Roxas! I saw him hit you."

"You didn't see anything" I snarled, my temper rising dangerously high as he wiped away his tears and laughed at me, shaking his head and smirking at me as he began to walk towards me slowly.

"Oh but I did Roxy. I saw everything. I saw him push you back against the brick"

"Stop it Sora"

"I saw him kiss you in the rain-"

"Sora I mean it"

"I saw him punch you in the gut-"

"Sora I swear I'm warning you"

"And then I saw him punch you in the face-"

I stood and held my trembling fists down at my side, my eyes closed as I tried to control my rage. "Sora one more word and I'll-"

"And you know what the worst bit was Roxas? You know what the very worst bit was?" I stayed quiet as he stood mere inches from my nose, on perfect level with my eyes as he leaned in close and whispered against my ear. "I saw my baby brother forgive the monster that beat him as he sat crying in the rain."

"That's it!" I punched him hard and he fell back into the sink, staggered as he clutched at the metal to gain his bearings while rubbing his punctured lip. He looked up at me and sighed sadly, walking past me and towards the kitchen door, leaving me shaking with agitation and adrenaline as I breathed heavy and debated with my brain on what to do. He was at the stairs by the time I made up my mind. I ran forwards towards the bottom of the steps, looking up as he ascended them slowly. "Sora!" he turned, his head barely moving over his shoulder when he turned to look down on me. "Sora I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, please Sora. Please I don't know what to do."

He turned to face me completely, looking down on me the way only a big brother can. "Roxas Mom and Dad are in _prison_. Your friend was put in the hospital…how much more is it going to take before you realise what this creeps doing to you?"

I frowned, back on the defensive as I gulped heavily and breathed deep. "He isn't a creep Sora. I love him. It's just like you and Kairi-"

"Don't you dare Roxas! Don't you dare compare me to that beast of a boyfriend you've got. I don't go around beating up Kairi's friends okay; I don't go around setting fires and getting her parents put into jail. I don't chase away her best friend just because I'm jealous and I'd never, _ever_; beat on someone I loved Roxas. Never."

I never heard the end of his speech; I was distracted by the first bit. "How do you know it was Riku who put Hayner in the hospital?"

He smiled at me. "The pieces fit when the pieces fit Roxas. And the pieces all fit around you. What's new in your life? One giant shithead maggot of an asshole. That's what. it doesn't take a genius to figure it out, but something's spooked Hayner and I cant get him to come forwards about it to the cops-"

"Wait, What? You've talked to Hayner about this?" I stared at him dumbstruck for a moment, my anger flaring at the bottom of the stairs. "What for? What reason would you have to start snooping around my friends Sora?"

"I have every reason Roxas." He threw his arms up in the air and huffed heavily. "Why can't you see how much of a dick he's turning you into. All I wanted to do tonight was talk to you about what's happening, but all you seem to be looking for is a fight. I want to help you Roxas. Come find me when your ready to let me in." he turned away from me without another word and jogged up the steps two at a time, disappearing into the darkness and leaving me at the bottom, the tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Fine." I mumbled. "Just fine." I turned from the bottom step and entered the living room, throwing myself down onto the couch heavily and hanging my foot over the edge as I picked up the remote and flicked through the channels. Eventually I ended up staring at the screen, looking at the pictures moving but not actually watching the movie. It was late by the time I had finally managed to quiet the voices in my head and I looked at the clock dejectedly, wincing as the bright white numbers flashed three am.

I switched of the TV and looked up at the stairs over the back of the couch. Sora hasn't come down yet and the silence above seems to ring down on me with its biting black jaws, waiting for me with its cackling smile as it ushers me to give in and go to him. So I did. I got up of the couch and stretched, listening to my bones as they cracked and popped before I walked over to the steps and began to climb, the darkness swooping about me as I frowned. There was muttering coming from upstairs; a faint muttering that was quiet to the point where it was almost silent. I followed it and stopped outside of Sora's door, the stickers from when we were younger peeling away from the paint as I listened sneakily, my ear pressed lightly against the door.

"I just don't know what to do anymore, he won't talk to me… no, he just shouts instead. He's always defending that Riku kid, but I know what I saw."

I frowned and scowled. Sora was on the phone by the sounds of it, discussing my personal life openly to one of his little tramps probably. I felt the heat rise to my face as my sorrow became quickly replaced with anger, the rage burning inside of me like a red bubble that was ready to pop. My fists became clenched and I went to push open his door, to barge in and snatch the phone away and yell at him again for discussing my love life so openly to some complete stranger that I probably don't even know. But I didn't. Something stopped me, some deep curiosity that urged me to stay and listen as Sora unknowingly continued his conversation.

"It's like he's become a completely different person. I can't talk to him and he won't talk to me either. I mean we're brothers for crying out loud, we should be able to talk about these things…... no, I tried calling the cops, but they said that because I had no solid proof and it's a personal affair there was nothing they could do….…no I said that, but all they said is that I was wasting police time because they knew Roxas wouldn't come forward about it….…..no, they need him if they're gonna press charges. Otherwise it's just our word against his and no proof to back up either side."

I stepped away from the door, horrified. Sora had actually called the cops on me? That traitor!

"Look, you know Roxas better then anyone I know, even me and my parents, can't you please come and talk to him? Please, I know you've only just gone away, but things are really falling apart down here….….my parents? No, Roxas still hasn't gone down and given a statement yet because I couldn't find him all afternoon. They're looking at charges for child abuse and neglect! They could be going down for a long time if Roxas doesn't get his butt in gear….…I've tried talking to him Axel, he punched me in the face remember? I'm telling you he's turned into a complete stranger; I don't even recognise him anymore."

I shook my head in disbelief and backed away towards the top of the stairs, grasping at the railing to steady my shaking hands as I breathed deep and tried to wrap my head around the basis of what was happening, running my free hand through my hair and grasping at the strands. My best friend had left me in the hospital and run away to his mothers, promising to call and text and doing neither and now he's in line with my brother? The same brother who rang the police on me and hounds me day and night, telling me that Riku doesn't love me? What's going on, is the whole world running backwards or something?

I ran down the steps two at a time, the pain in my leg numbing as the sound exploded around my ears, deafening me to a pathetic existence as I heard Sora shouting above me, calling me back. So I kept running, grabbing my jacket of the back of the couch as I ran out the door and down the street, taking various bends and paths that lead me to a place I could seek comfort, to a home I would be welcomed into without the police or nosy threats. I ran away to Riku's.

* * *

It's been a week since I last saw Sora at my home and I haven't set foot out of Riku's house since. The night (or morning, whichever way you count it) I turned up on Riku's doorstep he smiled at me, a sad and loving smile that made me feel accepted as he held me in his arms on the doorstep, helping me inside and shushing away my problems ass he pulled me upstairs and into his bedroom. We'd had sex of course. I didn't want to, but I felt a little obligated, you know, because he was putting me up and everything. He was rough and it hurt, but he's just a passionate guy. The bites and the bruises are his way of showing he loves me.

I haven't answered my phone and I've opted for turning it of so that I can ignore the ringing. It always rings lately, but it's never from Axel. I've skipped two weeks of school, my parents are still in jail and every day Riku comes in from his school he tells me of how my friends are all out looking for me. None of them know where Riku lives though so I'm safe here, for now. But todays the day I'm going to finally confront them. I've decided to move in and live with Riku. It was his idea; he said it was so he could keep an eye on me. I think he means to keep me safe, so I said yes and today I'm going back to get my stuff. I gotta tell you I'm really scared.

Riku opted to go with me, saying how he'd make sure that Sora and the others never gave me any trouble, but I turned him down. The last thing I wanted was for Riku to get hurt over me, that would completely destroy me. I waited until Riku went to school, the kiss on my cheek lingering as I touched it before I got dressed and headed outside.

The day was misty and the wind blew hard, the rain clouds above threatening to spill over. But that was all it was, just another threat in my world. I shoved my hands into my jacket and pulled up the hood, shuffling nervously as people walked by. It felt as if they were staring. As if everyone was watching and judging me. It was suddenly cramped and the feeling of claustrophobia hit me and I ran to avoid it, jumping the back fences and running across the park's football pinch onto Fifth Street before I turned right and headed back into town, avoiding the streets and the traffic as that's where the people would be.

Eventually, after a lot of hiding and running, I finally made it back to my front door, the paranoia settling heavily on my shoulders as I pushed open the front door, grateful for the fact that it was open as I entered because I had forgotten my keys in my haste to get this over with. I closed the door behind me and entered the house, startled by the silence as I turned into the living room.

It was empty, the whole house. And it was perfectly clean as well. As if it hadn't been lived in since the last time I was here. Has Sora been staying here? Or has he decided to crash with one of his women, probably Kairi? No, he can't have been gone long. Even Sora's not so irresponsible as to leave the door unlocked while he was gone for too long. I wandered into the kitchen out of habit and walked past the family table, gliding my fingers across the smooth wood as I passed.

"So you finally showed up?" I jumped and turned around, losing my balance and falling backwards, landing hard on the tiled flooring as I looked up at him. He was standing in the doorway as bold as brass, leaning heavily against the frame as the bags swelled under his eyes, the confusion and hurt evident on his face as his shoulders seemed to heave a heavy burden. The youthful glint in his emerald eyes was gone and he stood before me a man grown, a beautifully perfect man grown. And a traitor as well, a betrayer. "What's wrong Roxas? Cat got your tongue?"

He never smiled. I stood and brushed myself of, frowning at him as he took a step towards me, still blocking my exit with his body as he looked down on me sadly, the life in his eyes gone. I didn't recognise the drone in front of me, the ragged mess that asked me questions and weaved in and out of my life. He was so much more grown up. I couldn't help wondering what had caused it. But now wasn't the time.

"Move." I mumbled, walking forwards and attempting to push past him, but he never budged and I was close enough to notice the missing bandage across his neck. Now a beautiful scar crept up the flesh around his neck, hissing its way up as it bubbled over his skin, a perfect replica of the sacrifice he had done for me. "I'm not playing with you Axel. Move"

"Who said I was playing Roxas? Just because this mess is a game for you…" he shook his head, tears falling from his eyes as he cupped my cheek gently and hiccupped when I flinched away, moving out of his grasp as if I were back in the fire and he was a part of the blaze. He retracted his fingers and I saw the hurt in his eyes before he rubbed his forehead and stepped forwards, closing the door behind him and locking it with a bronze key. Since when did the kitchen have a lock? And who gave Axel the key? "We need to talk Roxy. Sit down." It wasn't a question. I went to grab the key out of his hand and he pulled it out of my grasp, holding it above his head and frowning. "Please Roxas, I just want to talk. Sit down."

I smiled at him. Riku was right about Axel to. He's weak because of his emotions. I sat down at the table and watched as Axel took the seat opposite me, reaching for my hands before I pulled them out of his grasp, ignoring the pain in his eyes and looking out of the window. It hurt me to see him like this, to see him in pain. My heart ached and I felt it thump heavily in my chest as it beat against my ribcage painfully, beating and panging for him. But he abandoned me and betrayed me like all the others. Besides, my heart's already sold to Riku. Even if I do love Axel there's nothing I can do about it now.

He leaned back in the chair and let his tears fall freely, combing his fingers through his hair as he laughed lightly, a hollow laugh that was torn from his throat. I glanced at him wearily and watched as he looked me in the eyes, those soft green eyes of his that could melt butter.

"Why don't you start explaining Roxas? We're best friends, you can tell me anything, and you know that, right?"

I gulped heavily and fumbled with my fingers, unsure of who I could and couldn't trust. Axel had come back for me, but he'd also abandoned me, Sora had called the cops on me and my friends were hunting me like I was a piece of meat or a child that was out past their bed time, and then there was Riku. My Riku who had shown me nothing but kindness and the error of my ways, but there was something unfulfilling about him, something dodgy and fake... What should I do?

* * *

There you go guy's, sorry it took a while to get up but there has been a lot of bad stuff going on where I am at the minute :( My schedule is extremely busy because I'm also a part time carer for a relative and I'm starting my book as well :) But I will try to update this as often as possible I promise.

**Guest - I know, Roxas can ba bit blind and a bit dumb. He needs to open his eyes and see Axel soon before he walks away and leaves forever, that would be oober horrifying :( Thankyou for reviewing :D**

**Kito - Thank's, it's always good to hear :) and I think Roxas could do with a good slap, just to wake him up mind, not to hurt him. Axel would probs go bonkers if that happened, not that it hasnt already happened in the story...anywho, thanks for reviewing ^_^**

**L - Hello again ^_^ and I know but it was necessary that I be evil once more, but don't worry, Axel is back! And I know he's a bit soppy in this chapter, but all will be revealed in the next chapter. Axel is not going to roll over and be bitched like Sora, I can assure you. He wants his answers :) Thankyou so so much ^_^ You have to be one of my most favouritest peopel ever :D and sure we can email :) You can always reach me at _red herrings trout_ . co. uk (no spaces) and I always check my emails at least once a day so no problems there :) Thankyou for reviewing **

**To all my reviewers, favers and alerters. Thankyou so much for all your support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) **


	14. Chips, questions and understanding

I sat across from him and stared at the table, my voice caught in my throat as the annoying clock ticked on and on at me from across the room, it's annoying chime drilling at the inside of my skull. Axel's sat across from me, waiting patiently as he has been for the past fifteen minutes. He's grown up so much. I mean, there's something so different about him. His soft eyes are a little bit less colourful, his shoulders are squared instead of slumped and he analyses everything before he speaks. It's almost as if I'm talking to a complete stranger. He obviously doesn't feel it. He's been staring at me straight for what seems like forever and the silence is killing me. I never thought I'd feel so awkward around my best friend.

"Roxas? You know this will be a lot easier if you start…"

He left the question hanging in the air and I failed to pick up on it. I knew I would have to answer his questions, but why should I really? I mean, it's my life. What right does he have to come barging into my life after walking out on me? So I shrugged my shoulders and looked up into his pale face, the bags under his eyes sending shudders along my spine. "There's nothing to start on."

"Really?" He raised one of his small eyebrows and gave me a sly grin that left my lips tugging upwards. He always could make me smile, even when I really didn't want to. I could never be mad at him, he'd always just give me one of those winning smiles and I'd be sent into a fit of giggles. I can't count the amount of time's it's gotten me in trouble at school. This smile had the exact same effect. Here I am, being blackmailed and interrogated, and yet one of his small smiles has me grinning like a Cheshire cat that's just been caught with his paw in the cookie jar. "C'mon Roxas, how much of a fool are you going to play me for before you call it quits?"

I laughed a little out loud and leaned back in my chair as he leaned forwards, resting his head in his right hand and smiling. The awkwardness evaporated around me and I felt the bricks on my shoulder loosen away. "I don't have to play you for a fool Axel, you do that bit all by yourself."

He laughed aloud and sniggered behind his hand, giving me a shifty gaze as his eyes sparkled with mischief. "Ooh Roxas, feisty talk from one so young."

"Hey, I'm the same age as you!"

"Nope, I got held back two years remember. Technically I'm older." He poked his tongue out at me and thumbed his chest proudly, as if being held back was something to be proud of. I rolled my eyes, pushing my chair backwards and scraping the wood against the tiles as I glanced about the kitchen. "So…you gonna start explaining or should I just start firing questions?"

The cloud of rain fell over me again and I glanced back to him with begging eyes, asking him not to put me through this. But the curiosity and adultness was back in his eyes. He wasn't going to let me escape out of this one alive, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try. "There's nothing to explain."

"What did Sora see?"

And so interrogation time begins. I huffed and blew my fringe out of my eyes. "Nothing. Me and Riku were having an argument and Sora thought he saw something, but he didn't."

"And you're sure of this?"

"Positive."

"Swear down on my life."

"Yeah." The nervousness grew on my shoulders and I felt the heat flood my face in a wash of pink and red.

"Say it."

I rolled my eyes and closed them dramatically, squirming in my seat as he squinted at me. "Aw, c'mon Axel-"

"No Roxas. If nothing happened I want to hear you say it. Swear down on my life." He stared at me, the coldness in his eyes scaring me slightly as he straightened up and waited.

"No."

"So Sora did see something happen?"

"I never said that-"

"You as good as did-"

"Will you stop cutting me of!" I snapped at him and he stared at me, shocked. I never meant it, but the heat in my face was rising and I could feel the embarrassment drench me. He had no right to be doing this to me. No right.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, looking away from me and running his hand through his hair, a clear sign to me that he was genuinely upset and nervous. That's normally the only time he plays with his hair and I had to say I was just as shocked to hear the words drip from his lips. Axel was a stubborn hooligan full of spirit and life, a teenager who never said no and who always lived life on the edge of life so he could live it to the full. And here he was having regrets, fumbling over his words as I broke the foundations our friendship was built so perfectly upon.

"It's okay." I muttered, my throat sore and scratchy. "I just… I don't understand Axel." The tears were falling down my nose before I realised they were there and I rubbed them roughly of my face with the sleeve of my jacket while he sat in silence. "Why did you leave? Without even saying goodbye…you never even called me, not a single text came my way." I looked up from the floor and into his baffled eyes. "Why did you abandon me Axel? Why leave me and then come charging back into my life as if you own it, huh? Answer me that Axel and I'll tell you everything. Because I'm not the only one who has some explaining to do, am I?"

"You didn't get any of my texts?" He asked confusedly, the question not only in his words, but also in his voice and his emerald eyes seemed to bleed tears of their own. I raised an eyebrow as my ager began to overtake my sympathy again.

"Of course I didn't. You never sent me any. You cut me out of your life and then you came charging back when Sora started weeping lies to you on the phone. All I want to know is why Axel. I can understand that you left, but did you really have to slice me out of your life so coldly. Couldn't you have at least waited for me to wake up before you tore out my heart? Or are you just that much of a coward?" I snarled the last bit, wanting him to feel guilty for the pain he put me through.

"Roxas I never cut you out of my life! How can you think that, I'm your best friend? I texted you every night, every morning. I rang every hour of the day I could and I never once gave up on you. I was going to come back home but…" he dwindled of and I scoffed at the weak tone in his voice. It was kind of sad really, and he sounded like he was telling the truth, but my phone never once rang with his name across it, it never once beeped with a text that read _'AXEL'_ across the top. He had to be lying.

"But what? You couldn't face me? You couldn't stand what you'd left behind?"

"I never did this to you Roxas. I never-"

"You could have come back. I needed you and you weren't there! What kind of a best friend does that?" We were arguing full out, the fury in both our hearts igniting as the words grew hotter and angrier. But he never once raised his voice or his hand against me. Instead he sat, and he listened and he watched, he waited and he cried, watching me tear my heart out as I placed it on the table and kicked it at the wall. What was left of it anyway. Now it's just a tattered mess. A tattered, broken, shattered, failure of a mess. But it's mine, and what right does he have to play with it?

"Roxas I never left you. I tried every day to contact you, more than once. You never answered. All it ever did was say that your number was blocked… what was I supposed to do? I couldn't come home because my mom needed me." He had said it all in such a rush I had almost missed it, and I squinted at him in disbelief.

"You're lying. You're not blocked on my phone; you're listed under important emergency contacts." I shook my head slightly and pulled my phone out of my pocket, resting it on the table shakily as I blushed at my words. "Prove it."

I wasn't asking and he knew it. He pulled out his phone and placed it on loud speaker, turning it to face me as he punched in my number and waited. I pulled the phone towards me from across the table and waited with it in my hand, staring at the small green lines that moved across the screen before a giant X appeared on the screen and the operators voice rang out.

"_I'm sorry. Your call has been diverted. Please refrain from calling this number in the future. Thank you for your cooperation, have a nice day. BEEP." _

I stared at the phone incredulously; both my eyebrows raised as I placed his phone delicately back on the wood and pushed it towards him softly. My phone remained untouched and the screen hadn't so much as flickered. "I don't understand…" I mumbled, looking up to him as he smiled down on me softly. "Axel I never…I never Axel I swear…"

I pulled my knees up to rest on the seat I was sat on and rested my chin on them, frowning as the confusion bubbled inside me. I never saw Axel get up from his chair, but I felt the arms he draped over my shoulder and I saw him kneel down in front of me, brushing the small bubbles of liquid away from my eyes as he grazed his fingers over my cheek delicately, frowning as I pulled away and flinched. "I know you never Roxas, I know. Please I want to help you. Please, just tell me everything."

I closed my eyes and a gurgling noise came out of my throat, a mixture between a sob and a choked cry. I never blocked Axel's number from my phone, and the last person to have my phone, I think, was Riku. The night we first had…well, sex. The night he sent that text to everybody saying I was running away. But there must be a reason why he did it, there just has to be. But what reason can he justify for sending that bogus text and blocking my best friend from my life? None that I could think of, that's for sure. But I should still give him the benefit of the doubt, until its been proven anyway…right?

"I can't tell you Axel. Riku…he'd-"

Axel moved his hand away from my face and touched my knee instead, giving me a soft squeeze and smiling at me slightly, his eyes glowing a beautiful green that had me lost in their perfection. "Riku won't do anything Roxas. Not while I'm here." I looked at him and he stood up, pulling me with him. "I promise. Why don't you go through to the living room and I'll bring us through something to eat. God alone knows you're as skinny as a stick insect. I'll text Sora and the others and ask them to leave us alone for a while so we can catch up, sound good?"

I nodded numbly, not really sure of what to think or say, and walked into the living room, closing the doors behind me as I went. The couch was soft and I missed the smell that fell of the cushion in dusty folds, the smell of mom and dad and the good old days that came when I was little. The good old days that had been and gone and forgotten me as they went. The living room was quiet and the silence outside startled me a little. Even the birds seemed to be tongue tied today. I was broken out of my stupor as Axel came through to the living room with a large bowl and his phone clamped between his ear and shoulder, his left hand tightly enclosed around an open bottle of Ketchup.

"Yeah yeah, we're just gonna talk a few things through and stuff… no, no. You don't have to come round, in fact I think it'd be better if me and Rox had some privacy…Yeah, I'll let you know when." He winked my way and grinned at me, but I was too numb to return the favour and instead I watched as he sat opposite me and poured a generous amount of Ketchup on top of the, as what I now know to be, chips. It's kind of funny really, chips are about the only thing Axel can cook, and here he is raiding my fridge to feed me. "Yep, bye." He closed the phone with a _snap_ and threw it onto the table, looking at me and putting the Ketchup on the floor as he handed me the chips in a large blue dish.

The sight of the chips made me feel sick, and yet my stomach rumbled as the smell wafted my way and I began devouring them as if I had been starved half my life. Absentmindedly shoving them into my mouth two and three at a time while Axel grinned and stretched across the couch, making himself completely at home. "So Axel, what made you come back?" I asked between a mouthful of heavenly deliciousness, seriously, Axel can't cook much, but what he does cook is fucking amazing.

He gave me one of those sly smirks again as I kicked of my trainers and pulled up my feet to get comfy. "I've got an idea Rox, how 'bout I ask a question and then you. Sound fair?"

I shrugged, seeing no other way around the problem before me. "Sure."

"But you've gotta answer truthfully." I smiled as he squinted at me, reaching forwards and holding out his hand. "Pinkie swear?" I laughed and shook my head at the stupidity of it all before I reached forwards and hooked his pinkie with my own, creating a solemn promise I was forced not to break. "Good, now I get to go first."

"What! How come you get to go first?"

"Because I went through all the trouble to come down and see your sorry arse." He smirked at me and stole a chip from my bowl, smothering it in Ketchup from the bottle before he devoured it. I made a mental note to keep a close eye on the rest of my food, hugging it to my chest as he laughed at me and licked his lips.

"Fine, you go first." I mumbled, rummaging in the bottom of the bowl for another chip that was a bit more full of potato.

"Okay," he looked at me strangely and I could see the cogs in his mind turning noisily. "What do you see in Riku? I mean, why did you even ever start dating him?"

I stopped my rummaging and stared at him confused, one of my eyebrows lifted as he waited patiently, his feet dangling over the end of my sofa and kicking in the air. "Why do you wanna know that?"

"Bah bah bah bah bah, just answer."

I shifted a little uncomfortably and continued my rummaging, no longer interested in the food in the dish, but just looking for something to do. "You remember when you were sick?"

"Roxas, there have been plenty of times I've been sick." He smirked at me and I laughed a little.

"No not twagging, I mean actually sick. That time when you had the flu real bad."

"Oh yeah, what about it?"

"Well, you were in the hospital on the east side of town. That's were Seifer and his gang are, remember. Mom and dad were always at work late and Sora was with Kairi so I had to walk there, I couldn't get a buss because I never had any money left over remember?"

"I remember, the first few times you came to visit you were black and blue." He laughed but there was no humour in it. It was sad and hollow and I knew he was thinking about it. "I was threatening to kick Seifer's butt 'till the cow's came home. I would have done too if it weren't for stupid security." He grumbled, clenching his fist and closing his eyes tightly.

"Yeah well, I came a few times before that too, but you were always asleep. I was so scared Ax. They said that it was touch and go for a moment there…I didn't know what to do. I just kept visiting and sitting there, waiting for you to wake up and scream about it all being a joke and laugh at me…but you didn't, and the days got longer. I'd just sit there in silence and wait until Reno came back with a cup of coffee to tell me to go home." He stared at me and waited with baited breath, hanging on to every word I said. "Well I was walking to hospital one day, to see you, and Seifer and his gang followed me." I frowned at the memory and took a shaky breath.

"They chased me down an alley and closed of the exit…nobody came to help Ax. Nobody. I mean, the streets weren't deserted or nothing, it was the middle of the day for crying out loud, but they all just kept on walking. As if I deserved what Seifer was going to give me…he pulled out a gun and he laughed at me, hitting me in the face with it while his friends laughed…and then he showed up."

"Who?"

I smiled a little and looked up from my bowl of chips at Axel's stoic face. "Riku. He showed up out of nowhere and saved me. I don't even remember how it happened, but he was so sweet after it. He personally escorted me to hospital to see you from then on out and we just kind of hooked up and started dating…" I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't really know what else to add."

I watched as Axel gulped hard and looked away from me. "You two started dating while I was in hospital?"

"Don't say it like that Ax." I moaned, "you make me sound like a right bitch of a friend."

"No no…I get it." he smiled at me. "I'm glad he stopped those bastards from hurting you."

"Thanks…so it's my turn to ask a question now, right?" He nodded at me and I bit my lip in thought. "Okay, why did it take you so long to come back? Why didn't you come back sooner?" My heart hurt a little and my voice choked when I asked the question, as if the answer might be too painful.

"Because my mom was sick. I was helping her out for a little while, you know how she get's, always worried and asking questions."

"She got sick?" I felt my heart speed up a little; Axel's mom was such a nice lady. She really was, a sweeter person I had yet to meet. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, just a broken leg and a few stitches. She got in a car crash and she asked me to go up for a while. That's all. Now about you and Riku, what's going on Roxas? I want the truth about everything."

I raised an eyebrow at him and frowned. "I thought we were playing a question game?"

"Yes, and that's my question. What's happened with you and Riku, from the time you got together up until now? I want to know everything."

"Aw c'mon Ax, that's one hell of a question." I moaned, picking at my food and rolling it about in my bowl.

"Yeah and it's my question. You are obliged by the rules of the pinkie promise to answer." He smirked at me smugly and I shifted uncomfortably, like a salmon caught by a bear when swimming upstream; I was stuck. I didn't want to reveal the secrecy of my somewhat awkward relationship, but I also didn't want to break the trust mine and Axel's friendship was built up on.

"Axel-"

"What are you afraid of Roxas?" he was staring at me, not judgingly, but curiously. He got up and wandered over to my couch in his pink socks. He sat next to me and nudged my shoulders lightly with his own. "I'm here Rox, you can tell me anything, I'll never judge you."

I wavered for a moment, and I don't know what happened, but something in my head clicked. A light turned on and no matter how much I shifted into the shadows I couldn't escape the brightness of the bulb. Riku has hurt me in so many ways, and I've had to keep it bottled up inside for so long. The pain just seems to grown and the more I protect him the more alone I actually am. It never get's any easier. People say it does, but they're liars. The pain never eases and it never leaves, it follows you around and grows to the point were you're suffocating in your own pathetic existence. And that's the predicament I'm in at the minute. And here Axel is, holding a torch in the dark tunnel that is my life and handing me a way out…all I have to do is reach out and take his hand…so why is that so hard?

I buried my face in my arms atop my knees and shuddered. I'm so confused, everything and everyone just wants so much and I'm scared I'll upset them. I can't please everybody, it's just not possible. And yet none of them understand…

"Roxas? Roxas?" I heard Axel sigh before I felt him pull me to the right and his arms wrapped around me once more. He drew me into his chest and I felt his soft hands brush my hair lightly as he whispered into my ear, shushing me lightly. "What happened to you Rox? What is it your so scared to tell me?"

"Axel I can't. I want to, but I can't. You don't understand." I went to pull away but his hands held fast and I found myself lodged between his chest that concealed his rapidly beating heart and his protective arms.

"Then explain it to me Roxas. Please, I've never known you be like this before." I haltered for a moment, my eyes still closed tight and buried beneath both mine and Axel's arms. I felt five years old. As if all the bad in the world couldn't get to me while Axel held me. "Roxas, whatever it is that's scared you, whatever it is that has you spooked, I wont ever let it scare you again. I promise."

And that was it. That was all it took for me to reveal my deepest darkest secrets to my best friend. The words came stumbling from my lips before I had chance to stop them, before I even had a chance to think about what I was saying.

"Axel, you remember when I didn't come back for my skateboard and I told you that Seifer had beaten me up?" He never said anything, perhaps he was too afraid to incase I stopped talking, but the damned flow of words was spilling out of me faster than my brain could register. I just needed to tell someone, anyone. And Axel was my best friend; there was nobody better to tell. "Well it wasn't Seifer…it was Riku. I didn't know what to tell anybody, I was just so scared and then he said I deserved it and that it would make me a better person and I just covered it up to stop Sora from panicking but then Demy found out and he told Hayner and then you started to figure it out and it just all got out of hand." I started shaking, my body losing control as he held me and stayed silent, his grip getting that little bit tighter.

"And then Hayner saw it and Riku put him in the hospital and I was so close to telling you everything, but he saw the kiss and he took me to this place and he made me…he…he did…" I shook my head and bit back the tears as the words became to painful to say. My throat felt as if it were on fire, my lungs burned, my heart ached and my mind raced with my confessions, scared that if I talked for too long Riku would catch me and hurt both me and Axel. "He made me do something I didn't want to do. And then he told everyone I ran away, but I didn't I swear, and I thought you were in the fire so I ran in after you. Then mom and dad got arrested when I punched Riku in the face, and I was leaving your house when he trapped me around a corner and hit me again…that's what Sora saw Axel. I'm so scared I don't know what to do, I love him to pieces, but I don't understand why he keeps hurting me. I thought at first he was just correcting me for being bad, but then it got worse and worse and I just bottled it up…Axel I need help….Axel?"

I lifted my head from my arms and looked at Axel's trembling hands in front of me as he squeezed his fingers to the point where they were turning blue. I couldn't see his face, but I heard his rough panting on the back of my neck and the frustration seemed to radiate of him. "Axel?"

* * *

There you go guy's :) Sorry it took so long to get up and I hope it doesnt seem a bit rushed. But I wanted it to seem like Roxas had all his emotions built up and that he let them out in a desperate fit for acceptance so that he could explain himself. I hope it came across right :S Anyway, thankyou to all my favers, reviewers and alerters :D You are all amazin. So what do you think guy's? What will Axel's rection be? :)

**DK - Yesh, Roxas should defo explain it all and just let Axel in :) But the question now is how will Axel react :) thankyou so much for reviewing :D (ps. Akuroku parties sound fun :D ) **

**ur fave Axel - I know Roxas is an asshold :( it's a babd thing too, but i want it to come across as him feeling trapped and alone and when someone feels that they become defensive. They defend the only thing they can be sure about. But he should defo hurry up and open up to Ael, hopefully this chapter moves it along a bit :D and no I couldnt hurt Axel even if I tried, he's one of my fave's ^_^ Thankyou for reviewing **

**(oh, please forgive any mistakes, I havent proof read my work yet ^_^ atankyou)**


	15. Watch the clock

The silence stilled around me for what seemed like forever, and I found myself not daring to move in case I sent Axel into a mad fit of rage like Riku. He was still panting, his hands trembling around me, his breathing falling short of my neck in small sharp breaths. His breath is so warm… "Axel, are you okay?" My voice was so much quieter then I expected it to be and I couldn't open my eyes for fear that I'd see his angry face staring at me from behind.

He swallowed and his arms shuddered that little bit harder. "I'm…I'm fine. Just fine…"

His voice sounded strange, as if he wasn't all there when he was talking to me, as if he were daydreaming and I was just some inconvenient truth pulling him back down to Earth. I opened my eyes as I felt him rock my body lightly, tilting me back and forth as he shushed me quietly when I tried to speak, his tears falling against the back of my neck as he shook his head against my hair. "Please don't cry Axel." I felt a tear escape my eyes and slide down my cheek, falling into my mouth as my lips trembled, salty and sweet to the touch. "Please don't cry…I'm sorry Axel…I'm so sor-"

"No! No, don't you apologise Roxas. Please don't apologise…please." He was begging, the tone in his voice broken and soft, even if it held a bite of regret to it. "Oh Roxas, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come and find me? I knew something was wrong, I just knew it, but I was too God damn soft-"

"Axel it wasn't your fault. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Please, please don't hate me. I never meant for any of this to happen ever. You're not soft, I was just so scared-"

"Of me?" He sounded hurt and the ring in his voice choked on the sobs caught in his throat. "You were scared of me? Am I that bad a person?"

"No Axel, no that's not what I meant," he went silent and my voice trailed of, both of us sitting there in the awkwardness that had settled heavily on our shoulders, the bowl of chips lying cold and forgotten on the floor. The quiet was so loud that I could hear the ticking in the clock on the kitchen wall, the clock that promised a slow and painful pass of time. It was strange, here I was, with my shared confession, and instead of condemning me for my stupidity, like any other soul I know would, Axel only has it in himself to berate his own being. As if he truly believes he could have saved me or stopped what happened. But I know he couldn't have, and there's nothing he has to feel sorry for. Not in my eyes anyway.

Eventually one of us cracked the spell that had overtaken us, and I was surprised to find that it was Axel who spoke first, his voice a muddled mess as he swallowed the spit in his mouth and span me around, forcing me to face him as he sat with one of his legs on either side of me on the couch, my own legs tucked up towards my chest as I folded my arms across them. I closed my eyes tight and waited for all he had to say, for the lecture I knew he would force out from his frozen lips.

But no words came from him and instead I felt him pull my arms away softly, bringing them to my side gently before he pulled my legs down and took my hands in his own. "Roxas. Roxas open your eyes."

I closed them tighter and scrunched up my nose, not wanting to face the punishment that would surely come. But then I felt his thumb glide over my hand in a way that gave me tingles as he raised his hand and straightened out the wrinkles on my nose with a finger, laughing lightly as he went and causing me to sneeze, forcing me to open my eyes. "Wrinkles never did suit you Rox." I laughed a little and he continued. "I'm not mad at you Roxas, but I do wish you would have come to me sooner." The tears on his eyes glistened and I frowned a little.

"Axel-"

"But I don't blame you. C'mon, you look like you need to go get cleaned up. I'll still be here when you're done."

He stood and pulled me up with him, pulling me close and hugging me to his torso fiercely as he squeezed his arms around me. My face was squashed against his chest and I inhaled his scent deeply, the fresh spices of cinnamon and sugar invading my senses as I smiled against his t-shirt, wrapping my arms back around him. "Thank you Axel."

It was just a murmur, and I hadn't meant for him to hear it, but he laughed against my hair and I swear my head became dizzy with both embarrassment and excitement. "No problem Roxas." He released me and ushered me towards the stairs and towards the bathroom, tapping me lightly on the lower back and offering me a sweet smile as he brushed away the tears on his nose, heading for the kitchen.

Climbing the stairs, I smiled. I literally smiled. It felt so good to have told someone, to have the weight lifted from my shoulders. But now what? I frowned as I entered the bathroom and closed the door behind me, locking it and flinching at the click that resounded around me. What was I going to do? I had to go back to Riku, that much was for certain…but what about Axel? I couldn't leave him again could I? After all he'd done for me…

I pulled of my clothes with a confused head and stepped into the shower, turning the water to a scorching hot and standing beneath it till my skin prickled and tingled beneath the burning water. It felt good, in a bad way. I leaned forwards in the shower and let the water fall down my head, watching as it pooled in the bottom and spread between my toes, draining down the plug at the bottom. I wish my pains and fears would drain away like that. I wish they'd wash away from me as if they were water. But they won't and now I'm left with the horrible decision I was so easily faced with so many weeks ago. My best friend, or my boyfriend? My family, or my lover?

I banged my head against the brick to try and clear it, but only resulted in a banging headache that pulsed through my mind. I still love Riku, or at least I think I do, but there's something there for Axel as well. Something I can't keep hiding. And then there's my family, mom and dad and Sora, I can't keep putting them through this either. And my friends, what about them? The unconscious thought of Hayner lying in that hospital bed plagued my mind once again and I had to force the bile in the back of my throat back down into my stomach.

Riku has hurt so many of the people I love…how do I forgive him for that? I laughed hollowly in the shower, the water dropping down my face and merging with my skin. I can't believe that only this morning I was going to move in with him, to forgive him and live my life in the fear and shadow of uncertainty. But now…but now….Now what? Where do I go from here?

I thought long and hard as the water drenched me, scratching all of the noise beyond the shower curtain into oblivion while I stood and pondered over everything, trying to make sense of the puzzle pieces that just didn't fit. I don't know how long I spent in the shower mulling things over, but by the time I finally managed to pull myself out of it my skin was pruned and damp no matter how much I dried it. I stepped out of the shower, the fluffy towel tucked around my waist, and shuffled into my bedroom, my head still a mess of thoughts and bubbles that I just couldn't seem to escape.

I pulled a tracksuit from my wardrobe and pulled them on, not bothering with boxers or socks as I pulled on the baggy black and orange trimmed bottoms and the oversized hoodie that hung down to my knees and covered my arms with the sleeves. I smiled, it felt really good to be able to let loose and not care about my appearance. It's funny, before Riku, I never used to care about how I looked. I turned to stare in the mirror and frowned as I turned on a side, one hand moving to my front as the other rested on my back and pushed inwards. My waist seems to have gotten smaller, and my frame weaker and frailer, as if I'm a shrunken shell of what I once was.

Shaking my head I shrugged it of, blowing my wet fuzzy fringe out of my eyes and heading for the door in my bare feet, not bothering to put on shoes or socks as I made my way down the steps. And that's when I heard the whispering and muffled voices at the bottom, the concealment of secrets running around the house invisibly. I walked up to the front door quietly and took a deep breath, confusion and bewilderment shrouding my senses as I pushed the door open and waited.

Inside Axel was stood at the back door with his arms folded and a deep frown set across his lips, Sora was sat at the table, fresh tears dried upon his swollen lids as Kairi cuddled close to him and shushed him. Demyx was sat opposite Sora, Hayner on one side of him and Zexion on the other as they all looked up at Axel with a mix of confusion and sorrow. And then they saw me and I felt the heat rush to my face before the anger hit me. Sora went to rush towards me, but Kairi, and why she was there I don't have a clue, pulled him down and shook her head at him. Everyone else just stared at me, as if I was supposed to say something. But what? _Hey, I'm so glad you all could make it; I just wanted to talk to you all about my abusive boyfriend and reveal to you all my deepest darkest secrets_. No! I wouldn't do that. And how dare Axel fucking betray me like that! I told him all of that in confidence. How could he?

"Roxas-"

Axel had started, stepping forwards of the door slightly, but I cut across him and growled back at him. "What the hell Axel? Why would you do this? Why!" It wasn't a question anymore and he flinched and looked down and away from me as I talked, staring at the floor as if it were more worthy of his gaze then me.

"Roxas don't shout at Axel, he just called us here to help-"

"Oh why don't you just shut up Sora! I don't need any of you're help. I don't need any of you!"

Kairi spoke up next, still staring at the table as she whispered into the silence. "Please Roxas; you know that's not true."

"Not true? Not true! What, and you're going to give me a lecture about my life now? You've been dating my brother less then a year Kairi; don't try acting like we're family!"

"She was only trying to help Roxas-" Sora started, but again I cut him of and started forward, scoffing at his words as an anger bubble popped inside me. I really didn't want to shout at them. I love them, all of them. But the shame I'm feeling just seems to control me. No matter what I do it feels like they're judging me, as if they're all putting me on the spot before a trial and they want me to beg and squirm in front of them, to admit I was wrong and that I'm a failure.

"No Sora she was being nosy, just like you was the other day."

"I know what I saw Roxas. I know it and no matter what you say it won't change it! I'm not backing down on this one." Sora looked nervously over at Demyx, Kairi, Hayner and Zexion as they gave him questioning glances, asking a silent question.

"Roxas, dude, what's going on? I feel like I'm the last to know about a party or something." Demyx mumbled, earning himself a nudge in the ribs from Zexion's elbow as I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"…you mean you don't know?" I asked.

"Know what Roxas?" Hayner sighed, scratching his head and looking between everyone there. "I just got a text of Axel saying I had to come down and sit with you for a bit, keep you company and stuff. Cuz you were lonely and a bit down." He looked up at Axel and I followed his gaze.

"Is this true Ax?" My breath was coming in short sharp pants and I felt my rage disappear in a wash of embarrassment as heat flooded to my cheeks.

He looked up at me from across the table and nodded at me, swallowing back his words as he looked at me, staring through me, as if I had betrayed him by accusing him. And I felt the deepest pit of shame I've sunk into yet. And I found that all I wanted to do in the whole wide world, was run up and hug him, begging him to forgive me and to tell him I'm sorry a thousand times over, knowing that it wouldn't be enough. But I stayed still, my feet glued to the floor.

"I just figured you'd want some company." He mumbled. "While I go out." He looked at the others, walking past them as he moved around the table and walked up to me, placing a gentle arm on my shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a minute Rox? Outside?"

I nodded and he pulled me into the hallway, closing the door behind us as he went and guiding me further down the hallway until we stopped outside the gas cupboard that rested beneath the stairs. "Axel-" I was going to apologise, but this time he cut me of and looked at me with a hard stare that left my eyes swimming with tears.

"Where does you're dad keep his jackets Roxas?"

I stared at him with furrowed brows for a minute before I pointed to the cupboard, watching as he pulled out several of my dad's many jackets, sorting through them before he came across one he fancied. The one he chose was light, despite it being made of black leather, and the hood on it was made of a thick grey cloth that even covered my dad's face down to his eyes. It was one of his old army jackets, and the badge on the front was a flying eagle with scraped silver paint on the wings. "Axel why do you want one of my dad's jackets?" He ignored me and placed the jacket on, looking in the mirror in the living room as he zipped it up and emptied the pockets, rushing around with glazed eyes and a worried head. I followed him into the living room and asked again, but still I got no answer.

"Where does you're dad keep his tools Roxas?"

"Why-"

"Roxas I don't have time for this. Where are his tools?" He held my face softly as I flinched from his raised voice and hugged me tight, sniffling as he pulled back and smiled. "I just gotta go fix Reno's car and it's a little chilly out is all. Please help me Roxas, please."

The desperation in his voice sliced through me and I managed a weak mumble, loving the feeling of his soft warm hand against my cold face and hating the fact that it disappeared so quickly. "They're in the shed out back."

No sooner had I finished my sentence then he was gone again, locking the front door this time and pocketing the keys, giving me a small sad smile as he walked past me and grabbed my hand, leading me through the kitchen and out the back door where he had been resting when I first walked in, ignoring the questioning stares and muffled voices that came from all around us.

Outside was dark and clouds threatened to pour from above, waiting to spill their load above us as the thunder rolled and clapped amongst the grey. I was still in bare feet and Axel, rather then letting me stop for my trainers, picked me up and carried me bridal style over the grass, ignoring my yelps and protests as he jogged across the grass and placed me in a neat pile on the pavement near the shed. Unbolting the shed door he stepped inside and turned on the light, gulping while I followed and watched curiously. Axel was acting strange, really strange. And it was beginning to scare me a little.

I walked over to a red tool box and opened it, filtering through the tools without knowing what it was I was actually looking for. I turned back to Axel to ask what he needed and froze as I watched him pick up a hefty looking metal crowbar. I stared in shock as he lifted it up the sleeve of the jacket and concealed it beneath the cloth, testing its weight as he did a practice swing before turning round and stopping when he saw me staring at him.

"Axel…what are you doing? Why would you need a crowbar to fix Reno's truck?" I knew it was a lie, and that he wasn't really fixing anything. The real question was what was he going to destroy?

He never answered me. He just walked back over and picked me up, ignoring my objections again as he held me delicately and walked back across the grass. My questions fell on deaf ears as we crossed the lawn, but as we reached the back door and he put me back down again, I stood firm and crossed my arms, refusing to budge until he gave me my answer. "Axel, please tell me. Why do you need that? What are you going to do with it?"

He looked at me and gave me a soft smile, pulling the hood up and over his face as Sora stepped out of the house and placed a hand on my shoulder. But I shrugged it of and took a step towards Axel, throwing myself at him in a desperate hug to try and make him stay. Whatever he plans to do, it can't be good. Not if it involves a weapon like that. "Axel please." I mumbled, burying my face in my dad's jacket and drowning myself in the scent of smoke and musk. "Please tell me. I don't want you to go."

I was crying again as he hugged me tight and lowered his lips to my ear, his breath tickling my skin as the rain began to fall slowly, dropping from the sky in slow sad tears of regret. "I've got to do this Roxas." His voice was broken, as if he had spent so long trying to convince himself that what he was about to say was right. "I have to protect you, because I love you. I can't have him hurting the one thing that makes my life whole. Please understand me Roxas, I love you. I hope that's enough for you to forgive me."

I stood stunned as he brushed a kiss on my cheek and moved away, turning to Sora and asking him to look after me as he pulled away. But I couldn't let him go; I couldn't let him face Riku because only I know what he's capable of. I can't let Axel go. I just can't! "Axel please, please Axel don't go. Please." I shoved Sora of me again and grabbed hold of my dad's coat, burying my face in his torso and refusing to let go as he pried me of. "Please don't go Axel, please."

"I have to Roxas-"

"No Axel, please I'm begging you. You don't know him like I do. You don't know what he'll do-"

"What's he worst that could happen?" Axel laughed, but it was hollow and I knew that he knew exactly what could happen. And what probably would.

I ignored Sora's puzzled face as I shook my head and looked up at him, urging him to stay as I bit my lip. "Please Axel, please stay with me."

"Roxas," he rubbed the side of my arms. "I promise I won't be gone long. I promise-"

"But you can't promise that Axel! You don't know what he's like. I'll go with you-" I started forwards before he frowned and pushed me back lightly, forcing me into Sora's arms when I stumbled, frowning as they clamped around me.

"You can't come with me Roxas, I told you I wont let him hurt the one I love anymore-"

"So does that mean I have to watch him kill the only one I love instead, the only one I've ever loved? Because that's what he'll do Axel. That's what he's been planning to do for a long time! Every time I took a bruise or a cut, every time I took a fall or a punch. It was for you Axel, because with each bruise and each hit, I knew you'd be safe for that little while longer." I tried to pull out of Sora's grasp but he held my hands behind my back so all I could do was struggle. But looking up at Axel I knew my words had hit home. And one of my biggest secrets was out.

He swallowed hard and looked away from me, ignoring my tears as I pleaded with him to come back inside and forget I had ever opened my stupid mouth. But he didn't. And I watched as Axel, my best friend who I had come to love as my other half, put one leg on the fence that led onto the back alley and climbed over it, disappearing into the rain as I sat and cried on the back door steps, mumbling to him to come back and forget it all. But he wouldn't, and there was nothing I could do now to bring him back. Not with Sora and the others waiting to babysit me.

I let Sora cuddle me softly, and I heard him shush me as I hiccupped against him. I don't know when I went back inside, and I don't know how I got into the living room. But the fire was on when I came to my senses and I was cuddled between Hayner and Sora on the sofa, the TV blaring as a movie played on the screen. Popcorn was passed around and Sora refused to move it from my lap until I took at least a few bites, so I did. But I didn't taste the food and I didn't hear any of their words. I just sat and watched the clock, listening to the droning of the ever abundant tick tock.


	16. Running is the answer

**WARNING - VIOLENCE LATER ON IN THE CHAPTER. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MISS THIS CHAPTER**

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It was past midnight when Demyx and Sora fell asleep. My head kept swivelling between the front door, the back door, and the clock, but I couldn't help it. Axel's out there, with Riku and my phone has stayed silent. Granted Axel can't text me, I'll have to get Zexion to have a look at my phone for me, but Riku hasn't texted me either. And I don't mean that as a bad thing, but he hasn't texted me all day! That has to be a bad thing, no matter which way you slice it.

Kairi's snoozing next to me. She desperately wants to fall asleep, I can tell. And my brother is just mocking her with his head in her lap, snoring like a baby in a pram while she looks at the TV, but she's not watching it, I can tell that too. Her eyes are all glazed over and crusted at the sides, her fingers manoeuvring through my brother's hair as he moans and rolls over in his sleep, facing her stomach and grinning. I wonder, could Kairi be…

I shrugged it of. I have my secrets and they have theirs. I'd be a hypocrite for trying to pry. Zexion is slumped across from me, one of my mom's large books laid open on his lap as he reads back and forth, flicking the page into the silence every so often. Why is it silent? Because Hayner put the TV on mute, insisting that it was rude to play it loudly while others were sleeping. I don't mind, but I wish something would kill the ticking of the clock. Axel's been gone hours. And now there's a knot in my stomach that twists every time the ticking clock tocks. I banged my knee up and down repeatedly on the ball of my right foot, my nerves kicking in as I got up and paced, walking to the window and back and then repeating the motion four or five times, until finally someone spoke up.

"Roxas, you walk past me one more time and I swear I'll trip you." Hayner grumbled. Yeah he's a grouch when he's sleepy; it only takes the slightest thing to set him of. And when he's set of he just doesn't shut up for hours. So I sat down, then stood and wandered over to the table, back to the couch, over to the book case, to the front door, still locked, to the bathroom, I hate that fucking mirror, to mom and dad's bed room, it still smells of lily's and dad's cigarette smoke, even though mom hates it, back down stairs, to the living room, to the couch. And so it repeated in a vicious circle to the point where my nerves were practically fried.

"Roxas?" I felt an arm tap my shoulder as I went to start my routine again from the couch. Zexion has finally dozed of, his head lolling back against the chair as the book rests delicately in his lap. I looked to Kairi and she smiled at me, moving Sora aside gently so that he was comfortable and kissing him lightly on the head so as not to wake him. "How about me and you go make a cup of tea. It'll keep you busy and I'm sure Hayner will appreciate it-"

Hayner cut in with a mumbled gruff of a bark. "To right woman. Make mine a coffee. Extra strong, looks like it'll be me pulling the all nighter. God alone knows why though. Fucking hate secrets." He stared around the room at us all in loathing, but I know he never meant it. He's just tired and cranky. A good nights sleep and he'll be back to normal, as normal as Hayner gets anyway.

I nodded down at Kairi and followed her into the kitchen. She flicked on the lights as we entered (yes I was pacing in the dark) and walked towards the kettle, filling it with water and turning it on before she placed two cups on the top, filling one with coffee (a lot of coffee, mind) and the other with tea and sugar. Why she only set out two I could only guess at, maybe she didn't want one. When she was done she turned back to me and smiled, leaning back on the top and sighing.

"I think a nice cup of tea will set us all right, don't you think?" I nodded, unable to say anything as my mind trailed of to Axel and Riku again. I heard her sigh as she walked over to me and put her hand on my arm gently, lifting it up with the softest of touches, and it was only just then that I realised I'd been tapping on the wood of the kitchen unit. "You're really worried huh?" Again I gave no answer but nodded and she frowned. "I don't fully understand what's going on, I must admit, and I'm not going to prod and pry the information out of you."

"You're not?" I was genuinely surprised; I thought that was why she had brought me in here.

Her smile broadened and she turned her back on me as the kettle clicked, letting us know the water was boiled. She poured the water out and stirred the liquids absentmindedly with a spoon. "Uh-uh."

I felt bad all of a sudden, for what I had said earlier. "Kairi…I'm sorry, for all that stuff I said-"

She waved me of and I fell silent. "You know Roxas, Sora dotes on you. You're his whole world. And sometimes, I get a bit jealous." She turned to me with a cup of tea in hand, not bothering to add milk to the drink before she took a sip. And now I was seriously confused. Wasn't that drink mine? She took a long sip and closed her eyes, "but I understand how you feel. About Axel I mean. I don't know what's going on, but I'm not an idiot. I know something's happening, something big or something bad."

I stayed silent and stared her in the eyes when she opened them, still smiling as she continued. "And I know that I wasn't supposed to take this from Sora while he was sleeping," she lifted the back door key from her pocket and twirled it on her finger as she lowered her voice, capturing all my attention. "But if Axel needs you, I think you should go to him Roxas."

She threw the key at me and I stared at it incredulously, catching it in one hand and staring down at it amazed before I looked back up to her, puzzled but overjoyed with happiness as I smiled at her. Hell I must have been fucking beaming. "Why…?" I had to know, after how much I had suspected her of being nothing but a slot machine for my brother…why was she helping me.

Winking at me, she stepped forwards and put her cup of tea aside. "Go to him Roxas. I would want you to do the same if I was in your position and it was Sora out there. Go. I'll make sure the others don't follow."

I ran forwards and hugged her, lifting her of the ground and twirling her in a circle while she giggled and I laughed before I put her down and kissed her, once on each cheek, turning from her and running for the door before she called me back. "Roxas, you might want to borrow these as well." She threw another set of keys at me and I grinned down at them in my hand. They were my dad's car keys.

"How…?"

She shrugged and grabbed Hayner's coffee, heading towards the living room and closing the kitchen door behind her with a smirk and a wink. I didn't waste any time. I opened the back door and grabbed my trainers, locking the door behind me as I went (it would do no good for my friends to follow) and pulling my trainers on as I jumped the fence and landed in the alley with a grunt. I ran to my dad's car, one shoe of and one shoe on as I heard Hayner's large scream of "WHAT!" reverberate around the house

I had my second shoe on in less then half a heartbeat as I opened my dad's car door and slipped inside; putting the car into reverse and speeding of in a random direction, wracking my brain for a place were Axel would go. I swear it was like I was having an internal monologue.

Would he go home? No, he wouldn't want Reno to get involved.

Would he go to the Police? With a crowbar? Not likely.

Would he go to get help from some of his friends? I doubt it, if Axel kept my privacy back in the house with my close friends around me why would he want to let the others in?

And that left only one place for me to check. Riku's. I berated myself for letting Riku's address slip that one time when we first started dating and did an illegal U-turn, going eighty mph in a forty zone. I was so grateful the roads were deserted; it made it easier and faster for me to joy ride through the city. Although it wasn't much of a joyful joy ride.

It took me less then five minutes to get to Riku's and my heart was pounding the whole way there, my palms sweaty and my head banging as the traffic lights seemed to blur with the stars. Red lights and green lights became one colour that just meant go. So I did. I pushed the car as fast as I dare, staying clear of all the cop stations I knew were near by and avoiding all the areas were I knew police cars waited, looking for a speeder like me to zoom past so they could chase us in a never ending game of cat and mouse. How do I know where they are? Well I'm not as innocent as mommy and daddy think.

I finally made it to Riku's without any hassle and I scrambled out of the car, leaving the door open as I raced up the steps, banging on his door furiously.

"RIKU! RIKU IT'S ROXAS, OPEN UP! RIKU OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

No answer. I cursed out loud and wandered over to the window, banging on it till I feared the pane would shatter. But it didn't and there was still no answer. I sighed, my eyes swimming as I took a step back and looked up at the house' dark windows. I knew he wasn't hiding from me; Riku just wasn't the sort to do it, which meant he wasn't home. I screamed out loud, my voice coming out like the rasp of a wounded animal. My frustration brimmed and the fear bit away at me. I was so sure Axel would be here, but he wasn't, and this was my only lead. Now what do I do?

At that precise moment my phone began to vibrate in my back pocket and I pulled it out with shaking fingers, growling as Riku's name flashed across the screen. I quickly answered and snarled down the phone. "Where the fuck is he Riku."

There was laughter. Sweet, beautiful, horrifying laughter. "Where's who Roxas?"

"Don't play games with me Riku. Where is he?" I growled, turning around and heading back to my dad's car, getting in and slamming the door shut as I started the engine and waited.

The laughter echoed again and this time there was a sadistic ring to it that had me biting my tongue. I bit down a whimper and refused to be kicked like a lost puppy. I wouldn't bow to him anymore. "You mean your friend? Funny story actually Roxas, you're going to love it. This guy, this guy I saw _my_ boyfriend kissing, comes to my home in the dead of night and tries to threaten me." The laughter rang out again. "He tries to threaten_ me_ Roxas. Don't worry though; naturally I took care of it."

A chill ran down my spine and the knot in my stomach turned to sick. "W-what did you do?"

"I did what I always do Roxas. I got my own way. Why don't you come down and see my handiwork, seeing as you've been attempting to tear my door of for the past fifteen minutes." The tone in his voice seemed to chill at the end and the bite in it was sharper than any knife I've known, but what scared me was how he knew where I was and what I was doing.

"How…how did you-"

"Know?" He laughed again. "You're so stupid and pathetic Roxas. Now, get your arse down here or I'll make sure it's the end of your little friend."

I shook my head and rubbed away my tears roughly, desperate not to seem weak. "No, I'm not going anywhere near you anymore. You're sick. Twisted and sick. You need to be in a freaking nut house."

His voice was calm when he next spoke. "You don't mean that Roxas, so I'll forgive you. Just this once. Maybe you would like to talk to your little friend, hm?" There was rustling on the end of the line and the next time I heard talking it was faint. "Talk." That was Riku's voice, and I held my breath, not daring to exhale incase I missed Axel's voice. But only silence rang out. "I said talk!" There was a grunt and the sound of heavy breathing.

"Axel?" My voice was so faint and scared, I hardly recognised it. "Please tell me it's not you."

"I'm sorry Roxas…I tried."

My heart froze. It literally fucking stopped. I stopped breathing and my body turned to stone. It was Axel. I'd know his voice anywhere. And Riku had him. "Hold on Axel, I'm coming-"

"No Roxas! Don't you dare. I mean it Roxas, stay away from him, he-" There was a large _crack_ and the sound of groans on the other end of the line before Riku's voice came back on the speaker.

"Now Roxy, do you want to come and see your little friend? Or should I just finish him and have him out of our life for good?" His voice was sweet, sickly sweet.

"No! No Riku, please. Please I'll do anything."

The harshness was back in his voice again when he spoke. "Then get here Roxas. You have one minute. We're on Fifth Street near Docking Port. Warehouse sixty three. Make sure you're there."

He hung up and I stared at the phone for a second, scared that it might bite me. Eventually, after what seemed like forever, I forwarded a message with the address to Kairi, hoping against hope that she would get it before I threw it in the back of the car and turned towards the port, my mind ticking away the precious seconds I had left as I zoomed down the empty streets, pushing the car further then I had ever dared push it before. With each turn of a corner came the blinding screech of the road burning the tires. The car would swerve before I'd jerk it back into a straight line again, pushing down on the accelerator hard as I made several turns and had near scrapes with lampposts and trees alike. The colours blurred and my head became swamped with worries. But I needed to get to Axel, no matter what the cost.

I finally made it to the port after what seemed like an eternity, crashing through the metal bars that proclaimed it was a 'no driving zone'. I drove right up to warehouse number sixty three, familiar with it as a good hiding spot that we all used to play in when we were little, a place were we could be free from our parents. But then the fishing industry took it over and it suddenly became a place of slaughter and blood. Needless to say we never went back.

I turned of the engine and looked up, gulping back my fears. I didn't want to go in, really really didn't want to. But Axel was in there, so what choice was there? I reached down in the car and began my search, carefully moving my fingers gently beneath the seat after a quick search of the glove compartment came up fruitless. A few seconds later my fingers knocked against something metal, something that clinked and shined like ebony when I pulled it out. My dad's gun. The gun had a rough handle, and I stroked along the side of the barrel shamefully. I had stumbled across dad putting this here without mum knowing a good four of five years ago. To think it was still here made my heart jump in my chest with excitement, adrenaline and fear. This was really it.

I tucked the gun into my belt at the front and hid it with my t-shirt; the way Leon had taught me when we used to go paintballing. It's funny what your mind does and doesn't remember really. Opening the car door, I slid out and shut it behind me, shoving the keys into my back pocket and frowning, taking deep breaths, as I made my way up towards the warehouse, fear swallowing the blood in my veins.

I pushed the door open and was met with the cold darkness inside, the moonlight behind me illuminating a few hooks that dangled from the ceiling, some still swaying from movement. I took three steps in and pulled the gun from my belt, sticking to the small slither of moonlight that held me in its grasp as it snaked up the floor. The gun was held in both my hands, facing down towards the ground, but ready to be raised within a moments notice. And that frightened me.

The door slammed shut behind me and I turned, gun raised with my finger hovering over the trigger. And then the lights came on, casting a dim yellow glow all around me while applause came from behind me. I turned and froze, moving forwards out of sheer determination before I stopped a short ways away from Riku…and Seifer and his gang.

"Hello Roxas. What's that you got there? A toy?" Riku smiled, walking forwards with a grin that I used to love. But I couldn't focus on him, because between Seifer and his gang of thuds, knelt on the floor with his hands bound, his eyes blindfolded and a gag in his mouth was Axel. Beaten, bloody and confused as he struggled for all he was worth, groaning when Seifer punched him in the side of the face, causing me to flinch.

"Back of Riku. Just give me Axel and I'll walk away. I won't say anything to anybody, I promise-"

"You really think I care?" The chill in his voice was like thunder in my ears and I shuddered when Axel's head perked up at my voice, his struggling beginning again. "No Roxas, I don't. All I want is my revenge." He pulled out a gun of his own and pointed it at me, both of us standing within feet of each other with loaded weapons. "I'm going to make you pay Roxas. But first I'm gonna make your friend pay for sneaking into my home."

"Pay for what?" I asked, scared out of my wits but grateful that my voice and body held strong.

"You know what Roxas. That kiss in the hospital. I warned you and you still went to his house." He licked his lips and smiled. "I have to teach you. Don't you see that?"

"You're insane Riku. Just let me and Axel go."

"You know, I should kill you right here. Right where you stand." He cocked his gun and pointed it at me with one hand. He was sweating and a small tear escaped his eyes as he shivered and shook. My own body stayed still as I held the gun at him, unwavering and absolute in my resolution.

"Do it then." I muttered, my voice full of such spite. I don't even know where it came from.

He grinned at me, his lips coming together in a hard line before he swept his hair aside with his free hand and jolted the gun forwards, expecting me to flinch. But I didn't. I didn't even blink. He scowled, taking a few steps backwards and letting out a sound that was half animalistic and half insane. Not one part of it was human. "Why do you have to make things difficult Roxas, huh? Why? Why can't you just do as you're told?"

"Because Riku," I took a step forward and enjoyed the feeling of watching him squirm. "You don't own me. You never owned me. I was a fool for letting it go this far. And I will _not_ let you hurt me or my family or my friends ever again. You've had your fun, now why don't you just fuck of?"

There was a flash of doubt in his beautiful eyes and for a brief second I thought I had won, but then something in them shifted and they became as black as his soul. "Oh Roxas," he smiled, "I have such plans for us."

He moved faster than I could have imagined and in less then a second my gun was kicked out of my had and was skidding across the floor away from me. Riku tucked his own into the back of his pants and advanced on me, swiping at me with a left. But I dodged away and came up on his right, landing a hard blow in the side of his back that sent him scowling in my direction. He aimed a sweeping kick at my torso, but I ducked beneath it, upper cutting him when he was distracted before he attempted to sweep my legs out from under me, growling when I jumped over them and punched him in the face once more, sending him sprawling back onto the floor with a face full of blood while I panted deeply and looked over to Axel.

I was about to advance before he pulled his gun on me again and smiled, licking some of his blood away and signalling to Seifer to help him up while the three other grunts took hold of Axel, all of them trying to keep him still. I froze as the gun hovered over my frame and Riku smiled, standing again and pushing Seifer away from him. "I tell you what Seifer." The large blonde stopped and turned to face his, what I presume to be, boss. "For every time Roxas hits me I want you to hit his friend, twice as hard in the same spot."

"Boss?" Seifer asked, shuffling nervously as his grunts pulled a struggling Axel up and held him against the wall.

"Take his gag of too; I want to be able to hear him." At Seifer's puzzled glance Riku turned and smacked him. "Just do it!" he shouted, looking back to me and grinning. "So where were we Roxas? Oh yes." He swept outwards with his left fist and I only just managed to roll away from it in time, coming up behind him and sweeping his feet out from under him, growling as he rolled away and jumped up behind me, kicking me in my lower back and sending me sprawling to the floor in a faceplant that grazed at least half of my cheek, the biting sting covered in crap from the floor as I coughed and got up, only just missing the standing stomp that was aimed towards my elbow.

In a desperate attempt at dodging another blow I ducked low and tackled him in his knees, sending us both sprawling to the floor with me on top as I lowered my fist in connection with Riku's face. Again and again I lowered my fist in a creeping rage I didn't know I had, heck I didn't even know I could fight, until Riku stopped moving and only pitiful groans rang out.

And then I froze completely still as the sound of held back grunts and whimpers reached my ears. I turned, still in shock, and watched as Seifer lowered the crowbar Axel had brought across said Axel's kneecaps. The crack sounded, the cry was bit back, and my rage swelled inside me to the point where I couldn't hold it back any longer. I didn't need to look to know that Axel's right kneecap was shattered beneath his jeans.

And that little distraction was all it took. Within moments Riku flipped our position and layered into me with his fists. But I didn't feel it, my body had long ago gone numb and all I felt was the mild discomfort as my nose crunched. Each fist that came towards me splattered more blood across my vision and I noticed, with a little difficulty, the Riku was actually crying. As if doing this hurt him.

But I wasn't falling for it again. I lifted my leg and kicked him in the back, distracting him for long enough so that I could punch him, toppling him of me and panting while I flinched, cringing when Axel bi back another agonised scream. Riku was up again, both of us crying, me for Axel and him for me, but that didn't stop him charging forwards and hitting me again in the stomach, but this time it felt different…very different. I shrugged it of and swept away from him the second time, pushing him away from me and swallowing back a croaked sob as Axel whimpered again. I didn't even hit Riku that time, what was Seifer blind or something? This whole situation's messed up. I need to get away from here, take Riku with me so that he can't hurt Axel anymore, at least then we'll have a chance, here we're nothing but sitting ducks in a vicious circle of sharks.

So I bolted, heading for the door and throwing it wide as I ran towards my car, hoping that Axel could forgive me as Riku cursed and followed. By the time the silver haired male was out the door I was already in my car and speeding of in a random direction, forcing him to follow me in a game of chase. But now what? I swept the blood out of my face so I could see the road and winced when I touched my broken nose by accident, the blood on my shirt has grown dramatically, but I put it down to being Riku's and carried on going. I need a place to go, but where? I can't go to the cops, too many questions and not enough time. I can't go home, that would just endanger my friends and Sora. I can't go to the forest, partly because there's no forest there anymore, not after the fire. Then it hit me, the perfect place.

I raced through a red light and groaned when I was forced to lurch forwards, my head spinning and my stomach feeling extremely sick as I looked in the wing mirror and groaned. Riku was right behind me in his black BMW, bumping me in order to get me to crash or pullover, I'm not sure which he had in mind but I'm guessing either would have done for him. But I wasn't giving up yet. I took a right turn and sped up, pushing the car to the max as I dodged out of the way of the small amount of traffic there was, hitting one hundred and twenty mph and still going up as Riku stayed hot on my tail, still bumping me. I was faintly aware of how one wrong move here would mean almost certain death. I put the car into second gear and swerved, the screech ringing in my ear as I took a left turning and came to a sudden halt outside the clock tower, mine and Axel's hideout.

I ran out of the car, covering my head as Riku pulled up and a shot rang out next to me. I ran through the revolving doors, sprinting across the station floor and up the steps on the opposite side, ignoring the pull in my stomach and the stitch in my side as Riku fired another bullet, grazing my arm and causing me to fall half way up the first flight. I groaned and bit my tongue, the copper taste flooding my mouth as I ripped my jacket of and examined the wound. It wasn't deep; the bullet had literally grazed my arm, taking chunks of my skin with it as it landed a few feet away with a ping. I scrambled to my feet and began running up the steps again as Riku shot after me, his loud footsteps drumming in my ear. He was half a flight away from me, and I still had nine flights to go. Fuck was I exhausted.

On the seventh flight I heard him growl and I fell forwards suddenly, hitting the concrete steps at an odd angle and banging my grazed arm with a yelp. I turned back and stared with wide eyes as Riku grabbed hold of my foot and attempted dragging me down the steps again, but I clawed at the concrete and managed to boot him in the face, startling him enough to wiggle free and continue climbing. But it didn't take him long to recover and no sooner had I turned the corner to go up the net flight than he was at the bottom of it, hot on my heels. But I finally made it to the top, a bloody and wrecked mess, but still at the top all the same.

I frowned, now what was I going to do. There was no way back down. I turned the corner and walked around to the back of the clock tower so that I was walking on the thin ledge that was beneath the clock face, my back pressed tight against the wall as my toes hung over the side. I mentally cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car as I looked towards the sky.

Heh, its dawn, and the sky's a radiant pink streaked with purple. I've never seen that before.

"That's it Roxas! No more running!" I turned left and almost lost my footing in surprise, standing back against the brick as my foot slipped, small rocks getting pushed of the side instead of me. I turned to face Riku as he pointed the gun at my head. "Get back here, now!"

I shook my head and closed my eyes as the wind whipped my hair, the beautiful breeze cooling my hot itchy skin. "No. You're sick Riku. Sick in the head. I'm not coming near you ever again. Why can't you just let me go?"

"Because…because…" he faltered and shook his head. "Because I can't. Now get your arse over here before you fall and I'm left with nothing but a splatter on the pavement!"

He was growling at me, the gun still pointed at my head. I wasn't left with much option, either fall to death or get shot. Either way this was the end of my life. But it was such a beautiful morning, the kind of morning I used to love waking up to. I'm glad I got to end it on a day like today. I was about to jump of the ledge, my eyes closed and my head heavy with all my memories of loved ones, Axel's face more prominent than the others, but just as I raised my first foot a shot was fired and Riku screamed, going down to one knee and hissing.

I couldn't see who fired the shot, but I know that whoever did it fired a second, forcing Riku down onto his butt as his kneecaps were blown out, the scream ripped from his throat and scratched my ears until I clamped my hands over them, trying to drown out the noise. His scream, it just didn't sound human. I looked left, tears in my eyes as Riku's body was dragged away still screaming, and Axel shuffled into my view.

My perfect Axel who's eyes were glazed over with tears and pain. He was a mess of blood and bruises, but he was smiling at me as he limped forwards on crutches, were he got them from I'll never know. He extended his hand towards me and smiled a full on smile, his green eyes shimmering in the dawn. "C'mon Roxas, let's go home." I grinned, sniffling as the tears fell before I shuffled across the ledge, my tears swamping my eyes while Axel cooed me across. "That's t Roxas, that's it. Nice and easy. Don't risk it."

I laughed a little. He could be such an idiot. But that was all it took. My laughter rocked my chest and my stomach seemed to bulge. I looked down in confusion as more blood spotted my shirt, but from where I couldn't tell you. I tilted, my head going dizzy, from blood loss or weariness I didn't know, but I leaned a little too forward and fell. I screamed, the sound scratching my throat as I felt the tears fall. I closed my eyes, hearing Axel yell, the world spinning around me as the air rushed against me and the sounds clattered into noting but an echoing buzz. But something was wrong; the ground never came up and hit me.

I opened one eye and frowned. The ground was still below me, just a few feet closer. So I looked up instead and my eyes sparkled as I looked up at Axel. His hands were latched around my left wrist, his body straining as he leaned over the side, sweat dripping across his forehead as he gritted hit teeth and attempted to pull me up. But he couldn't, he was too tired and hurt, and I knew it. My body was dragging him down, and he was slowly coming over the side of the banister, his stomach already half way over. I reached up and grabbed hold of his wrist, burying my fingers in a fistful of my dad's jacket while he heaved and I pulled. But it was useless.

I let go of the jacket as exhaustion took me, hanging on only as Axel held me.

"You know Ax…I never thought it would end like this." I laughed, staring at the ground and watching as my tears fell. "I always thought I'd die in a car crash or something."

"Don't Roxas." Axel groaned, struggling to hold onto me as he bit his lip and tried again, but it was useless. "Please Roxas, don't give up. Just try okay?"

"Axel you have to let go. You have to let me go or you'll fall-"

"Then I'm falling with you Roxas. I won't let you go out like this. Not on your own."

"Please Axel-"

"No Roxas." He was struggling to hold on, his hands growing sweaty as my shoulder went numb. I think it may have come out of its socket, but that doesn't matter. Soon none of the pain will matter.

"Axel you can't hold onto me. You have to let me go."

He was crying, his tears falling down his cheeks and landing on my own cheeks as we sat under the glare of the dawn. "But I don't want to." He whined, sobbing like a child who had just been told his puppy was about to die. "I don't want to Roxas."

"It's okay Axel. Thank you so much for helping me."

"Please Roxas, just hang on! The others will be here soon. Give them five minutes and they'll-"

"I won't be here in five minutes Axel." I mumbled. "If I do both of us will fall. I have to go."

He stayed silent and I could almost hear his heart tear in two. "But…but I love you Roxas."

"And I love you too Axel. That's why you have to let me go…"

He bit his lip and heaved again, but once more it came up fruitless and we were left in a worse position then we originally. His hand slipped through the sweat and I felt myself fall a few more inches, my eyes closed as I flinched, but again I never fell and I looked up to see Axel holding onto my hand with both of his own, a look of fear staining his face. This was it, he was going to let go. "Goodbye Roxy." He mumbled, about to let go of my hand as he sniffled, his fingers loosening ever so slightly -

"AXEL! ROXAS! WHERE ARE YOU!"

"ROXAS!"

"AXEL, ROXAS, EITHER OF YOU DUDES UP HERE!"

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief, listening to the sounds of Kairi, Sora and Demyx as the door to the stairs slammed open. Axel beamed down at me, crying worse then ever as I joined him. "I told you they were coming." He mumbled before he turned his head over his left shoulder and bellowed back to them. "I'M OVER HERE! HURRY!"

Within seconds they were there, all three of them flushed and panting with heavy bags as Demyx grabbed hold of Axel and pulled him back with Kairi. Sora grabbed my arm to make sure I wouldn't slip and together they heaved. My stomach scraped along the side of the brick and I yelped loudly, but they didn't stop, too preoccupied with getting me away from the long drop that threatened my life.

I smiled when they pulled me over the side, dropping to the floor in a fit of exhaustion as they fussed around me, half of me hugged and swamped by Axel and the other half by Sora, both of them berating me for being so stupid while they smiled with relief and cried. I don't know when I joined in, but I did, grinning as Axel stood up with the help of his crutches (I still don't know where he got them from) and pulled me up with him. Demyx and Kairi were stood smirking like idiots as they smiled and hugged us each in turn.

I watched as Demyx pulled out his phone and called an ambulance and the police, walking away while Kairi and Sora fussed over the both of us, forcing us to sit down and lie still so they could stop the bleeding. To be honest, I was under that much adrenaline, I couldn't even feel the pain and I didn't even notice we were bleeding. Sora and Demyx were full of questions, but Kairi batted them of and told them to let us rest. I seriously misjudged her. When I get out of this, and I will, I must remember to give her a medal.

I smirked at Axel as we both laid against the wall as still as stone, and was ecstatic when he smiled back, my heart fluttering that little bit faster as he held my hand and leaned in for a perfect kiss, the kind I melted into and never wanted to end. I grinned into the kiss, giggling like a mad man and Axel pulled back confused, one eyebrow raised as he smiled at me. "What are you laughing at?" He asked.

I smiled, looking him in the eyes and laughing. "This. It really is the perfect morning of the perfect day."

He stared at me as if I had grown a second head before he burst out laughing. "You really are nuts." He mumbled.

"Yeah, but that's why you love me." I laughed when he put his arm around me and ruffled my hair, pulling me in close for another kiss.

"Yeah, and nothing will ever change that. Mark my words Roxas Strife. I will love you for eternity, crazy or not."

"Oh yeah?" I froze and looked across from me to where Riku was sat, bleeding out with a busted face and tears on his cheeks, his knees a tangled mess before him. "Well let's hope you'll love him in hell!" He shouted, raising the gun and pointing at me.

The bullet fired, and the last thought I can remember registering in my mind is, 'Holy. Mother. Fucking. Shit.'. And then all hell broke loose.

* * *

There you go guy's ^_^ The reason this up earlier than normal is because my brother locked me in my room and went out so I had nothing to do but wait, so I figured I'd get this up while I was sat being bored. Also I was happily surprised with the amount of reviews the last chapter got, seriously it made me feel amazing to read them all, thankyou guys so so much :D You are all beautifully amazing people ^_^

**Nalah - hiya! ^_^ long time no see. I'm sorry I didnt mean to scatter your feels ^_^' I hope they are okay. haha, you're sister actually said that? Wow, makes me feel proud :) I'm glad I've ruined your life in the best way possible (never ever thought I'd say that lol) And I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much, I promise to keep writing :D Thankyou so much for reviewing **

**ReliveThe Great - I hope this chapter cleared up what happened to Axel ^_^ although he's not in much of a better situation at the mo huh? oops, poor Axel. Thankyou so much for reviewing ^_^ **

**Thank you to all my amazing favers, alerters and reviewers. You are all amazing and I hope you all like this chapter :) It has not been proofread (yet) But it will eventually. ^_^**


	17. How to save a life

I closed my eyes and flinched, lifting my shoulders and biting my bottom lip as I waited for the bullet to hit, my breathing speeding up as I silently said my farewells and prayed to all the deity's above. The bullet left the gun in a whirl of explosive thunder and I felt my voice catch in my throat, the sound of Kairi and Demyx's shrill screams filling the air as my brother shouted at Riku to stop, his voice croaking and cracking from what I could tell.

The world slowed down as I opened my eyes and waited, the bullet speeding towards me as I sat lodged in its path. But it's okay. It's all gonna be okay. You see, if I die, Riku will go to prison and everyone will be safe again. Everything will work out fine. So, in a way, I guess you could say I welcomed the bullet that ran at me, its steal smile forcing me to bite my lip harder as I braced for impact. But of course, like all things in life, it didn't work out the way I planned and I watched in a horrified stupor as Axel threw himself on top of me, holding my head into his collar bone as he grunted above me and grabbed a fistful of my hair, holding on tightly as he pressed his nose to my ear and held his breath.

I tried to shove him of, to get him to move out of the way before it was all too late. But he wouldn't. He just wouldn't move, and I wasn't strong enough to push him out of the way. I watched, terrified, as he stared at me with that stupid grin I had come to love so much. He opened his lips, about to say something to me, the words on the tip of his tongue, before he grunted and fell forwards, his fist tightening about my hair as he banged his head into my throat and hunched his back, his body heaving slightly with the impact.

But seeing it wasn't the worst bit, despite the tears that crinkled fresh on my cheeks and washed away the dirt that had grown there. No. The worst bit was hearing the bullet as it tore through the back of my dad's jacket and ripped into him, the sound of tearing skin and crunching bone filling the air before I felt a sharp stinging sensation in my lower ribs and the world seemed to gush into blurriness, my eyes squinting as I yelped at the impact of the bullet that had bitten through Axel and straight into me, burying itself in my gut as it nestled in my body, it's new home.

Axel fell against me, his breathing slow as he gritted his teeth in pain, both of us trapped together as I hissed and he grunted. And then time seemed to return to normal and the world sped up as I groaned and held Axel close, shaking as the air turned suddenly cold and the world became lonely. But through it all, through it damn all, Axel still smiled, his unfocused eyes settling on me as I felt someone pulling him out of my arms, ignoring my weak protests as they set him down in front of me and shook him slightly, shouting at someone next to them and I faintly recognised Kairi's voice before my brother knelt in front of me, shaking me stubbornly and slapping me to get me to stare at him, my mouth hanging open as my breaths came hard and sharp.

I slowly pulled my eyes away from Axel's as he spluttered and coughed before me, blood coming from his beautiful lips before Kairi moved in front of me and blocked him from my view, her hands pulling her jacket from her back as she passed it to Demyx and he pushed down on Axel's wound, ignoring the groan that escaped him.

More tears glistened in my eyes and I choked back the sobs. No sound reached my ears. I knew my brother was shouting at me as he inspected my wound, but I couldn't answer, too frozen to even know where to begin. "Stop…" I mumbled, ignoring Sora's attempts at shushing me as he panicked in front of me while I reached out to Axel, falling short by only a few centimetres as he remained motionless, my hand grazing the pavement mere inches from his own lifeless fingers. "You're hurting him…" I groaned, my words sounding like thunder in my ears even though I knew I'd whispered them.

I looked over my brother's shoulders, as if in a dream, as Leon stood behind him, his brown eyes wide and panicked as he swallowed thickly and turned to stare at Axel, completely at a loss of what to do as faint ambulance and police sirens whirled in the background, drowned out by my sorrows. "Leon, please…" He stopped and turned to me, his lips parted as he shook his head in disbelief. "Tell them to stop…" I groaned as a sharp pang hit me. "They're hurting him…They hurting him!" I shouted more, hoping they would hear.

But Axel was still. And I already knew somewhere in the back of my heart exactly what it meant, but I refused to believe it. He couldn't be- no he can't be. He isn't, he won't! He promised to never leave me. "Please Leon! He's hurting..."

I trailed of as my brother took a glance over Kairi's shoulder and paled, turning back to me and shaking his head, wiping his teary eyes as he turned to Leon, shouting something I couldn't understand as I attempted to shuffle to get a decent look at Axel. But I couldn't, and Sora was quick at putting me back in my place.

They conversed for what seemed like forever before Sora turned back to me and placed an arm under my shoulder, hefting me up as he went, ignoring my groan of protest. He mumbled things to me as he dragged me towards the lift, things I couldn't quite hear as every time I went to take a glance at Axel he pulled my head back and forced me to continue walking forwards, never once looking back. I stared in confusion as Yuffie pointed a gun at a shocked Riku's head, his temple bowed as he stared at his hands in his lap, full of regret and awash with tears as he looked up to me and reached out with shaking hands, earning himself a quick and harsh blow to the back of the head with Yuffie's silver gun as she shouted something at him, pressing the gun further against his skin and forcing him to keep his head bowed low.

The lift pinged, and Sora ushered me inside, waiting for it to close behind me before he let me turn around. I was swaying, I knew that much, and the air had suddenly turned to ice, the breeze from the air con becoming a freezing arctic slice as my brother looked at me worriedly. He was still crying when we reached the ground floor and he ushered me outside, practically dragging me to the car I found waiting at the base of the steps, parked in a double yellow zone. I laughed a little and Sora shot me a pensive look. He was going to get such a big parking ticket, dad would be pissed.

Hayner's head popped up in the car window from where he was sat drumming along to the radio and I watched his eyes go wide as Sora shouted at him to open the back seat, the words fuzzy even though he was right next to me. Hayner crawled from the front to the back, opening the door as him and Sora both managed to get me in and laid down in a matter of seconds, the car door shutting behind me as Sora slammed it and got in at the other side, climbing into the drivers seat and forcing the car into drive.

I groaned at the thought of my brother driving. Out of me and him, I'm a much better driver. Sora's too slow, too mellow, too afraid to break the limit and test himself, you know? You can guess how much of a shock it was for me as he sped of at sixty miles per hour down a thirty mile zone, but it was still pretty slow.

"Sora...? Sora let me drive!" I grumbled, attempting to sit up as my head became dizzy, but Hayner pulled me back down and told me to calm down and cool it. And then I fully recognised he was there and it suddenly dawned on me from where Axel had got the crutches from. "Axel pinched your crutches." I mumbled, laughing at Hayner's goofy, nervous smile before I stopped at the pain that bubbled in my chest. Within seconds Hayner was pushing something against my chest and forcing me to groan while my brother took a swerve and sped up.

My mind became groggy as time drawled on, the radio station flicking in and out before I finally began to listen, my ears clearing up somewhat as I listened to the track and let the tears fall, begging Axel to be okay as 'How to save a life' by Fray came on and Hayner shushed me, screaming at Sora to 'speed the fuck up!'

There was a loud honk behind Sora and I watched as he looked in the wing mirror, honking back and nodding as he pulled to the left a little and let a car pass him. I watched, still feeling as if I were in a dream, as Leon's car pulled in front of Sora before it was speeding away and gone. I didn't see much in the few seconds that the car's passed, but I saw the bloody hand print on the car window and I saw the tears on Demyx's cheeks as he shook his head and Kairi yelled at him, begging him ,from what I could tell, to keep trying. But trying for what I just couldn't figure out.

The rest of my journey passed painfully slow as I mulled over all that had happened, the pain sharpening as Hayner complained that his jacket was caked in blood before Sora peeled of his own and threw it back to him, easing the car into an easy stop while Hayner pulled the jacket away from me, gulping as I hissed and clenched my teeth and closed my eyes tight. He quickly swapped the jackets, and within seconds Sora was out of the car at his side and shouting for help as he went around to the back and pulled me out, Hayner unable to follow because of his wounded leg as I cried out in surprise and dropped a few feet outside the hospital, the large blue letters blurring and moving slightly in my vision as my brother hefted me up and a male and female nurse came out and helped me in.

As soon as we were inside I caught sight of Leon, Demyx and Kairi, all three of them pacing the A&E section with worried faces, blood stained hands and teary cheeks. Sora was pried away from me by one of the nurses as I was ushered into a separate room. I don't remember much, but I know Sora was screaming for me, begging them to do something and telling me it would all be okay as Leon pulled him back when he went to K.O. the nurse that held him. But I wasn't concerned about any of that. All I was bothered about was looking for Axel.

The doctor above me sealed on a blue mask while the others strapped me to a bed, literally strapping me in as I convulsed at the blood that seeped out of me, the pain increasing to the point where I feared I would be unable to get the breath into my lungs, each breath filling me with searing pain that threatened to explode my lungs. I struggled against the bindings and twisted, shouting for Axel to answer me as the harsh lights above me blinded me while I was wheeled down the corridor, my eyes hurting from the bright white as more nurses took my vitals.

"Axel…? Axel answer me! Damn it you're not funny!" I cried, twisting violently as I attempted to get a look back out of the room they had taken me to, but the double doors swung close behind me, cutting me of from the outside world as the doctors above me mumbled about sedation. "No, no please. I just want to see Axel! Please, just take me to Axel! I'm okay, I just need to see him." I refused to believe it as the nurse turned a nozzle beside the bed that was attached to a large tank, placing a mask over my face despite my protests and shushing me, telling me to count to ten. Then the gas would take me into a deep realm of sleep, away from all the pain. .

The room became fuzzy once more and I groaned, a loose tear falling from my eyes as I hiccupped and let the blood flow, my head pounding with the thoughts of Axel, my best friend. I thought back to all that had happened. It had all occurred in such a whir that the only things I had to grab onto where the fragments I had paid close attention to. I recalled them all, counting them of as I counted down the gas, my tears falling thick and fast as my voice broke, reminding me of when I was a child and all it would take was one of Axel's magic cuddles to cheer me up. But he couldn't be here, not now, but soon. Soon.

"One…" My recal began with the song on the radio… … … "Two…" the double yellow lines… … … "Three…" Riku crying … … … "Four…" Leon's scared eyes … … … "Five…" Kairi shouting at Demyx to try again in the car … … … "Six…" The amount of blood on Hayner's jacket … … … "Seven" Axel grinning at me just before the bullet was fired … … … "Eight…" Axel still grinning as he fell to the ground… … … "Nine…" Axel's hand, lying motionless and still… … … "Ten…" The blurriness of regret … … …

Please be okay Axel.

* * *

There you go ^_^ Sorry it's short and I hope you all liked it. Thankyou to all my amazing favers, alerters and reviewers :D You are awesome! :) If you have not heard the song mentioned please listen to it, it is the song that fits this fic perfectly (in my head anyway) and its the song I wrote this to :D

All rights of characters and the songs belong to their respective owners. Not me. :)

**Nalah - I know, blame my brother lol :) I'm glad it cheered you up :D that's always a bonus in my book. Ha ha I know, my friendssay I'm a teaser as well, but I couldnt help it, if I ended it there it would be just too cheesy haha :) I had to surprise my readers. And yeah, the little cliffhanger demon has become my loyal companion, I'm afraid I am stuck with him ^_^' sorry. I hope your feels get better soon in time for this chapter and I hope you are feeling better as well :) I'm so happy you think that this chapter was unique and different, honestly it makes my day to hear :D I hope this doesn't make you sob and sorry this reply is long haha, thankyou so much for reviewing and I hope you like this chapter :D **


	18. Pretty Please

There was an annoying beeping sound when I woke, and the darkness just seemed to never end. Seriously, it feels as if I could walk for eternity and still never get any further towards the light. My body aches. Completely and utterly aches. It feels as if a pythons squeezing itself about my chest while a lion claws at my insides. It's mad how much it hurts I swear.

I opened my eyes groggily and moaned, shifting as the bright light above me blinded me slightly. I moved a little bit, shifting beneath the thin covers draped over me and muttering curses as my side pulled painfully.

"Roxas? Roxas are you awake?"

I placed a hand over my face to shut out the light as I looked to my left, squinting slightly at the IV in my arm and groaning. Back in the hospital then? Great.

"Roxas can you hear me?"

Turning right I smiled a little at Sora, his fuzzy hair frizzy from an obvious night of little to no sleep. There's no one else in the room from what I can tell, but I heard Sora push a button on the wall somewhere and a _ping _rang out, hurting my delicate ears. "Sora?"

A sigh of relief rang out. "Thank goodness." He laughed nervously and I struggled to sit up, mumbling a 'thanks' as Sora hefted me up. "We were really worried about you; you've been asleep for ages."

I frowned slightly. I can't recall much, everything's just a blur of confusion and panic. "We?" I croaked, looking him over with a raised eyebrow. My head feels light, and my eyelids heavy, it's all I can do to stop myself falling to sleep as he opens his mouth to explain, the horrendous _beep_ still reigning loud and free in the room. I really wish someone would shut that stupid machine of.

"Yeah, me and the others?"

"Others?"

"Oh, Demyx and Zexion just went for a cup of coffee. Hayner had to go home to look after Namine, and Leon's on the phone with mom and dad, you know, because they're still in prison and…stuff." He went quiet and I groaned.

"Where's Kairi?" I asked, suddenly confused about where my brother's other half could have wondered of to.

"Huh? Oh, she went to go grab us some food." Another nervous laugh. "We haven't moved since they brought you out of surgery. Typical of you to wake up the minute everyone goes home." He rolled his eyes and I smiled a little, but there was something that wasn't quite right…something I'm forgetting.

"And Riku…?" I asked, too ashamed and scared to go on.

"Taken into custody first thing this morning. Yuffie patrolled him down there herself after stealing a shopping trolley from Asda. She said the cops weren't fast enough and by the time they finished eating donuts you could have been dead…"

He trailed of and I laughed a little. It does sound characteristically like Yuffie. "Wow," I sighed, "what a mess, right?"

He gave me a warm smile and a squeeze to the hand. "Well that's all it is Roxas. A mess. And together we're going to help you clean it up, okay? All you have to do right now is concentrate on getting better."

I nodded, my head feeling heavier when I moved. "Feels like I'm forgetting something." I muttered, wracking my sore brain to remember as Sora shifted nervously next to me, rubbing his wrists and avoiding my gaze. "What is it?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

He looked up at me, his normally warm eyes cold and sad, about to speak before the door at the opposite end burst open and a man in a white lab coat walked in, a clipboard filled with notes stuck to his hand as he walked in with a warm smile.

"Roxas Strife I presume?" His voice was cool and perfect, each letter pronounced with dignity.

"That's me." I mumbled, turning away from Sora with difficulty as the doctor approached, still smiling.

"At least you're conscious now and you seem to be responding well to treatment. That's a good thing eh? You're a lucky lad Mister Strife, very lucky. Not many would make it out of a situation like yours and live to tell the tale." I frowned while he took my vitals, still trying to process what I was forgetting. "Now, let's see shall we?" He looked down his clipboard of notes and frowned, ticking things of as he went. "Stab wound to the lower abdomen, bullet wound in the chest, graze to the arm, ripped tendons in the left shoulder, numerous bruises, cuts and scrapes and a broken nose." He finished ticking of down the list and turned to me. "So how do you feel?"

I stared at him incredulously. "Like I had ten balls of shit knocked out of me, how do you think I feel?" I grunted, gritting my teeth as I sat up further and my stitches pulled.

He scowled at me and rested a hand on my shoulder, pushing me back down gently. "Yes well, there's no need for that sort of language Mister Strife. I'm only trying to help-"

"Then please," I mumbled, "pump me full of painkillers or something."

"I'm afraid you're on the highest dosage possible for a patient your age-"

"Then double it-"

"Mister Strife, I'm afraid I am unable to administer any more than is legally acceptable and medically accurate. The pain will dissolve soon."

"You've just gotta be patient Rox." Sora mumbled, giving me a comforting smile while I groaned and let my heavy head fall back on the fluffy pillows, still unsure of what was missing. "Tell you what, how 'bout I text Demyx and ask him and Zexion to bring us up some sea salt ice cream, it's your favourite right?"

He pulled his phone out and I laughed hollowly. "Yeah, sounds good. Don't get Axel none though, he doesn't… …" I trailed of, a sudden realisation hitting me as I sat up slowly, propped myself up on an elbow, and looked about the quiet hospital room, the steady beeping grating on my nerves as I swallowed thickly.

"Doesn't what Rox?" Sora asked, and I turned to him, shaking my head and breathing deep.

"Sora? Sora where is he? Axel, where is he?"

"Axel?" the doctor asked, looking at me puzzled while I ignored him and continued to stare at Sora.

"Roxas," Sora took a deep breath and held my hand tight. "Axel-"

"He's okay, right? He's fine? We got here just in time, we did, we had to have, we must have-"

"Mister Strife calm down, you're going to send your body into shock-"

"Sora, answer me!"

He fidgeted for a while before he looked up at me and gave a crooked smile, as if he was fighting to keep it there. "He's here Roxas, alive…but nothing's set in stone until the next twenty four hours are over-"

"Set in stone?" I asked, shaking my head and struggling to sit up properly, swatting the doctor's hands away when he attempted to push me back down again. "What do you mean set in stone?"

"Well he took a lot more damage from the bullet…" Sora began, shaking his head as he looked away again. "Look, just forget I said anything okay? Axel's fine."

I stared at him for a while. "You're lying. Sora, you're lying to me." I pushed the covers back and pulled the IV from my arm, yelping as it sliced through some of my flesh while I slung my legs over the side of the bed. "I have to see him. Which room is he in?"

The doctor grabbed me by the shoulders gently and pushed me back. "Mister Strife, if you do not calm down and lay back down I will be forced to administrate a sedative. Please cooperate, it's in your best interests that-"

"Just let me see him, I'll do anything after I know he's okay-"

"Roxas maybe you should do as the doctor says?" Sora piped in, getting up and pulling me back while I struggled and pushed against him, attempting to get up for the umpteenth time and again failing as the doctor buzzed for assistance. I was still struggling against them when two nurses arrived, perfectly dressed in white and red, angels of blood together. They crossed over o the room and held me, strapping my arm up as I yelped when my injured shoulder was knocked, my head dizzy and my vision faint as the doctor flicked the needle and pressed it against my arm, pushing the metal into my skin and filling me with a thick gooey liquid that seemed to ooze into my veins.

After a few seconds my brain became foggy and my vision was nothing but shapes and shadows. I wanted to keep struggling against them, to fight them of and get up to find Axel, but I couldn't. My body just wouldn't cooperate. I felt my body get pushed back down against the covers, my head lolling back against the pillows once more, and then the realm of my subconscious took me and whisked me away to a place of darkness.

* * *

It was dark by the time I next woke, and this time there was no annoying, buzzing _beep_ fro me to mentally argue with. I opened my eyes sleepily once more and flexed my hand, grateful that the IV wasn't replaced into my skin as I stared down at the silver plaster across my hand with bleary eyes.

"You know, you always seem to cause trouble, everywhere you go."

I frowned at the smooth voice and turned, recognising the hint of laughter hidden within the words, to spy Demyx sitting half asleep on my right. Zexion and Kairi are sat at the end of my bed, both of them asleep, Kairi cuddled into a cocoon and Zexion sprawled outwards like a teddy bare. To my left is Sora, still in the same spot as last time, but he seems paler, more tired. I sighed mentally; I really have to get him a present or something after this.

"You awake sleeping beauty? Or are you just some killer zombie from Call of Duty? God alone knows you've got enough wounds to look like one." There was short, nervous laughter and I grinned slightly.

"Yeah I'm up."

"You're not gonna freak out on me, are ya?" Demyx asked, shuffling closer to my bed and smiling, careful not to wake the others.

"No…hey, how did you know about-"

"Sora told us. Said you freaked out over Axel."

"…Oh…Is he any better?" The words felt like clumps of wet tissue in my mouth and I didn't dare look up to meet his eyes, staring at my hands instead as I sat up.

"No changes. Leon and Reno are taking it in turns watching him while we're in here. Leon wanted to come in as well, but we were hard pressed to persuade them to let us in, never mind anyone else."

I laughed a little, not feeling any joy at all. "Have you seen him Demyx? …Axel, I mean. I really, really want to see him."

He smiled. "Yeah I've seen him, and I don't think you should, especially not in the state you're in." He looked me up and down and I winced even though his words were spoken softly, my heart sinking in my chest as a silence passed between us. "You're really worried about him, huh?"

I nodded, unable to think of what to say. "Yeah…I just wish I could give him a message somehow."

"Hmmm…" Demyx sighed and rose out of his chair, telling me he'd be right back as he stood and walked out of the door, closing it softly behind him as he went and leaving me with nothing but my sleeping friends and brother.

Ages passed, and I thought for a brief moment, that he wasn't coming back before the door opened again and Demyx poked his head around the corner, disrupting my game (which consisted of me ripping up paper and trying to get it into Zexion's open, snoring mouth).

I stopped and stared at him, my arm frozen in a throwing position, as he whispered to me excitedly, "are they asleep?"

"Er….yeah, pretty much." I threw my paper and growled as it bounced of Zexion's head, causing him to huff and bat it away when he turned in his sleep.

"Good."

He walked into the room and my attention was immediately drawn to him as he wheeled in an empty wheelchair, grinning like a mad man as he propped the door open with some books. "What the-"

"You said you were worried about Axel right?" I nodded tentatively and he gave me a thumbs up. "Then let's go see him"

I smiled so big my broken nose began to ache. "For real's? You're not messing?"

"Roxas." Demyx grinned, bringing the chair to rest by my bed. "Do I look like I'm messing?"

"Demyx I fucking love you." I beamed, grinning as he helped me sit in the chair, my body aching as I finally relaxed in the seat and laughed lightly while he wheeled me out, careful not to wake any of the others.

"Yeah well, I suppose you can't help it really. I am just that irresistible."

I scoffed as he wheeled me down the corridor, grinning as we approached the lift and he clicked the button. I waited impatiently, listening to Demyx hum a strange tune as the lift _pinged _and I was wheeled inside, heading up to the fourteenth floor.

"You know everyone's gonna freak when they see I'm missing, right?" I asked, and Demy just shrugged.

"I left 'em a note."

"….you left them a note?"

"Yep."

I laughed, unable to control my giggles as I fidgeted nervously in my seat. "Where did you get this anyway?" I asked, running my arm along the fabricated arm rest.

"Some old geezer on the X-ray ward was hogging it. I borrowed it when he went to the jon."

"…you stole it from an old person who went to the toilet?" I blinked at him stupidly from over my shoulder, still smiling as he laughed. "Way to bash the old people Demyx, hit and run old fanny style."

He stuck his tongue out at me and grinned. "Yeah well, at least I got one. You know, if it bothers you I can go take it back-"

"No! Seriously, its fine. I'm sure that dude has plenty more stashed about."

The lift opened again and I shielded my eyes as my doctor walked past, grateful that he didn't recognise me as he hit on some nurse that clearly wasn't interested. Demyx wheeled me down some more corridors and I frowned, losing my way in a matter of seconds until Demyx finally stopped outside a solid oak door and his smile faded. "Here you go Rox…now you gotta promise me that you won't get upset, okay?"

I nodded as the joy in my stomach turned to anxiety. I realised, with a sudden discomfort, that I had no idea what I was walking, or rolling, in to. Axel could be in the worst shape possible and I wouldn't have a clue until I opened this door. "Okay bro, hand on." Demyx mumbled, opening the door and jamming it with his foot as he wheeled me inside.

Inside the first thing I noticed was that Leon was asleep, strewn across a chair with his legs in the air and a frown set in place, a half done cross word puzzle open on his lap. The air was filled with the annoying, droning sound of an oxygen machine that whooshed none to quietly in a corner beside Axel's bed, which was still too far away for me to see clearly. But as Demyx wheeled me closer, I saw the horrible state my best friend was in.

His eyes were black underneath, and the rest of his face was covered by a large oxygen mask that helped him breathe. His arms were hooked up to several machines beside the bed and they seemed to snake into him at every vein they could find. I couldn't see much else of him, but I noticed the labour in his breathing and the large black and blue bruises that started at his neck and slowly made their way down to his casted leg.

I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing, tears coming to my eyes as Demyx stopped me near the bed and shuffled a way a little, mumbling about getting a coffee as the door clicked behind him on his way out, leaving me with no one but the snoozing Leon and the unconscious Axel. And I'm not sure which one is worse.

I shuffled a little in my seat and reached for his hand, flinching at the coldness of it while I rubbed it between both of my own, trying to warm it up and frowning when the cold defeated me and I gave up, just holding his hand instead. It was strange, being left alone in nothing but the cold opaqueness of lifeless company. But I still felt a need to explain myself to Axel, to talk to him and tell him everything I had kept bottled up.

"Axel…? You look um…good?... …" I laughed a little, choking on my nerves as a tear crawled down my cheek. "Scratch that, you look bad. Like hell even. Why did you do it Ax? Why did you have to go after him? I could have fixed things, made it so he went away." I knew I was lying, but talking, even if it was just lies, was better than sitting and saying nothing. Doing that would have suffocated me.

"Your so cold Ax…it's strange. You're never cold… … … You'd best pull through this or I swear I'll be coming to the after life to drag you back." I shuffled nervously again as the beeping rang out, my smirk fading in the silence. "Please wake up Ax…I don't wanna have to live without you."

He didn't stir and I sniffled slightly. Unsure of what to do until an idea hit me and I smiled a little. I turned back to stare at Leon lightly, grateful that he was still asleep as I hefted myself up and out of my chair with difficulty, clutching my stomach as the stitches pulled once more and I was forced into a silent resolve, grabbing hold of the chair as I sat on Axel's bed and lifted my feet up, stretching out beside him as he waited for me in his unconscious stupor. I laid down with my good shoulder towards the stiff mattress, my hand still clutching his clammy fingers as I snuggled up into his side, burying my face in the folds of his side and being extra careful not to hurt him as I closed my eyes and waited, breathing in his scent and letting my tears fall.

"I miss you Axel…please come back to me …pretty please?"

* * *

Okay, please forgive any mistakes, I will be proof reading this tomorow when I drag myself out of bed :) Thankyou to all my favers, viewers and alerters :D I'm really in two minds with this fic, should Axel make it through the night? Or shouldnt he? Meh, let me know your thoughts guy's :) I appreciate them, even if it's just a PM or something :) Of course you don't have to, but it probably will influence my decision as I am leaning more to one than the other. Anyway, thanks again :D and sorry this is short, but I will have the next chapter up by like...i dunno, maybe the day after tomorow? Yeah, that sounds about right :)

**Guest - I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day :( I'm so glad that this managed to cheer you up :D seriously, that's like the best praise an author can get, yano? I tried to surprise my readers so I'm kinda glad you didnt see it coming, and yeah, funny thing is though, this is like, one of the only fics I actually use cliffhangers constantly in...I wonder why... I'm glad to hear they don't annoy you :) I'm trying really hard to break my habbit :) I hope you like this chapter and thankyou for reviewing, I hope you have better day's at collage soon too :) **

**Nalah - :O Awww, but I like hearing your thoughts. I will keep writing don't worry and I have counted out my chapters, only 3 left to go. 3. That's it, then this fic is finito and I can finally put it to rest on my dusty imaginary bookshelf ^_^ Thankyou so much for reviewing :) and I hope you like this chap**


	19. Perfect flavour

I woke again groggily, my head pounding a little as strange noises blurred around me, confusing me a little as I cuddled into the warmth pressed against my face, determined to drown out the sound. There was a pause of silence and then the sound continued again, but it was softer this time, quieter and easier on my ears. After a few more minutes of shuffling beneath the covers and enjoying the light brush of something soft over my cheek as it brushed back and forth repeatedly in a slow and careful motion, my ears adjusted to the land of the living and I recognised the sounds as voices…so I decided to listen.

"…Surprised the doctors haven't gone mad about him being here." There was the sound of an obvious sigh and a clicking of the tongue. "He's just like his dad. I swear, if he'd just follow the rules every once in a while-"

"Aw, lighten up Leon. The kid was probably just worried about him or something. Besides, I straightened it all over with the doctors and they said he's good for a few more hours before he has to go back." I recognised Reno's grinning voice and frowned a little in my sleep, the fogginess of my memory betraying me.

"How did you manage to get them to do that? I tried talking to them for hours and they just grumbled about him being a risk…" Leon mumbled, and I found myself smiling slightly.

"The same way I managed to get three of the nurse's numbers since last night. It's called a sympathy vote my brother."

"Do not call me your brother Reno…wait, your brother was in hospital and you were chasing skirts? Man, your priorities are fucked."

The sound of laughter rang out from both parties and I kind of wanted to join them, but decided against it and opted to listen instead, enjoying the warmth of friendly company and the smooth brush strokes on my face. It's not that I don't appreciate Sora and everyone's company, but they're all so morbid and hefty…as if they really don't want to be in a hospital with me again. But who can blame them, right?

"Yeah they are a bit scrambled, but what you gonna do right? I knew Axel would pull through eventually. He always was a drama queen. He used to suck mom dry of attention when we were kids."

"I think this was a little bit more serious Reno. Seriously, how could you have been so sure?"

"Because I'm his brother Leo and-"

"Leon" my dad's best friend corrected, and I could just picture the sour look on his face.

"Whatever man, the thing is, I knew Ax would pull through cuz I had faith in him."

"And you're sure it's not just because you were stoned at the time?" Leon asked judgementally, berating some one he hardly knew once again. It seems to be a habit with him.

"Possibly." Reno sounded unsure and I grinned against the warm blanket at my face, still not one hundred percent sure of what was going on. "Damn what time is it man?" There was a gasp of shock and a sharp inhale of breath. "Damn, it's five thirty. Fucking morning shifts suck. I need a coffee. What do you think Leon; fancy a brew?"

"We're not supposed to leave his bed side-"

"Leon, you look like shit, and so do I. I'm sure Axel won't mind us leaving for a ten minutes or so, right bro?"

There was a shuffling on the bed that caused me to groan as my pillow shifted without my permission, turning slightly until it stilled and deflated a little, a sigh filling the room. "Nah, you two should go home for a bit. Besides, I'm sure mom and Yuffie will be worried sick. You'd best go check on them both." I frowned at the voice. It was soft and sweet, gently spoken and so comforting that I forgave my pillow for trying to desert me.

"No bro, I didn't mean for hours. I meant just a quick ten minutes to straighten ourselves out-"

"Well I think you should take the rest of the afternoon of." There was a pause and I heard the heavy sigh come from Leon's throat that could only mean the beginning of a lecture. God I hate those. "I'm not taking no but's for an answer Leon. If you guy's don't leave then I'll have the nurse throw you out, both of you, by the scruff of your necks." Laughter came from above me and I found myself smiling into my warm blanket, hating the eerie scent of medicine that clung in the air.

Reno scoffed and I think I heard Leon's rock hard face break as a smile broke through. "So much for little brothers, eh Reno? Come on, let's go. We'll be back tonight to check up on you. And no mucking about while we're gone…" Something must have passed in silence because the next time Leon spoke it as stern and stoic voice. "I mean it. No fooling about."

The door opened and I could only picture them walking through it, still so confused about the whole dilemma. "Yeah little bro, no overdoing it okay? We don't wanna come back to find you both in the morgue or nothing, got it?"

"Got it." The voice above me was again silky smooth, but there was a crackling laugh in there that had me eager to open my eyes, but not yet. Not when Leon and Reno were still half in the room.

"Alright Axel, see ya soon."

Axel? My Axel? The Axel I snuck in to see in the middle of the night? That Axel? He's awake? My min was buzzing with questions and an excitement I refused to let overtake me. I mean, what if it isn't Axel or something? What if it is but he's in the worst state imaginable? What if…what if…?

I swallowed hard and gritted my teeth, scared out of my wits as I slowly, ever so slowly, cracked an eye open. The room was bright, blindingly bright, and I was forced to close my eyes tightly and groan, snuggling closer into the warm blanket pressed against my face. My body still aches, but it doesn't seem as bad as the other day when it was so bad I was begging the doctor for painkillers.

"Oh, so the snuggle monsters awake, huh?"

I groaned at the loud voice and cuddled closer into the covers, muffling at the voice to shush so that I could block out the pain from the light.

"What's that? You know, considering you're the one who snuck into my room, your kind of hogging the bed…and the covers…and the pillow actually."

There was laughter in the voice and I chanced another look up, but again the light was blinding and I had to close my eyes once more, groaning and gritting my teeth, mumbling about turning down the lights to whoever I was speaking to.

"What's that? You gotta speak up Rox; I can't hear you when you've got a face full of my side."

"The lights…" I grumbled, "Turn them down."

"Huh?" there was shuffling before a curse swirled around the room and the lights dimmed significantly, allowing me to heave a sigh of relief. "That better?"

"Much." I smiled, opening my eyes and blinking, feeling better now that the light was nothing but a dull yellow glow at the opposite side of the bed. It turned out that, yes, I was indeed snuggled into someone's side, and they were the warm blanket I had been so tightly pressed up against. I blinked and shuffled, my eyes adjusting to the light as I looked up into bright smiling emerald eyes and a winning grin that had caused me so much happiness and pain.

Axel was grinning down on me as I blinked up at him stupidly, his eyes glazed over from pain relief and his red hair flat and frizzy. His face was pail and he was wearing one of those stupid hospital gowns, his thumb still stroking over my cheek as he whispered things to me, staring down on me a little concernedly. But all I heard was the fuzzy sound of muffled words; I was much too preoccupied with the overwhelming joy that filled me, the bubble of glee starting in the pit of my stomach and making its way up to the base of my throat.

I faintly heard Axel say he was calling for a nurse before I lunged at him, swamping him with my hands and hugging him tightly around the waste, squeezing him as he shrieked and I laughed aloud, burying my face in his torso and mumbling thank you to the heavens above for saving him. It took him ages of coaxing before I finally relaxed my death grip and I laid there, my arms hugging his waist as I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. His heart beat that had saved my life.

He was still stroking my cheek and laughing as he mumbled words of confusion and concern to me, asking if I was okay and if I wanted him to get some help. I just shook my head and laid there, listening and letting the bubbles of happiness pop and dissolve in my chest. Finally, after what felt like a few short moments to me, I let him go and sat back with some difficulty, smiling at him as he laughed at me.

"What?" I asked, slightly apprehensive, I mean, what if this is all just a dream or something and I have yet to wake up…that would be too cruel.

"You. Sneaking into my room in the middle of the night. They couldn't move you or anything, you was sleeping like a rock. Slept right through them taking my blood pressure and everything." He was laughing again and my smile widened as a blush crept onto my face. "I was kinda surprised to wake up here, even more shocked to see that you were by my side, literally too. Man, you should have seen Leon and Reno trying to explain it to the nurse, a funnier thing I have yet to see."

"…I was so worried about you. I just had to come and see you."

"Heh, I'm not complaining Rox. I'm glad you came. How did you get here though? I mean, did you walk? I didn't think the doctors would let you out-"

"Demyx snuck me out."

"Ah. That explains it." We both started and I felt the weight of all that had happened fall from my shoulders. But one little thing was still nagging at me.

"Axel…can I ask you something?" I asked, biting the inside of my lip as I wriggled further under the covers as the biting chill gnawed at me slowly.

"Of course Rox. You can ask me anything, I've got no secrets to hold from you." He brushed my hair to a side lightly and kissed my temple before his thumb went back to stoking my cheek.

"How did you get there so fast?" I didn't have to elaborate past that. He knew I was talking about the clock tower and about Riku.

"Well…" he stopped for a minute and took a deep breath, resting his head back on the fluffy white pillows as his smile disappeared to be replaced by a frown. "Sora, Kairi and the others turned up at the warehouse after you'd left. Demyx, Zexion and Sora managed to beat Seifer and the rest of them of and Kairi got me into a car where Hayner was waiting for me. They wanted to take me straight to the hospital but I wouldn't tell Sora where you were unless they took me with them. So they took me to the clock tower and left me in the car with Hayner while they climbed the steps. While Hayner was busy gabbing I stole his crutches and helped myself up the steps. They must have gotten impatient waiting for the lift or something because by the time I got there it was opening on the ground floor and they were nowhere in sight."

"So you took the lift?"

"Yeah. A good job an' all. I only just got there in time." He let a small smile stall across his face before he let out a shaky smile and hugged me tight, cuddling my confused face close to his chest as his wet tears fell on my hair and dampened it.

"Axel? Axel why are you crying?"

"I thought…I thought…" He shook his head in my hair and let out a shaky laugh. "It doesn't matter. Your safe and that's all that matters."

I hugged him back and for a while we just laid there, sitting in silence and staying locked in a safe embrace that seemed to wash all the pain out of me. I closed my eyes and relaxed, loving the warmth Axel gave of and smiling into the folds of his hospital gown. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it must have been a while because by the time we pulled apart it was almost bright sunshine outside.

"Hey Axel…"

"Yeah Rox?"

"I love you."

"Heh, I love you to."

"…I need to ask you something."

"… …What is it?"

"… … …"

"C'mon Rox, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Right."

"Then what do you need to ask?"

"… … … Axel I really like you…I love you to the point where it hurts…when I thought I'd lost you I almost died. I thought my heart would stop working."

"I'd never leave you Rox."

"I know… …Axel I love you…but I'm just….I just…. …."

"…Just what Rox?"

"… … Not ready yet… …"

"… Ready?"

"I want to be with you, forever and always… …but I just need…time. Is that okay?"

"Of course Rox… … I'll wait for eternity for you, and even longer if it comes to it. You tell me when you're ready Rox, I'll be here waiting."

"Thank you Axel, I really do love you-"

"I know and I love you to. And when you feel like your ready to start dating again I'll love you even more so."

"You're not mad…?"

"I'm not mad."

The kiss he gave me that sealed the promise of eternal love was salty sweet. His tears drenched his lips when he captured mine and yet he was so sweet to the taste, just like sea salt ice cream. My perfect flavour.

The door swung open and surprised me so much I yelped and Axel gave another laugh, grabbing my arm and saving me when I nearly fell out of the bed, pulling me towards him and grinning as I glowered at him and stuck my tongue out, giving one last scared look down at the floor before my attention was pulled to the doctor that walked towards us with a clipboard in hand, my brother and friends fast in toe with Kairi dragging Demyx into the room by his ear, ignoring his yelps and pleas as she scowled down at him.

"Axel, sorry for the intrusion, but it appears my patient has run away. Do you perchance have any idea as to the location of one Mister Strife?" It wasn't a question really, and it wasn't directed at Axel, but more at me. My brother huffed and folded his hands behind the doctor and Zexion yawned behind him, smirking as Kari hushed Demyx, who was hopping on the spot in pain, with a quick twist of the ear she had pinched between her thumb and forefinger.

"Mister Strife?" I hid further under the covers as Axel laughed. "Nope, never heard that name before?"

"Then would you mind explaining the rather large lump you appear to be sharing your bed with?" The doctor asked, raising an eyebrow at me and taking another step into the room.

"This?" Axel wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me in protectively. "This is my bed bug. I'm not sharing him either, if you want one you got to go get your own." He stuck his tongue out and I was forced to laugh as he whispered a "busted" to me out of the corner of his mouth.

The doctor laughed and Demyx gave me an apologetic look, mumbling that he held them of for as long as he could before Kairi swatted him over the head and Zexion gave a small laugh of betrayal. "I'm sorry Axel, but my patient really does belong in his own room. It's simply against hospital rooms for patients to share a bed."

"What patient? There's no patient here, just me and the bed bug. Aint that right bed bug?"

I nodded and grinned as Sora rolled his eyes at me and smiled, resting on the wheelchair that was brought into the room for me as he gave me a small knowing wink.

"Axel, I'm afraid I am forced to remove you of your er…bed bug."

Axel grumbled and pulled me closer, mumbling about thieves as Sora pushed the wheel chair towards his bed and I was slowly pried from Axel's arms. The sad smile on his face tore through me as he finally let go and I was lowered into the wheelchair with some help, still holding onto his hand as the doctor clicked his tongue and led our small party out of the room. I held onto Axel's hand for as long as possible, clinging to his fingers until I was finally forced to part from him when I could no longer reach.

Sora promised to bring me back for a visit as Axel sat up to watch me leave, me and Sora being the last to exit the room completely as the others filed out. He winked at me and gave me a soft smile, and the thought of leaving him all alone in the hospital gave me unsteady shudders that had me completely uneasy about leaving him. But there was nothing I could do about it, so with a heavy heart and butterflies in my stomach, I set of with Sora back along the corridor and into the lift, heading back to my miserable white room with a warm feeling in my chest and the beautifully perfect taste of my new favourite flavour on my lips. Flavour Axel.

* * *

There you go guys :) Only two chapters left now :D and look, no cliffhanger :3 They are both fine, everyone's okay and Riku is in jail :D a perfectly safe and happy chapter ^_^ anyway, this hasn't been proofread yet so please forgive any mistakes :D atankyou

**Nalah - naww, sorry that the end is approaching quickly, but i did promise to have it ended by the month of September :( but yeah, I think it kind of deserves to be put to rest :) nice and happy like all my readers want :D I hope you like the ending :) and thankyou :) I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thankfully Axel made it, so your feels arent quite ruined yet :) haha, no need to start a campeign, he won ^_^ thankyou so much for reviewing :) I hope you like the next chapter ^_^**


	20. Freedom

I sighed and opened my eyes slowly, hating the light that crept across the hospital room as it penetrated the window and peered in, its sparkling breath frosting against the glass as it glared through. It's been two weeks since I was first brought here and unfortunately I'm still not ready to go home, apparently there was something wrong with the bullet wound. I think it might have gotten infected or something. Oh well, hospitals always were bacteria nests.

I've been dreading this day for so long now. Why? Because it's the day of the court hearing, and I've got to go give evidence as to what Riku did. I wouldn't mind, but it's before a whole court full of people, needless to say it's a little scary. Sora promised to go with me, and all my friends as well because they're all giving evidence. But not Axel, no matter how much of a fuss he kicked up the doctors refused to let him go because of his injuries, not that they wouldn't like him to mind, I hear he's been a right terror on his ward.

"You awake Rox?"

I turned to Sora and sighed. After the first week people had to get back on with their lives, going back to school and jobs and such, which meant less visitors and less people. Only Sora stayed, but being my brother I guess he kind of had to, yano? "Yeah."

He twiddled his thumbs in his lap and frowned, leaning back in his chair slowly. "You ready for this? We can always call and say you wanna give evidence through a wire or something."

I shook my head. We had already discussed this before. Sora still thinks I'm too delicate to go and see Riku in this state and he was really pushing for me to just record my view on the situation and send it into the court to be judged without my actual presence being there. But I can't. I need closure for what he did to me, I guess. I just need to see him going down the road to prison so that I can get on with my own life. If I don't see him get sent down, then my own life will be plagued with the worries of him coming back. I need to go today. I don't want to. But I need to.

It took me fifteen minutes to get dressed into the suit Sora brought me, mostly because of the stupid stitches that keep pulling in my side, and all the way through it he was trying to persuade me to change my mind. He was slightly upset to see that I hadn't, but he was still being supportive as he helped me walk on wobbly feet down to Axel's ward, my last stop before signing out of the hospital.

When I reached the right floor Sora pushed me gently out of the lift and smiled, mumbling about how he was going to grab us both a cup of coffee and how I had to be down in fifteen minutes if we were to make it down to the hearing on time. I guess that's just a long way of saying that he was giving me and Axel some privacy though. And I was grateful for it, nodding my head and smiling at him as the lift closed and I was left standing alone.

Walking up to the hospital room I ran into my doctor as he walked towards me flipping his notes, but he did nothing but smile at me and roll his eyes, probably grateful that I'm no longer one of his patients. Why? Well, let's just say Axel wasn't the only one playing up. Hey, I'm just a teenager, I'm entitled to my bit of fun right? I passed my doctor and continued walking down the corridor, feeling oddly out of place without my wheelchair and hospital gown. And Sora brought me a black suit as well. I look as if I'm about to visit some old lady and tell her its about time she coughed up and paid for the funeral service she hasn't used yet or something.

I shook my head and smiled as I wrapped my knuckles on the door to Axel's room, grinning broadly as I entered when the faint "come in" reached my ears. Inside the scent of lilies reached my nostrils, forcing me to sneeze as my hay fever decided to throw a party. Great, my eyes are going to puff up and everything. I covered my nose and caught my sneeze before it landed, glaring at the lilies at Axel's bedside while he laughed at me, sitting up a little in bed and putting down the picture he had been drawing.

"Damn Rox, who ordered the butler penguin? Not that I'm complaining or anything."

"Ha ha, very funny." I grinned, taking a seat next to his bed and sniffling slightly from the pollen in the room. "What's with the flowers anyway?"

"Huh?" He glanced over to the flowers and shrugged. "Mom sent them in a few days ago; she said she couldn't get down so she thought these would do. Not much of a swap but I'll take what I can get."

He smiled at me and I melted a little, grinning back as I leaned forward and rubbed my hands nervously. I wasn't nervous because of Axel, but because of what it was I had to do. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't frightened, hell I'm petrified. I turned to stare out the window beside me and sniffled a little.

"You okay?"

I frowned before I turned back to Axel, smiling at the worried expression that graced his features. "Yeah I'm fine, just nervous is all."

"You know you don't have to go today, right? They can do a video link or something-"

My smile melted, "you're begging to sound like Sora."

He sighed and frowned, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly and shifting irritably. "It's just because we want what's best for you Rox. If you go back and see him in court today who knows what it could do to your mental health." He let his arm dropped and looked at me worriedly. "Please don't go Rox, please."

I shook my head and frowned at the floor, unwilling to answer him as he groaned and let his head flop back against the pillow on his bed, closing his eyes and sighing before he peeked one open and glanced to me.

"Will you at least promise me that if at any moment it gets too much, you'll get out of there straight away? It doesn't matter about the court hearing, or about any of this sentencing crap, just please come back in one piece okay. Not one twisted in the mind or blown up in the body piece either, just one piece of Roxas. One normal piece."

I looked back up to him and smiled, "sure thing Ax, I can promise that."

He opened his mouth with a grin, about to say something to me, before my phone vibrated violently in my trouser pocket and I was forced to pull it out and unlock it. I scowled a little at the text, a reminder from Sora that he was waiting and that I still didn't have to go if I wasn't up to it. I wish people would stop telling me that, I know I don't have to go, but I need to. They just don't understand. I shoved the phone back into my pocket and sighed.

"Sora?" Axel asked, one eyebrow lifted curiously as he shifted a little more.

"Yeah… I've gotta go. I'll come back and see you though." I promised, standing up and leaning across the bed, careful not to pull at the stitched bullet wound in my torso as I gave Axel a careful hug and smiled, grateful when he wrapped his arms aback around me and gave me a gentle, but assuring squeeze.

"I know you will." He whispered, "make sure that bastard pay's Rox."

I laughed a little and gulped. "Don't worry Ax; I won't let him get away with hurting you."

He released me slowly and smiled up at me, that sweet cocky grin plastered across his lips once more. I couldn't help the bubble of laughter that escaped me when I looked at him, grinning up at me like a mad man. My phone vibrated again and I was forced to leave, smiling sadly as I went while he almost fell out of the bed watching me go, craning his neck for one last glance as he gave me a thumbs up and scowled at a nurse that entered the room as I left. I shook my head at him through the window as he waved at me and blew me a kiss, a kiss I caught and put in my left pocket, winking at him as I went, waving with my right hand.

It took me a while to get out, mainly because of the fact that my side ached with a burning fire, but also because I got lost on floor three until a nurse found me and redirected me to a flight of steps that led straight down to the ground floor. That's another thing I hate about hospitals, they always seem to trap you, it's as if they don't want you to leave or something.

When I finally got outside Sora was leaning impatiently on the wall beside the automatic doors, tapping his feet and glancing at his watch when I came out, still sniffling from the lilies in Axel's room.

"What time do you call this?" He groaned, kicking his foot of the wall and turning to face me as I thumbed the blown kiss in my pocket. "We're going to be late and everything Rox."

I rolled my eyes at him and let out a shaky breath as Demyx beeped the car horn not too far away, smiling at me as me and Sora made our way over. "It doesn't matter if we're late Sora, as long as we get there." I mumbled, nodding my acknowledgement to Zexion who sat next to Demyx as I crawled in the back next to Kairi. Hayner must already be at the hearing with Namine, Pence and Olette because he wasn't there, and there wasn't a car following our either.

The car rolled away and I sat in silence throughout the journey, staring down at my feet and thinking hard as the car rolled by shops and houses alike. Demyx was chattering the whole way, talking about nonsense that didn't really matter, but it still brought a smile to everyone's lips, including my own occasionally. The radio was on too, but the static it brought was enough to drown out the lyrics so I couldn't understand the song and all the way Zexion fiddled with the dials to try and get it to work. Needless to say it was a pointless effort.

The car eventually stopped and I looked out the window on Kairi's side to find the court house glaring down on me, busy men and women strode past in formal suits while they chattered on phones and banged their suitcases, and a cleaner wandered past with a litter picker, whistling to himself absentmindedly as he went. I took a deep breath and gulped, my leg jumping up and down nervously as I rubbed my sweaty palm on the fabric of my trousers. I felt something grip my arm and I turned with glazed eyes to find Sora looking me over concernedly, his eyes travelling up my frame as he spoke.

"Roxas, you don't have to do this. I'm sure they've got more than enough evidence to convict him without you."

I shook my head and let out a shaky breath while Demyx turned of the engine and scrambled out the car, Zexion and Kairi following suit until just me and my brother remained. "Sora…. I have to do this."

He sighed, long and heavy. "Okay Rox." He released me and gave me a soft smile, opening the car door and straightening out his jacket. "Let's go."

As he got out of the car I followed, walking out into the sunshine and squinting a little in the bright light while Demyx locked the car and started up the steps. I was the next to follow after Zexion, Kairi and Sora bringing up the rear as with each dull thud of my heart beat I neared the court on unsteady legs. My pulse raced and my mind became a blur of past events, my throat swelled and my torso heaved with each breath as my own blood turned traitorous and pounded in my ears, making it difficult to hear as I swallowed thickly and looked about nervously. People either didn't recognise me or didn't stop to say anything, they were all much too busy on their phones, some heaving sighs of relief and others in floods of tears, their voices becoming elated or breaking. I guess that this is the place were lives hang in the balance.

The doors where heavy when it came for my turn to pass through them, the revolving glass like thick lead in my palms. Inside the air conditioning was cool and welcomed on my tense flesh as the rich mahogany furnishings gleamed with a polished light. I walked up to the desk with our small group, my fingers twitching slightly as my nerves failed to obey. Sora did the talking to an aged man over the counter and he smiled slightly at me before he rushed me and the others through a pair of large oak doors.

Inside where two rows of people, both sets of which turned to stare at us as we made our way to the front. I was grateful when Kairi squeezed in between me and Sora, her arms going to hook with both of our own as she straightened her back and glared at the people who dared to judge us, forcing them to turn their heads away in shame as we made our way to the front. I sat down with the others and she gave me a soft squeeze, winking at me slightly as I hung my head and waited for the murmurs and whispers to die down.

Eventually they did when a security guard came to the front and ordered us all to rise in honour of the judge who would be taking a look at my life with a magnifying glass, picking at the seems with a fine toothed comb and listening to people twist lies about who I was. I can't wait to get started.

The judge entered in his powdered wig and we was aloud to sit after a few minutes, silence settling all around me while a few people coughed and the judge ruffled his papers. "Bring in the accused." He mumbled, and I faintly recognised the tone of boredom that droned of his tongue, yawning around the room as if he had a million better things to be doing.

I looked left and gulped as a door creaked open and Riku was brought in, sat in a wheelchair and brushed with a few scars here and there, but other than that he was still perfectly beautiful and poisonous. His silver hair glimmered and his turquoise eyes sparkled with a gorgeous glint that made me feel sick. His eyes scanned the crowd as the lawyer Sora hired for me stood and made his way forward, and when they landed on me I blushed and bowed my head, causing Kairi to turn to me and raise an eyebrow suspiciously while Riku was wheeled to the stand where he was forced to take and oath of truth. And then the case began.

My lawyer paced for a while, rubbing his chin and humming as Riku smiled in his chair. "Mr-"

Almost immediately Riku cut him of. "Call me Riku." He grinned, looking past the lawyer and staring at me once more, and I was forced to look down once more.

My lawyer smiled and nodded his head. "Riku. Is it not true that you and my client had a relationship together?"

"Me and Roxy?" My name was sweet on his tongue and it made me gag. "Yeah we dated for a while."

"Just dated? Never anything serious?"

"Well yeah…I guess you could say it was serious."

"Guess?" My lawyer asked, raising an eyebrow slightly and standing still. "You guess Riku? How does one guess about their relationship?"

"I don't. I know it was serious…for me anyway. But Roxas" he sighed heavily and I lifted my head to stare at him, confused at how he could remain so calm and collected. "He cheated on me, so I guess it wasn't serious for me."

"Cheated on you? You know this?"

"Yeah, I caught him kissing his friend." His voice cracked fakely and I ground my teeth together angrily. "I'm afraid that if I didn't catch them it would have gone further."

"Uh-huh…so you were mad that my client cheated on you, is that right?"

"Yes."

"How angry?"

Riku shuffled a little. "Pretty angry."

"Angry enough to hurt him? To punish him so that he wouldn't do it again-"

"No! I-"

"You thought that if you punished him you could correct him-"

"I never-"

"That you could teach him a lesson and he would love you more."

"I never hurt Roxas. I helped him. I made him a better person." Riku ground out, his eyes flashing in a rage that had my leg tapping again as my nerves began to fidget.

"Is that what you thought you were doing when you were hurting him?"

"I never hurt Roxas, I corrected him. I made him better!"

My lawyer nodded and looked Riku up and down, judging him slowly. "Tell me about the boy you caught my client with Riku."

Riku frowned and I could practically feel the rage radiate of him. "Axel? There's not much to say really. Him and Roxas are pretty close…"

"How close?"

"…best friends."

"And that made you angry?"

"He was kissing him! He was my boyfriend, Axel had no right-"

"No right?" My lawyer frowned and started pacing again. "But this is a free country. Surely if my client wants to be with someone else-"

"He's mine! I won't let him!" Riku shouted, the silence echoing around him as he breathed deep and stared at my lawyer hard. "I love him and I had him first. Axel. Can't. Have. Him."

My lawyer smiled and turned to the judge. "That's all." As he sat I saw Riku bury his head in his hands and the mumbling began. The judge pounded his hammer and called for order as the ruckus rumbled throughout the room, and I subconsciously shrunk in on myself as Riku grinned at me, flashing me those pearly white teeth of his and winking. It was really scary to know he was treating all of this like some kind of joke.

The next person to stand and question Riku was his own lawyer who tried to prove his innocence, claiming that Riku was slightly psychotic and mentally depressed with a bad start on life and incapable of showing rational emotion. Basically he was chatting a load of rubbish, but the worst bit was that the jury was eating it up. It was almost as if they were loving the sad story he was telling.

I tuned back into the conversation when my name was called and I was asked to go to the stand by my lawyer. I gulped nervously and the babble in the room seemed to turn to white noise as Kairi gave me a light squeeze and I stood on shaking legs, my heart thumping so loud in my chest I feared it would burst as I made my way up on slow feet towards the stand where I was to be questioned. Every eye was upon me. My judgers, my friends, my brother, my lawyer, the strangers, and Riku's. And they were all waiting for me to slip up, or at least that's what it felt like. Before I reached the stand the security guard pushed a bible out in front of me and put my hand atop it, asking me to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I agreed and mumbled my answer before I took the stand and waited with nervous breath, the blood screeching in my ear as each time I swallowed my breath caught and I feared I would forget how to breathe.

"Roxas, do you remember what happened on the night of your injuries?" My lawyer asked and I swallowed hard, ignoring every other eye in the room and concentrating on his green eyes and his alone. It's strange how much they look like Axel's. But Axel's are brighter. So much brighter.

"Yes."

"Would you mind explaining them to us?" My lawyer turned and swept his hand out behind him to gesture towards the crowd, but I still kept my eyes on his, pretending those emeralds were Axel's.

"I went around to my house…" I swallowed hard and breathed deep. "Axel was there. I told him…almost everything." I remembered the rape I had left out when I had first confessed the horrifying situation I was in.

"And how did Axel react? Was he mad…? Angry?"

I looked down at my hands and shook my head. "No, he was calm…really calm."

"Then what happened?"

"I went upstairs for a shower, and when I came down my friends where there, waiting for me."

"And where was Axel?"

"He was with them." I thought for a moment before I responded. I don't want to get Axel into trouble… If I don't mention the crow bar then they might not ask…right? "But he left. Said he was going out."

"Going out? And at what point did you meet Riku, Roxas?"

"It was after Axel left. He'd been gone hours and I was getting worried. I went to Riku's to see if he was there because they hadn't been getting on lately. But when I got there the house was in darkness…and Riku wasn't home. I got a call, from Riku, and he said that he had Axel, and that I had to meet him by the waterfront." I stopped and swallowed, hating the dryness of my mouth.

"So Riku had taken Axel captive?"

"Yes. When I got to the waterfront they had Axel tied up-"

"They?"

"Yeah, Riku and Seifer and two others. But I don't know who they were…" I shook my head and looked up.

"It's alright Roxas; just tell us what you know." My lawyer sat on a desk and looked through some of his notes as he did.

"Me and Riku ended up fighting…I don't remember much. I remember them hitting Axel with a metal bar across the knees before I managed to get away, back into my car."

"You left Axel in the hands of these violent men?"

"No, its not like it sounds." My voice broke and I choked a little. "They said that each time Riku hit me, if I hit Riku back, Axel would get hit with the metal bar. I had to get away so that they'd stop hurting Axel." My lawyer nodded, the brown moustache above his lips wriggling slightly. "I got into my car and texted my friends Axel's location before I drove to the clock tower. Riku had a gun by the time I got out so I was forced to run to the roof. He fired the gun…and it grazed my arm, but we kept climbing up and up."

I stopped and shuddered a little, the images fresh in my mind as my pulse began to race, my mind plagued by the memories of all that had happened. "Then what happened Roxas?"

"We got to the top of the clock tower and I climbed on the ledge to get away from Riku. But he followed and told me to get down…but I couldn't. I was too scared. I don't remember much else after that. Axel just appeared out of nowhere and I was suddenly surrounded by all my friends…and then Riku fired the gun again. And Axel got shot…. And so did I."

I finally stopped and swallowed, taking a deep breath and staring down at my trembling fingers. "The next thing I knew I was in the hospital."

My lawyer smiled and his eyes twinkled a little as he stepped forward. "Thank you Roxas. Take a seat."

I wobbled back down on numb feet, my eyes locked onto the carpet as I walked past Riku, not daring to look at him as the words around me muffled into a long buzz like drone similar to that of an insect beating its wings. I was aware that I had lied under oath. Many times too. It wasn't my car, I do remember what happened and I also had a gun… … but I had to protect Axel, and myself if possible. Besides, Riku deserves all he gets. Right?

The rest of the hearing passed in a daze. At some point I remember looking up when the door at the end opened to reveal my parents. But I was too ashamed to meet their eyes. I mean…I hurt them so much. I watched as each of my friends and even my brother was called up to the stand, but each time their mouths moved and their words fell out I never heard anything. It was as if they were all miming in an invisible play and I was nothing but an invisible watcher. And yet the whole play revolved around me.

Eventually, after what seemed like eternity, the play, and so the court case, ended. And the Jury came back with the verdict. Riku was guilty, and all that was left was his sentencing. My body shook and my breath caught as my ears popped and I waited, biting my bottom lip and closing my eyes so I could listen better as the judge spoke.

"Riku, you have been found guilty of the charges of grievous bodily harm, attempted murder, and physical, mental and psychological abuse. Traditionally you would be sentenced to twenty years in prison; however, I believe you are mentally unstable and therefore could not understand or comprehend the seriousness of your actions and why they were unfit for society's modern age. Therefore I am sentencing you to five years in prison and you are ordered to see a psychiatrist under court supervision. Case dismissed!"

The hammer banged down and I paled. Five years. He had almost killed me and Axel and he would be out again in five years. Probably three if he behaved inside, and knowing Riku, that's exactly what he'd do. I sat in a daze as the mumbling began again and swarmed around me, unable to move for ear that I would break the spell that had befallen me. I felt someone grab my arm lightly before I was led out of the seat I was sat in, and then before I could register anything in my mind I was being smothered by my mom and dad, my mother going mad and crying while my dad just stood and smiled. And through it all I just frowned, staring at Riku over my mother shoulders as he smiled at me and winked, two lumbering great security guards pushing him back through the door my parents had come through. And then he was gone. And for the first time in what felt like forever, I could breathe easy again. I was free.

* * *

One chapter left! So excited! This has not been proofread, but if I didnt get it up tonight you would have to wait till next week because my stupid business teacher has stuck me with a ten thousand word essay :( anyway, updates may be a little slower but hopefully you'll hang in there for the last chapter ;) I promise it will be worth your while. I hope you all enjoyed :D

**Nalah - I'm glad you like it :) yep just two left and then this is finito lol :) I hope you like this chapter and thank you for the review :D**


	21. Time for Change

I was sat looking out of my window when the door bell rang downstairs. I was watching the snow fall, my chin in my hands, and just thinking about everything that's happened. I was pulled away from my thoughts by the sounds of muffled mumbling downstairs, but soon returned to my dreamland. The snow was soft but heavy, and from my window I could see the growing winter wonderland succumb to the slumber of the soft petaled flakes. It was nice.

I bet you're wondering what's going on huh? Well, let me fill you in on the details. It's been just over a year since Riku was put away, and Christmas is just around the corner, hence the snow. I failed school epically, but that was to be expected after everything that had happened I guess, and Sora moved away to university. Of course Kairi went with him and moved into a flat nearby. Seven weeks later I heard dad going mad down the phone at Sora when he told him that Kairi was pregnant. What an earache that day was.

Demyx and Zexion finally got it together after a few more months and Namine is dating Pence, under Hayner's supervision of course, and all of them have moved to the outskirts of town. Hayner joined the military and he comes down every so often to take special training courses under my dad (and to see me). Olette opened up a flower shop on the other side of town and Laxrene moved away to study down south. I guess you could say our little group broke up, I prefer to think of it as us spreading out. We still keep in touch, but it's harder and less often. We text and call, and visit occasionally, but its harder, you know?

I haven't left the house much…I help Leon out with his garage occasionally, but other than that I just draw. I've sold a few pieces, for quite a bit of money as well, and a lot of people have requested murals from me, but I only tend to paint when I feel like it. Axel badgers me often, egging me on and stuff. He's the only one I listen too lately, him and my family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm still respectful to strangers and stuff; I'm just a little bit more reserved lately, a little bit more knocked.

Axel's doing well for himself. He still lives nearby and my mom jokes that he practically lives with us. But he still goes and sees his mom and Reno, and he has a flat of his own as well. He works in a business and just recently got promoted too, so I guess you could say he's doing better than just well for himself. At the minute Axel's not here, he's at Reno's. Doing what I couldn't tell you.

The snow outside has finally stopped and settled in a blank page of white obscurity. There are no signs of life outside and the stars have been overtaken by the grey fluffy clouds that constantly drift, always attempting to catch up to the moon that eludes them. The soft yellow glow of the street lamps soften the harsh winter white, but beneath all of their trying the black brightness always seems to fill the void that stills the ground below me. The sound of mumbling has stopped, and instead the creeping noise of footsteps seems to close in, the humbling sound of boot on carpet coming ever closer as I closed my eyes and waited.

The sound of tapping echoed around my room before the door creaked open and I turned slowly around, my eyes opening ever so slightly to capture the sight of my visitor. Sora was stood in my doorway, grinning like a mad man and still dressed in a smart suit. His hair is slightly less crazy, and his eyes seem to sparkle with a little less life, but his smile still speaks wonders, saying words I couldn't even begin to use to express myself. He gave a small laugh and let the backpack he was holding fall to the floor with a _thump_.

"Hey Rox, long time no see bro."

I gave a grin and stood from my seat, walking up to him and letting him embrace me in a stiff hug while I attempted to control the twitching flinches that coursed through me. I've gotten a lot better at controlling them; I'm just not completely there yet. He let me go with a sigh and clapped me on my shoulder, grinning madly. "So how are you?" he asked, walking further into my room and jumping onto my somewhat chaotic mess of a bed.

I took a seat on the swivel chair by my desk and turned to face him. "I'm good. Dad says that if I don't get a job soon he's going to stick me in the army with Hayner." We both started laughing at that and I ran my fingers through my hair to undo some of the knots. "What about you and Kairi? How is she?"

He nodded slowly and smiled. "Yeah, she's good."

"And the baby?"

"Fit and healthy."

"You know the sex yet?"

"Nope." He let out a small laugh and leaned back on my pillows. "Kairi said she doesn't want to find out either, she wants it to be a surprise."

"Really? Don't you wanna know?" I raised and eyebrow and he laughed a little.

"Of course I do, but I don't wanna know without her. Besides, it's too early to tell yet anyway." He waved the answer of to the ceiling with his hand before folding his arms behind his head and turning to face me. "What about you anyway, how are you and Axel?"

"We're good." I turned in the chair and fiddled with the hem of my sleeve.

"Just good?"

His prodding tone forced a smile out of me and I rolled my eyes at him. "Okay we're doing well, really well. Axel thinks he might be able to afford his own place soon."

"And you're going to move in with him?" The question was genuine, but it still struck a chord in me.

I shrugged and turned to stare back out the window. "I dunno. Maybe, I guess."

He let out a sigh a sat up. "You know Rox, I don't think moving in with Axel would be a bad idea, but you need to take your time with things. If you're not ready, then just let Axel know, I'm sure he'd understand."

I let a smile flutter back across my face. "Wow Sora, that was pretty deep for you."

I started laughing and he rolled his eyes at me. "Roxas, I was being serious."

"I know, I know. It's just weird hearing it from you." A silence settled between us, but it wasn't awkward, more comfortable. "So, where's Kairi staying?"

He grimaced slightly. "She's spending Christmas with her family. She still has to break the news to them."

I let out a low laugh and whistled. "Wouldn't like to be you right now."

He grinned and let his legs hang over the side of the bed. "Yeah, my thoughts exactly. You wanna swap places?"

I shook my head rapidly. "Not a chance bro, not a chance.

He was about to say something else but the screaming sound of our dad's voice ran up te steps to greet us.

"ROXAS! SORA! DINNERS READY!"

Sora grinned and bounced of the bed. "Looks like something's never change." He laughed, heading for the door as I followed him, grinning at his retreating back. It was good to have my brother back home.

* * *

It was dark by the time I re-entered my room. My stomach was full to bursting with my mom's rich Christmas dinner and my eyelids were half closed against my will. It took me all my might to stay awake long enough to get changed into my pyjamas and sink into the cool covers of my bed.

It was seconds before I drifted of into a deep sleep that had me wrestling the dreams and nightmares that so often tempted to visit me. I was in the middle of a particularly bizarre dream involving carrot juice and watermelons when I felt the shift of the covers rouse me from my slumber and the soft nudge to get me to roll over slightly.

With great determination and a tired head I slowly opened on eye halfway and grinned at the blur of red and green above me before something warm and tall shuffled into the covers beside me. An arm slipped about my waist and hugged me tight to a firm chest before the soft words rang out.

"Hey Rox."

"Mmm…hey Ax, good day at work?" I turned over so I was facing him and buried my face in his night shirt, bringing both of my arms up to rest between our torsos as I snuggled in closer. Mom and Dad know that he sometimes sleeps here, but they don't seem to mind. For some reason they've taken a shining to Axel, more so than what they already did anyway. I think it's because they know we're not doing anything, you know…sexually. It's mostly because I still haven't quite gotten over what's happened. But Axel doesn't seem to mind, in fact he's been more supporting and loving then I could have ever wished for.

He yawned loudly before he pulled the covers further over his shoulder. "Not bad…Got the key's to my own place today."

"Mm-hmm."

"…You thought anymore on moving in with me?" I stayed quiet for a long time, thinking long and hard on what he said as his breathing evened out above me. "Rox?"

I smiled slightly into his chest and sneezed. "I want to move in with you."

He seemed startled, but overjoyed at the same time. "Y-you mean it?"

"Yeah. I think I'm ready for a little change Ax. I think I'm ready to move on."

He squeezed me tight in that instant and his lips touched my forehead in a soft feather light kiss. "I'm so proud of you Roxy."

I smiled at that. Genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. "Me to. I love you Axel."

"I love you to Roxas. Forever and Always."

_**FIN**_

* * *

Thank you to everyone who stuck by this story. All of you who reviewed, faved and followed made this work. I'm glad it is finally done now, and I'm sorry this chapter is short, but I didn't want it any longer. It's just a little chapter to tie up the ends :)

If you are wondering if Riku left them alone. Well, that ending is mine and mine alone ;) sorry. But you all have my blessing to let your imaginations run wild with this fic. :) Did he leave them alone or did he come back at them with a bitter vengence? It is entirely up to you. Thank you all so much again and please forgive any mistakes. I will proof read this another time.

**Thank you **


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